Charlie’s Angels (2000)

Matt (00:00:00):

Charlie’s Angels (2000 is the subject of this episode. It’s the movie starring Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Lou. It was a movie that I actually really loved when I was 12 years old, so it is my selection. I had us watch this movie and assumed we would have a lot of fun tearing it apart, really ripping it, a new one only to find Laci and I both liked it a lot. It’s actually a really fun and solid action movie with three very likable women leads who kick a lot of ass. So we had a good time with this episode. Also dig into the history of the Charlie’s Angels franchise, the 1970s TV show, the trend of what’s called jiggle television from the seventies. You’ll get to learn all about that, all the different iterations of Charlie’s Angels, obviously the two movies that were directed by McGee, the reboot TV series from 2011, the reboot movie starring Kristen Stewart, and the sort of weird reception of that and how it compares with the 2000 movie. If you don’t care about any of that, look in the episode description, look for movie discussion, and jump to that part of the episode. And you will just hear Laci and I having a lot of fun talking about the very fun movie. Charlie’s Angels from 2000.

Matt (00:01:29):

Hello and welcome to Load Bearing Beams. I’m Matt Stokes.

Laci (00:01:33):

I’m Laci Roth.

Matt (00:01:34):

Hello, Laci. Welcome

Laci (00:01:36):

To the campus. I’m great with knives and then I’m an equestrian.

Matt (00:01:41):

I’m great with shit. I don’t have any attributes. I can edit a podcast. Will that help us on our missions?

Laci (00:01:48):

I’m Samurai with bubble letters.

Matt (00:01:51):

Are there any bubble? Sorry? Are there bubble letters in this movie?

Laci (00:01:54):

No.

Matt (00:01:54):

Is that a skill that they deploy at one point in the movie?

Laci (00:01:57):

No.

Matt (00:01:58):

No.

Laci (00:01:58):

That’s why I’m the four Venn diagram of what they can do. I have no overlap, so I’m coming in fresh and they need me.

Matt (00:02:06):

It’s what you want to do when you’re joining a team or you’re looking to join an organization. What can I bring to the table that they’re looking for?

Laci (00:02:13):

I do think they all have to know how to do the splits. However, and I’m wondering, I wanted to look this up. Did Drew Barry Moore learn how to do splits for this? Because when you know how to do a split, I feel like you need to find at least two or three movies where you get to do that. And this is the only movie where she does it.

Matt (00:02:28):

Yeah, I don’t know. So all three of them underwent serious rigorous martial arts training

Laci (00:02:33):

For

Matt (00:02:34):

Three months.

Laci (00:02:35):

It shows, okay, mortal Kombat take a fucking lesson.

Matt (00:02:39):

Oh, mortal Kombat’s good too with the fighting

Laci (00:02:42):

The guy, the two guys are good with the fight. I’m talking Sonia. I’m talking about Sonia.

Matt (00:02:47):

Yeah, I mean she was hired one day before the movie started shooting.

Laci (00:02:50):

She didn’t wait, wasn’t it supposed to be Cameron Diaz? No,

Matt (00:02:53):

I think it was.

Laci (00:02:53):

Yeah,

Matt (00:02:54):

I think it was. Yeah,

Laci (00:02:55):

Good’s called and she’s fucking awesome. But Cameron Diaz did the Mask instead, which also Good Call, but

Matt (00:03:01):

I don’t know if she did the Mask instead. But the Mask was around the same time

Laci (00:03:04):

Was also a new production. That was the conflict.

Matt (00:03:06):

Okay.

Laci (00:03:07):

Why am I remembering this?

Matt (00:03:08):

Oh, well your memory’s impeccable, so yeah.

Laci (00:03:10):

Yeah, but I remembered sometimes I do it right, Matt, this

Matt (00:03:15):

Might be that time Charlie’s Angels, the movie that they had to delay post-production to make her eyes bluer.

Laci (00:03:21):

And

Matt (00:03:21):

I was like, what the fuck is Laci talking about? She’s going off on her crazy medicine again.

Laci (00:03:25):

I could tell you looked it up because you were so nice afterward. You’re like, I did not know that.

Matt (00:03:29):

No, I didn’t look it up until this morning. And there’s, that’s just a rumor and it’s with the sequel, not with this

Laci (00:03:35):

One, that

Matt (00:03:36):

They had to spend $200,000 in post-production to make her eyes bluer. My eyes are blue, but can they be bluer?

Laci (00:03:41):

I mean, they’re striking in this movie. That’s why I asked. They look otherworldly. So

Matt (00:03:47):

What are we talking about? We’re

Laci (00:03:48):

Talking about, oh, Charlie’s Angels.

Matt (00:03:49):

Charlie’s Angels 2000, what is this? This is Load Brain Beams a movie podcast. Laci and I are a married couple. We do a deep dive into a different movie every week, usually movies from our past that we’re nostalgic about, and now we’re going to take a critical and critical eye to chop this thing to pieces.

Laci (00:04:04):

And when you say usually we mean not usually anymore.

Matt (00:04:07):

Well, we’re not so precious about it anymore, but I would not call this a proper load load-bearing beam for me. But it is a movie I watched a lot at ages 12 and 13, and when I brought it up to Laci, she’s like, you’re a pervert little boy.

Laci (00:04:21):

I realize it’s not. I mean, it could be. It still could be.

Matt (00:04:23):

Yeah. But then I watched it and I was like, wait a minute, maybe Laci’s more right than I gave her credit for suddenly remembering things like Cameron Diaz in the Spider-Man underwear and Drew Barrymore hanging naked from the side of a building, and I’m like, that’s why I’m into naked ladies hanging from the side of a building in great peril. That’s why, that’s my thing.

Laci (00:04:41):

Why we always need our bedroom on the second story

Matt (00:04:43):

Just so it’s there in case you need to do it. So maybe you were more right than I thought. But that thing has always been like,

Laci (00:04:53):

It’s not as simple as that because it’s actually a good movie.

Matt (00:04:57):

Well, that was a surprise to me. I assumed we would just be making fun of this and I watched this, we watched this separately, it ended and I was like, that was a really fun action movie

Laci (00:05:06):

And you really set the tone for me just right, because you said this movie knows what it is and I’ve never seen Charlie’s Angels. That was a show, right? Yeah. Okay. But I could tell just from the way that they are handling each mission that, okay, Charlie’s Angels clearly was a show about impeccably dressed women who always have their hair way too perfect. Who always have the skill you need who love Charlie and

Speaker 3 (00:05:34):

Bosley

Laci (00:05:36):

The way that they’re playing these characters. I already understand the show. I think that’s a great way to handle ip. I mean, it’s one way to do it and if you’re going to really lean into it, do it right. They did it right. I’d say

Matt (00:05:50):

I didn’t get to watch a full episode of the show. I watched parts of one episode. The show was more serious than I thought it would be. It was more like a straightforward police procedural. It’s just put it stars ladies.

Laci (00:06:00):

That was what was in Vogue at the time. Right. Then you’ve also had Dallas, you had the one

Matt (00:06:05):

Dallas wasn’t police procedural.

Laci (00:06:07):

Yeah, but it was like a serious lawman show, wasn’t it? Not, I mean wasn’t Miami Pi, I mean Miami Vice, Miami Vice and then Magnum pi. I feel like all these things came out and they all take themselves seriously. They’re not comedies.

Matt (00:06:24):

Those were all in the eighties. I think that

Laci (00:06:26):

Is this the seventies?

Matt (00:06:27):

This is the seventies.

Laci (00:06:28):

They all kind of took themselves a little seriously didn’t also, the Mr T one kind of was serious about itself,

Matt (00:06:35):

The A team. I don’t know. I’ve never seen the A team.

Laci (00:06:38):

I feel like that was kind of the joke. It’s just like, no, we’re going to believe it. Mash, right? MASH is a comedy, but it’s definitely a dramedy and all these things are just they, no, this is important right now we’re talking about important shit. We’re doing things that are important.

Matt (00:06:51):

Mash is Arc was that it started as a comedy and then got annoyingly serious about issues,

Laci (00:06:57):

But I’m in the right timeframe. Right?

Matt (00:06:59):

Yeah, you are

Laci (00:07:00):

Right. I’m just guessing that Vietnam War must have had something to do with everybody being so serious.

Matt (00:07:05):

So I didn’t get to watch all of an episode of the show, but it was more serious. I mean, I wouldn’t say exactly like Baywatch because we watched that episode of Baywatch and realized the tone of Baywatch is, it’s campy, but it takes the job of Bay watching very seriously and the police procedural aspect of Charlie’s Angels is more serious than I anticipated, and maybe the movie is camping it up a little bit or is least is winking at how dumb it is that these hot babes are always impeccably dressed and get to do all this badass stuff and then continue to look amazing.

Laci (00:07:45):

Yeah, I mean it’s certainly doing that. I think it’s celebrating that they are legit bad asses while also poking a little fun that they also need to be hot while doing this.

Matt (00:07:54):

Of course, James Bond is also

Laci (00:07:57):

Impeccable looking

Matt (00:07:58):

And always impeccably dressed is never perturbed by anything, but definitely beauty standards. Sean Connery had a Potbelly and stuff and was old and back then when to be an action hero for a woman, you did have to be a hot woman in her twenties,

Laci (00:08:18):

And the thing I always point to is that the astronaut scientists on the ship and the original planet of the Apes looked like a model. Everyone else looks totally normal. She has a full face of makeup and her hair’s completely done fresh out the salon on her way to her death.

Matt (00:08:36):

Yeah, I know.

Laci (00:08:38):

Oh, and the the barbarian woman in Planet of the Apes also, oh my God, she’s mute. Yeah, but she’s Victoria’s secret level hot,

Matt (00:08:46):

Whereas Charlton Heston who is hot, but he’s hot in an unusual way. I mean, okay, I don’t know when it is that we reached perfect symmetry everywhere. We probably never did because I feel like we’ve swung in a bad direction where all men in action movies are jacked to the nines. They’re crazy hot. Even Zach Efron has to be roed up and we’ve lost interesting looking men.

Laci (00:09:14):

True.

Matt (00:09:14):

We’ve lost interesting looking character actors now instead of Danny DeVito playing the Penguin, you put Colin Farrell in a fat suit and makeup and he plays the penguin

Laci (00:09:22):

Where we never had interesting looking women,

Matt (00:09:26):

Whereas yeah, maybe we never did, and I think you’ve brought this up before, but as there’s been a conversation about diversity of body types and body positivity, I feel like that mostly focuses on women.

Laci (00:09:38):

No, you’re absolutely right. The dad bot is gone and it was just the standard and it was totally nice to look at. I even think of John Ham and Madman and even he seems a little bit too, they were trying to give him a little bit of some muscle identification, but it was pretty realistic. That show was very impeccable about being true to the time. Otherwise he would’ve. I’m saying even he was on the verge of not having the correct dad bod for the time.

Matt (00:10:04):

Right. This man who smokes three packs cigarettes a day is constantly downing scotch.

Laci (00:10:08):

All he does is lunch

Matt (00:10:09):

And

Laci (00:10:09):

Dinner

Matt (00:10:10):

And when he takes his shirt off, you’re like, you are a little bit overweight. He

Laci (00:10:13):

And he should be because he’s a man of stature. He has money and he’s good looking in the face. That’s all you would’ve needed then You don’t also need to be super slender and look good in a bathing suit.

Matt (00:10:23):

So I don’t know. I’m sure we never actually reached a point and everything’s gone. There was a Charlie’s Angels remake in 2019 that wanted to respond to Charlie’s Angels 2000 where it’s like we need to talk about how problematic Charlie’s Angels 2000 is, and I tried to watch the 2019 version and felt like this is just as cynical, but in the opposite direction, in the corporate approved way you can be feminist that was in vogue in 2019 and now has swung back in a terrible direction where we’re like, no, we’re going all the way back to the 1840s.

Laci (00:11:01):

We’re not even going to be cynical about it anymore. We’re not throwing out the illusion that we were ever going to actually address anything, even though we never really were. We’re just going to make Girl Boss, Hey, you girlfriend rule the world doing it.

Matt (00:11:14):

I didn’t want to say Girl Boss. I feel like I’ve said it too much, but I didn’t. That is what that movie is and you can feel the movie like condescending to you about, there’s a montage of just girls throughout history doing badass stuff,

Laci (00:11:27):

But also condescending to the ladies who did Charlie’s, is it 2000?

Matt (00:11:32):

Yeah.

Laci (00:11:34):

They are ladies of their time and they fucking trained in martial arts for three months. They look amazing at it. I was so impressed with Cameron Diaz, who in a physical way doesn’t usually impress me, but I’m like, okay, your dancing’s funny. Your martial arts are totally believable here. Drew Barrymore, but mean, I feel the work they put in it looks like they’re doing their own stunts

Matt (00:11:57):

And they’re not always, but they’re doing some real fighting. Lucy Lu is so important to this movie. She brings legitimacy as a fighter.

Laci (00:12:06):

I don’t know where, I’m not watching the right things, but where is she? I could use her in a lot of stuff.

Matt (00:12:10):

Oh, she’s in a lot of stuff. But yeah, she didn’t become a huge movie star.

Laci (00:12:14):

She’s like a network person where all the women go to die.

Matt (00:12:16):

Yeah, she was on a TV show called Elementary for a long time, so she’s probably just immensely rich, but she’s, she’s always been, she’s an artist. She was just in something. She’s also funny. She’s funny. She was in an episode of Futurama that I’ve seen a million times where she plays herself as a robot in the future and she’s hilarious in it. So yeah, in a way this movie is way less dated than the 2019 movie. It’d be interesting for me and you to watch the 2019 movie and try to make sense of it, but we don’t have time. We have no time to do any of the things we say we’re going to do, but we keep putting out episodes every week. Here we are. So yeah, this movie was fun. I was surprised I expected it to be trash.

Laci (00:12:53):

I did too,

Matt (00:12:54):

And it is trash, but in the best way.

Laci (00:12:57):

It knows it’s trash. It’s trash that put in the time, and it’s maybe the first time you picked out an eye candy movie. If I had watched this and I didn’t theaters and if I hadn’t been with a bunch of guys who are just all ogling and like, oh, this unfortunately got lumped into this impossible beauty standard that I was never going to feel like I looked like any of these ladies and it turned me off from the movie, but if I’d watched it alone, I think I really would’ve enjoyed how capable these women are and how funny, I really wasn’t primed to think of Cameron Diaz as funny too. She is one of those ones who bothered me that she also wanted to be comedic. You are the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen and now you also want to be thought of as funny. Fuck you back up. That’s my thing. It’s literally all that I have. And so I felt very territorial over women who thought they were also funny, but didn’t come from an SNL. Totally embarrassed the fuck out of yourself. Like no ego background. I mean there’s always ego, but you know what I mean? She’s impeccable and she’s in all these comedic roles and it annoyed

Matt (00:14:02):

Me. Yeah, it is primarily comedies that she,

Laci (00:14:06):

Yeah, because she’s funny

Matt (00:14:07):

Came up in and when you were telling me that, she always annoyed you said that it was probably just because of my Best Friend’s wedding.

Laci (00:14:15):

It’s part of it

Matt (00:14:16):

In which she is great, and we nominated her for an Oscar when we covered that movie earlier this year.

Laci (00:14:20):

She was fantastic. And the framing of that movie is all about look at how flawless look at her, but she’s got this goofy, nerdy, and when you look at any Cameron Diaz’s role, she puts that into every character. I think that really is her. She really is kind of a goofball and probably that giant big smile on a smaller kid probably really off-putting. So I’m sure she comes to her comedy earnestly. We all do out of the need to survive. So when I think about it as unearned for her, I’m sure it just is earned. I’m just seeing the end result doesn’t mean she always had it or that she ever had it so easy.

Matt (00:15:01):

That was the thing that we watched it separately. I told you it’s actually pretty good. I don’t, I am worried you might react to it with, when we watch stuff from this era, you will talk about how you felt at the time about the impossible standards for women, both in how they look and how they act, the sort of attitude you were supposed to have, and I thought maybe you would feel that in this movie,

Laci (00:15:25):

But I don’t blame those actors. That is what we had to work with. But there are certain mentalities and there are certain stereotypes that were hard to watch. If that’s all I was given, this feels like a movie that is pretending to be for the male gaze but is being represented from the female’s point of view. And I am wondering if there are women involved in the production in the directing of this. I don’t actually know, but I think they gave these three a voice if nothing else.

Matt (00:15:55):

Drew Barrymore was the main producer of the movie and I feel it. She hired Mick G because she wanted his dumb ass music video aesthetic wanted his male, he his son

Laci (00:16:05):

Fucking of fucking Tom. Goddamn.

Matt (00:16:07):

No, she was married to Tom Green.

Laci (00:16:09):

Oh my God, I forgot about that.

Matt (00:16:10):

Yeah. Oh my

Laci (00:16:12):

God, I forgot Drew you crazy little thing. I want to hear all about that jar. Well, anyway, so see, I felt it right when it’s something like an American pie that the women are for the boys to go look at and the men to look at and to be So one note and I am going to rewatch American Pie soon and see if I still feel that way. I still love that movie. You see a fucking preview of Charlie’s Angels and you’re like, well, here we go. Just one more, just one more way we can ale women and never live up to these standards, but that’s not what this movie is.

Matt (00:16:48):

I think that’s what it exists in people’s memory as

Laci (00:16:50):

Yes, and they just haven’t watched it.

Matt (00:16:54):

But I think that you’ll be surprised in American Pie how fully formed the women characters are too and how they also have their own desires.

Laci (00:17:00):

And I’m probably lumping you because American Pie was a tent pole movie. I don’t know if I’m using that term right, but it created a bunch of wannabees. It was just the same way Superbad was in the same way, I want to say anchorman. Yeah. It created a genre. So I’m probably unfortunately just lumping it in.

Matt (00:17:22):

I mean, I remember Natasha Leone is has her scenes with Tara Reed telling her Your boyfriend needs to be giving you orgasms and stuff. The women do have their own parallel story,

Laci (00:17:33):

But do you only talk about their boyfriends?

Matt (00:17:35):

But the boyfriends only talk about their girlfriends.

Laci (00:17:37):

I don’t think that that makes it equal. I just think that makes it, the boys are being brung down to high school level boy problems. Right? It’s like whenever it’s all about girls, the boys are in high school, they’re just so immature, but then girls graduate to college. It’s still what they’re talking about. They go to their fucking career. It’s still what they’re talking about. It’s just high school movies are what boys talk about is what girls are in high school. Boys talk about girls is what I’m trying to say it. So it’s not like the women are being brought up that boys are being brought down.

Matt (00:18:08):

I think they’re being, this isn’t about American pie, this is not about, they’re clearly just more mature and smarter than their boy counterparts, but they are all just talking about, but that is teenagers also. I just watched The Little Mermaid just because I’m a

Laci (00:18:22):

Talk about teens

Matt (00:18:24):

And I think people critique that movie for Ariel being so falls in love with a man just by looking at him and gives up her whole life. But it makes sense. If you recall, she’s a teenager that she’s driven mad by hormones 16 and has been repressed her whole life and now

Laci (00:18:39):

She lives in a shell.

Matt (00:18:41):

And all teenagers would make insane decisions based on hormonal whims.

Laci (00:18:45):

Water is a beautiful metaphor for feeling suffocated and boxed in limited.

Matt (00:18:51):

So Charlie’s angels, okay, let’s talk about the history of Charlie’s Angels. In 1974, there was a police procedural TV show called Police Woman. I love that. Just policewoman.

Laci (00:19:25):

They predicted that we’d all be changing terms

Matt (00:19:28):

And if you think that boy TV was so basic back then, now there’s a huge show on n BBC called FBI Woman and now just FBI and soon it’s going to get its spinoff BIIA. So we’re just agencies. It was the first hour long primetime police drama with a female lead and it was a,

Laci (00:19:49):

Who was the lead?

Matt (00:19:50):

Angie Dickinson. It was a ratings and critical success, and on the heels of this success, a trend of women in the leads of traditionally male genres began. Thus Charlie’s Angels, thus the birth of jiggle television in which women run around without brass Laci’s worst nightmare

Laci (00:20:09):

Mother fucking hell with the veneer and the fucking Trojan horse of women empowerment. It’s a way to find a way to just subjugate us in a different way while we’re feeling so empowered while we do it. Burn those bras. Cha cha cha.

Matt (00:20:25):

You don’t think it was women deciding to burn their bras?

Laci (00:20:27):

I love a bra. It wasn’t anyone like me. It wasn’t anyone with sensory issues. It wasn’t anybody with body fucking dysmorphia. We put on five bars.

Matt (00:20:37):

Okay, nothing can be everything for everybody.

Laci (00:20:39):

All the things are mine and there’re forever.

Matt (00:20:41):

Alright. It’s a jiggle television. Charlie’s Angels produced by super producer Aaron Spelling, who also made jiggle television shows like The Love Boat in Fantasy Island

Laci (00:20:51):

And 9 0 2 1 oh and Melrose Place,

Matt (00:20:53):

His daughter was on. Did he produce those?

Laci (00:20:55):

Yes. Yes he

Matt (00:20:56):

Did. Okay. And his daughter, Tori Spelling was on. How

Laci (00:20:57):

Else would she get apart?

Matt (00:20:58):

This is a total blind spot for me. I had to know nothing about,

Laci (00:21:01):

I’m sorry. There’s probably Tori spelling heads out there. I’m probably being a total asshole about that. It’s nepotism at its worst because she’s also just a horseshit actress. So she was the big sore thumb in 9 0 2 1. Oh,

Matt (00:21:14):

Is she the one who there’s always Yes. I think there was a joke and scream about a bad actress from

Laci (00:21:20):

Yeah,

Matt (00:21:20):

I don’t

Laci (00:21:21):

She known.

Matt (00:21:22):

I don’t think it was being Tory. I don’t remember it being Tory spelling. I thought it was somebody else.

Laci (00:21:25):

You could Google it.

Matt (00:21:26):

Okay, I see you as a young Meg, Ryan, myself. Thanks Dewey. With my luck cast to

Laci (00:21:31):

Spelling, I’m looking at the original angels here. Who’s the one in the middle? Not the one in the middle of the blonde, but I mean, if you were going totem pole middle,

Matt (00:21:39):

We got Kate Jackson, Jacqueline Smith, and Farrah Fall.

Laci (00:21:42):

You’re still not answering my

Matt (00:21:43):

Question. Don’t ask me that question. I don’t know.

Laci (00:21:45):

Just the one with the boos out is smoking hot?

Matt (00:21:48):

Okay, hold

Laci (00:21:48):

On. Farrah Fossa doesn’t do it for me.

Matt (00:21:49):

Jesus. Hold on. Okay, so then this one is Jacqueline Smith.

Laci (00:21:52):

Okay, I’ll take it. I’ll allow it. Were there any cameos in the, okay,

Matt (00:21:58):

Not this one. Jacqueline Smith doesn’t make a cameo in the sequel

Laci (00:22:02):

Way to right the wrongs.

Matt (00:22:04):

Farrah Faucet later said when the show was number three, I figured it was our acting, but when it got to number one, I decided it could only be because none of us wears a brawl. The original TV series created by Ivan Goff and Ben Roberts, produced by Aaron Spelling. It aired from 1976 to 1981 over five seasons. Charlie played offscreen by actor John Forsyth, also the voice of Charlie in the film. The film is technically in the continuity of the TV series. Bosley was portrayed by David Doyle. You might know David Doyle as the voice of the grandpa from the Rugrats

Laci (00:22:38):

Boy. Do I?

Matt (00:22:40):

Some do. Some do. Remember we recorded an episode about Rugrats the movie and then didn’t ever release it. We were miserable and you hated it sounds

Laci (00:22:51):

Right.

Matt (00:22:52):

One of the best known features of the show is a series of highly publicized casting changes. First season had the leads of Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson and Jacqueline Smith, and Jacqueline Smith would be the only one to remain on the show throughout its run. Farrah Fawcett left at the end of season one.

Laci (00:23:07):

I really connect Farrah Fawcett to, that’s who I think of. Did she go on to do something else that’s iconic that everyone thinks of really one?

Matt (00:23:15):

Well, I think

Laci (00:23:16):

Run of one show.

Matt (00:23:17):

I think that she is one of those people like Shelly Long who’s like, well, I’m leaving for bigger and better things and then it just never materializes and probably just due to bad, you picked the wrong projects. And I think that her career was probably also ruined because she feuded with Erin Spelling and a BC got in a contract dispute with them and so didn’t return for season two was replaced with Cheryl Lad, who played her sister on the show.

Laci (00:23:42):

Your dad’s favorite

Matt (00:23:43):

Cheryl Lad is my dad’s go-to of a fine looking woman and my dad like me is not someone who’s like, oh, I love those hotties.

Laci (00:23:52):

Yeah, I know. Not at all.

Matt (00:23:53):

But that’s the one he will always go to is like she is prettier than Cheryl Ladd.

Laci (00:23:57):

That’s a handsome gal.

Matt (00:24:00):

Let’s see, Kate Jackson left after season three. She had been offered the role in Kramer versus Kramer that ultimately went to Meryl Streep, but the show and the producers didn’t give her permission to take that role, so it went to Meryl Streep who won an Oscar and became a star,

Laci (00:24:14):

Would’ve been a real boner killer to those jiggles.

Matt (00:24:17):

That’s

Laci (00:24:17):

What you’re saying. They didn’t let her do that because it would’ve changed the framing around what this woman is.

Matt (00:24:24):

So she was very unhappy as a result of this and then got a reputation for being difficult.

Laci (00:24:30):

Oh my God. These poor women, these poor fucking women,

Matt (00:24:33):

Which just means like, Hey, I wanted to film a movie and they wouldn’t. Oh, she’s so difficult. Oh, don’t hire

Laci (00:24:37):

Her. She’s in a mood. Her fucking hereditary. Nope, her hysteria.

Matt (00:24:44):

Yeah, she’s in hysterics.

Laci (00:24:45):

Well, her womb is wandering clearly. She’s wandering womb.

Matt (00:24:50):

Alright. A movie is in development in the late nineties because Aaron Spelling is working on developing all his old TV shows into movies, not just Charlie’s Angels, but also Fantasy Island and the Mod Squad. And so this is in development at Sony Pictures. Sony Pictures, CEO. John Kelly said his number one priority was building franchises. Just a reminder, nothing ever changes ever. There’s this variety article from 1998 that talks about Sony’s difficulty getting franchises off the ground. It’s having trouble making sequel to men in black Bad Boys, and Hey, Jumanji,

Laci (00:25:23):

All those things happen,

Matt (00:25:25):

Which we covered a few weeks

Laci (00:25:26):

Ago. My crystal ball, don’t worry.

Matt (00:25:28):

Charlie’s Angels, that’ll be a great new franchise for us to get off the ground. So Drew Barrymore, who had just launched her production company, flower Films. Of course, it’s called Flower Films.

Laci (00:25:39):

Why? Of course, Matt,

Matt (00:25:40):

Why? Course? She’s both like a flower. Oh, I love the flowers. I’m a little hippie child, but also I’m a punk

Laci (00:25:46):

Rocker. Go away, Matt.

Matt (00:25:48):

What? What’s wrong with that?

Laci (00:25:49):

Go away, Matt. Get off my Drew Barrymore. You

Matt (00:25:52):

Take

Laci (00:25:52):

Pretty No,

Matt (00:25:53):

I got no problem with Drew Barrymore except the thing where she sc

Laci (00:25:56):

Scabs.

Matt (00:25:56):

You have fucking scab during the rider’s strike.

Laci (00:25:59):

Didn’t know

Matt (00:25:59):

That had all the replace her entire, because she’s a daytime host now.

Laci (00:26:04):

No.

Matt (00:26:05):

Yeah. So during the Sag Astra and Rider strikes two years ago, she, she’s like, yeah, I’m tired of my show being off the air. I’m just going to hire a bunch of scabs and bring it back. That’s bad. So yeah, flower Films is launching and she gets very excited about Charlie’s Angel. So she goes in and pitches her version of the movie. Now my source here is L Magazine in 2016, and she said, quote, we had just done Never Been Kissed. And Nancy, Nancy is her producing partner was like, dude, she doesn’t talk like that very often, so it’s very weird. She’s like, they’re making Charlie’s Angels over at Sony. We’ve got to get in there. And I was like, okay. We went in and it was a big movie for them at the time. They had a lot of high hopes that it could be a big budget franchisee type movie.

(00:26:46):

And once again, here were Nan and I in our jansport backpacks. This was the era of the power suit woman, and we looked like an anomaly to all the other women who were trying to make it in Hollywood in their pin stripes, skirt suits. All they really had at that point was a concept. So we told them what we would want to do, how we would want to cast it, how we would see the world handpicked the director on and on and on, and we got to make the movie and it was just the most fun thing in the world. I put together a reel of films smashed up, and I had to do it VCR to VCR.

Speaker 4 (00:27:14):

So

Matt (00:27:14):

I hooked up two VCRs together, and again, I’m a girl and I’m a Pisces. This is just a disaster. It was like chords everywhere. Drew, same. I did that in high school a lot too.

Laci (00:27:24):

You Pisces.

Matt (00:27:26):

But I pulled about 200 different films from my personal library that I thought had scenes in them that could show the studio what kind of tone I saw for this film.

Laci (00:27:34):

That’s cool.

Matt (00:27:35):

That is cool. Yes. Plus I used to do that too. So I identify, finally I identify with somebody,

Laci (00:27:40):

Flower Matt over here.

Matt (00:27:42):

But then as the 2019 reboot of Charlie’s Angels was coming out, there were think pieces that were like, we need to talk about Charlie’s Angels 2000 and how problematic it is. This is from Vanity Fair by Ashley Spencer, quote, but for all of its why 2K Girl Power messaging Charlie’s Angels is still a movie made mostly by men with a male audience in mind, depending on how you look at it, it shows a house scape in which women are expected to look endlessly desirable, whether licking a steering wheel, steering wheel while rearing a race car, tracksuit cut down to the navel or bopping around in Spider-Man underwear and telling a delivery man to stick it in your slot. Or it champions a post-feminist dream world where liberated women don’t have to sacrifice their sexuality or blowouts to save the day.

Laci (00:28:25):

They are using what they have. They’re using those, they’re using the weaknesses of men against men. It’s not stupid to do that.

Matt (00:28:34):

Yeah, and I mean the movie, it gets to have it both. It gets

Laci (00:28:37):

To

Matt (00:28:37):

Have its cake and eat it too. It is very sexy when Lucy Lou just licks the steering wheel.

Laci (00:28:41):

Lucy Lew does not do that. Drew Barrymore

Matt (00:28:43):

Does. Oh, that’s Drew Barrymore. Okay.

Laci (00:28:45):

They look a little different, but yeah, you just don’t see it.

Matt (00:28:48):

I don’t even see women. But yes, also, there’s always story reasons for them to be doing these things, and the whole point of it is, we’re going to be invisible. You’re not going to see us because you’re not going to take it seriously. You just see Sexy Ladies.

(00:29:04):

That article went on to be like, but it’s also like these girls are obsessed with, or Cameron Diaz and specifically is obsessed with going on a date with Luke Wilson. And here’s what Drew Barrymore said about that in 2016. Look, I’m sorry, girls want love. At the end of the day, we want sisterhood, we want to have each other’s backs, and then we want to meet back up in the morning and talk all about what happened at night with the boy. It’s what girls do. I was like, there has to be an element of relationship. So that’s why I taped this scene from foul play and it was just very true to what a girl likes and feels. What if that girl also loved her girlfriends and was a real sister and they had each other’s backs and they were kick ass and they love to laugh because a girl without a sense of humor, oof.

Laci (00:29:41):

I’m with her. I mean, I think it’s nice because, well, it was par for the course at the time, but also what you see is a woman that keeps putting off the relationship for her priority. She has a very demanding job. She has a high paying job. She has a job that is important. She doesn’t tell him about it, she puts him on hold. She has to leave the first date she reports to, I feel like it’s Cameron Diaz putting her priorities in the right order. And they already discussed in the scene before or a couple scenes before, how hard it is to have a relationship in a job where you’re not allowed to say what it is that you do.

Matt (00:30:16):

Yeah. And you’re also seeing that with Lucy Lu’s character with

Laci (00:30:18):

Well, that’s who starts the conversation

Matt (00:30:20):

With Matt LeBlanc. But it does make me realize in Mission Impossible three, Tom Cruise is getting married to Michelle Monaghan. Yeah, I guess you never do see a spy movie where the spy, the male spy is just casually dating a woman and well, I can think of examples, but it’s a fun idea of trying to do these things at the same time and it’s not intersecting with your work life. It’s happening parallel to it. You

Laci (00:30:52):

Have to find time for it when you have the most time consuming job you could think of. Drop everything you’re doing and go do this thing. And they more than once make not a joke. Totally. But they use this, oh, I don’t know, I’m just a girl. Oh, can someone help me? They all, they deploy that because it is so effective because it is what men and people already think of women is that they don’t know. So when Lucy Lu in the very beginning slips up and uses some of her knowledge, that then makes Matt LeBlanc, huh? Do you sure do know a lot about for Bikini Waxer? And then she turns around and she goes, can I just look at the internet? And it’s a shame because a male spy knowing things and saying things in a relationship where he is not allowed to say what he does, no one’s questioning it. Oh, you’re just smart. You just know stuff. You must’ve been around the block, but a woman that knows about a bomb, I looked at the internet on accident, so I bet it is harder to get to show off the things you’ve worked so hard for without giving away what it is that you do.

Matt (00:31:59):

Yeah. It’s threatening if a woman is funny or if a woman plays guitar. I don’t know any of these things. That’s my thing, not me. Yeah, but I mean certainly you’ve talked about being a funny person, being the funny girl, be your identity and that being an issue for men. You dated

Laci (00:32:21):

In every relationship. It always comes up the talk in the car after I had made too many jokes. Do you think that one was not professional? Do you think that was appropriate? Do you know what guys think of you when you say stuff like that? Or God forbid they’re the butt of my joke, which is most of the time then that’s what the conversation is about. But anyway, always just generally feeling punished for being smarter than the guy I was with.

Matt (00:32:45):

I never have that talk with Laci. I just edit that stuff out of the podcast when she says it. Exactly. Laci’s being too funny in this episode.

Laci (00:32:53):

He’s really cutting my dick off at the knees.

Matt (00:32:56):

Kevin d has signed onto the movie for $12 million. This was a very big salary for her. And even before a director was hired, presumably she also received top billing and she’s the sinner in all the marketing, even though the movie does a good job bouncing the three. But Drew Barrymore’s the lead.

Laci (00:33:13):

She’s got the story for sure, but I mean physically, Cameron Diaz is in the middle, but I guess that’s because Farrah Foss, it would’ve been, and she’s got the height on the two of them, so just they’re very symmetrically posed all the time.

Matt (00:33:24):

Right. But the billing is Cameron Diaz D comes before B then Drew Barry more than Lucy Lou, you would think you’d just go straight alphabetical if this is,

Laci (00:33:34):

What was Cameron Diaz coming off of right here? Had she done something? Mary,

Matt (00:33:37):

My Best Friend’s wedding. There’s something about Mary. Yeah, huge star. Vanilla Sky would be the next, no, same year as this being John Malkovich. Yeah, she’s huge. But for the third Angel, who will be the third angel, Angelina Jolie was rumored. Ultimately Tandiwe Newton was cast, but then she had to drop out due to scheduling conflicts.

Laci (00:33:58):

Dunno who that is.

Matt (00:34:00):

Yeah, you do. From fricking Westworld and Mission Impossible two,

Laci (00:34:06):

I do know who that is.

Matt (00:34:08):

Lucy Lu was cast, they trained three for three months. They trained for about five days a week, eight hours a day with the celebrated Hong Kong fight choreographer Yin Chong Yan. And as the director, they hire Mick g. Drew Barrymore personally hires him, Mick, GAKA, Joseph McGinty. Nichol started as a music producer, produced Sugar Rays first album. Vin directed a music video for them leading to him being a prolific and celebrated music video director directed a bunch of videos for Korn Smash Mouse All-Star and Pretty Fly for a White Guy by The Offspring. And then he would later go on to direct the Charlie’s Angel sequel. He directed, we are Marshall Terminator Salvation. That’s the movie where Christian Bale yelled at that DP and then said, yo Mac, gee, what do you think about this? And recently he just directs for Netflix. He directs the babysitter movies. I

Laci (00:34:56):

Really like the babysitter movies

Matt (00:34:58):

On the commentary track of Charlie’s Angels. He said they wanted to make the champagne of movies that exploded into the pleasure center of the audience’s brain on the press tour. He said, I’m like this knucklehead from Kalamazoo, Michigan, and I never got any girls growing up. And then I find myself looking over my shoulder and Cameron Diaz is there in a bikini and Drew Barrymore is in a little Swiss miss costume, and Lucy Lewis has got this leather dominatrix thing. It’s unbelievable. And quote MCee and Bill Murray Feuded on the set,

Laci (00:35:26):

But doesn’t Bill Murray food with most

Matt (00:35:28):

Bill Murray. He’s difficult and that’s accurate.

Laci (00:35:32):

Yes, he probably does not suffer fools and he probably thinks most people are fools. And I would, someone named fucking Macg would already be under his skin and is Macg not this guy in this hat because that’s all I’m picturing,

Matt (00:35:44):

The

Laci (00:35:44):

Pretty fly for the white guy. She’s guy

Matt (00:35:46):

Who just reunited with the offspring for a live performance of that song. How about that?

Laci (00:35:50):

That’s sweet. Still white after all these years

Matt (00:35:53):

In 2009. So MG said that Bill Murray literally headbutted Mc g on the set of this movie. Bill Murray did not come back for the sequel. Bernie Mack played Bosley in the sequel. So Bill Murray in 2009 responded to the claims that he had headbutted MG by saying quote, that’s bullshit. That’s complete crap. I don’t know why he made that story up. He has a very active imagination. No, he deserves to die. He should be pierced with a lance, not Headbutted.

Laci (00:36:23):

I got the kind of sense in watching different parts with him where I think Bill Murray’s character was meant to, or Bill Murray, the actor was meant to just do a few takes kind of riff and go through what he thinks would be a funny reaction to what he’s doing, especially when he’s alone in the jail cell particularly. And it’s like he just didn’t want to do it because they have to come. The blooper world, which I didn’t get to finish unfortunately, and he’s in there once or twice. It’s like they dug deep for a couple little wacky things Bill did that weren’t already in the movie. It’s like they used every little ounce he was willing to give because I think he wasn’t into it. He didn’t seem into

Matt (00:37:04):

It. Yeah. No joy. You said he doesn’t suffer fools. I think if he likes the director, he’ll give you effort. If he doesn’t, he will be totally checked out. Wes Anderson had brought him back and reinvigorated his career at this point, so he’s probably like, I’m in legit stuff. I don’t need to be in this. The movie made 265 million worldwide on a budget of 93 million. The reviews were bad. Roger Ebert gave the movie Half a Star out of four. What he said, Charlie’s Angels is eye candy for the Blind. It’s a movie without a brain in its three pretty little heads,

(00:37:38):

Which belong to Cameron Diaz, drew Barrymore and Lucy Lou. This movie is a dead zone in their lives and mine, what is it? A satire of what? Of Satires. I guess it makes fun of movies that want to make fun of movies like this. It’s an all girl series of mindless action scenes. Its Basic Shot consists of Natalie, Dylan and Alex The Angels running desperately toward the camera before a huge explosion. Lifts them off their feet and hurls them through the air and smashes them against windshields and things, but they survive with injuries only to their makeup and

Laci (00:38:06):

Endless action. Does that sound like something I would like? No. They set up impossible scenarios and they’re like, that sounds like fun. And then they go do it in a fucking interesting way. They have interesting things to look at. They think through these things. I don’t care about the car chase part, but besides that,

Matt (00:38:24):

No. I think it’s about the joy of getting to do an action movie, but with women.

Laci (00:38:29):

Yes,

Matt (00:38:30):

And for it to the action to be serious action. I mean, not that serious, but the, it’s a passable big budget action movie and these people hold their own in it

Laci (00:38:41):

And

Matt (00:38:41):

It’s a lot of fun. It’s just about fun. Shut up Roger Ber. Yeah.

Laci (00:38:44):

Fuck God. Have some fun. Was he sitting on a Lego the whole time? Fucking asshole. Cranky. Fuck.

Matt (00:38:49):

And if he’s so smart, why is he dead? A sequel was Green Lit, released in 2003. That’s when the I thing with Camera Diaz happened. I have never seen the sequel. The sequel got terrible reviews, did worse at the Box office, but still it made $260 million worldwide. Sequels have gotten made a green lit off of much less successful movies, but that was it. They never got a third

Speaker 3 (00:39:10):

Movie,

Matt (00:39:11):

But they did a remake series on a B, C that was canceled after four episodes in 2011. And then the reboot movie directed by Elizabeth Banks starring Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott and Ella Baska and Patrick Stewart as Bosley. And it’s technically in continuity with these earlier movies in Drew Barrymore was a, you’ve

Laci (00:39:28):

Seen it. You said you tried to watch it. I

Matt (00:39:29):

Tried to watch it. I turned it wasn’t that good. The action was good.

Laci (00:39:33):

Okay. I’m sure Kristen Stewart would be interesting to watch. I don’t know these other two.

Matt (00:39:37):

You know the one from Smile too?

Laci (00:39:39):

Ah, yep.

Matt (00:39:41):

She was good in Smile too.

Laci (00:39:42):

She was,

Matt (00:39:42):

What’s her name? Fucking Naomi Scott. That’s her name. And I think Elizabeth Banks is a good, actually pretty good action director. But I think that movie,

Laci (00:39:51):

No, Elizabeth Banks as in Elizabeth Banks. Huh?

Matt (00:39:53):

Actress. The actress.

Laci (00:39:54):

The actress.

Matt (00:39:55):

She’s also a director. I

Laci (00:39:56):

Did not know.

Matt (00:39:57):

And that movie did really, really bad. It made 18 million at the Bucks Office

Laci (00:40:02):

Domestic. What did they make it for?

Matt (00:40:03):

Like 70.

Laci (00:40:05):

Yikes.

Matt (00:40:06):

Yeah.

Laci (00:40:07):

What happens when that happens when you’re upside down like that? Who?

Matt (00:40:11):

Well, you got to think of the really poor CEOs and executives who have

Laci (00:40:14):

To take up Well, I mean, because I would hope the actors and staff and everybody get paid first.

Matt (00:40:20):

Well, yeah, you get paid. That’s what the budget is, is it pays for the movie, including the

Laci (00:40:24):

Right, if you want to make anything for the movie,

Matt (00:40:27):

You got to go to make a profit. You got to go make all that money back. And then, so

Laci (00:40:32):

I’m getting it now. Now you get it.

Matt (00:40:35):

Now you get it.

(00:40:36):

Sorry. I guess I just wanted to read this quote from Elizabeth Banks in 2022. She was talking about the box office failure and she blamed the marketing. And I remember this, I remember the discourse about this movie was like, oh, they’re making a feminist. Charlie’s Angels come on. And the gist of this quote is that she’s like, I resented that. That’s how it was being positioned. I wish I could make a mission impossible movie, but women don’t get to direct Mission Impossible movies. They have to direct Charlie’s Angels. And then because it’s Charlie’s Angels, it has to be commenting on the history and the baggage of Charlie’s Angels. It was an interesting quote.

Laci (00:41:13):

Yeah. Because you would think that it’s from the inside of the production that tells you what the goal is. But I guess the residual feeling about the movie and even the initial feeling about the movie was just based on what people thought Elizabeth Banks was trying to do and say

Matt (00:41:28):

Yes. And in how, without

Laci (00:41:29):

Asking her

Matt (00:41:30):

And in how it was marketed. I mean, even this poster, which has two of them holding hands, even that suggests to you Yeah, girlhood sister, which is that is what the movie is. But I think people,

Laci (00:41:43):

And if you’d watch the original movie, that was something I just love the whole time. They love each other and not in a cheesy way. They laugh. They’re clearly care about each other. They care about Bosley. It’s just nice. They’re just nice little, it’s just nice. It’s nice. What you’re looking at the Charlie’s Angels poster from the remake or another remake though, old Little Morrison one. What’s the big giant V behind them? What does it even mean? It’s not C or a.

Matt (00:42:12):

Is that an upside down? A

Laci (00:42:13):

They’re against atheism. I’m never watching it. Alright.

Matt (00:42:17):

I guess so. Well, that’s the history of Charlie’s Angels. We want to get into the movie now.

Laci (00:42:21):

It’s like a V like for Vagina

Matt (00:42:23):

For Valkyries. That’s what they are. Oh,

Laci (00:42:27):

Those fly.

Matt (00:43:00):

So this movie opens. Now listen, I like this movie, but it teased the fuck out of me by opening with this little high hat symbols. I was like, wait a minute, is that blind by corn?

Laci (00:43:11):

It was. And it is, but they don’t go throw what anywhere with it. I know they end it as soon as they go on the plane, but they do pick it up later,

Matt (00:43:17):

Way later. But I was like, oh my

Laci (00:43:19):

God. I’m like, oh fuck. Are you like, how do you skip the, are you ready? What’s what You jump out of the airplane for, you leave it when you’re outside, you get in the airplane, you do your business. Bitch jumps out the window. Are

Speaker 3 (00:43:29):

You

Laci (00:43:31):

When you fucking do it?

Matt (00:43:33):

They didn’t even get to,

Laci (00:43:35):

It was tingling.

Matt (00:43:38):

Then he gets into the plane. MCee, the one thing I think everybody knows about him is he hates flying. He will not fly. He’s made the movie. We Are Marshall about a plane crash that killed a whole football team as a warning. Don’t be in the planes.

Laci (00:43:49):

So he’s fuck the guy that made the shining quick. Stanley Cooper, everyone has to go to Michigan to go make a movie with MCee. Where the fuck he’s from Kalamazoo?

Matt (00:44:01):

Yeah. No, he took a boat to Australia to film a term remainder

Laci (00:44:04):

Salvation. I’ll be there in three months.

Matt (00:44:05):

Stanley Kubrick is afraid of flying. Not because he thinks flying is dangerous. He’s afraid like the CIA is going to shoot him down. That’s his, I think he actually was paranoid that the government was after him. That’s why you always had to film in London. Even when you’re filming Vietnam scenes, we’re going to recreate Vietnam.

Laci (00:44:21):

Use your imagination. People.

Matt (00:44:23):

Yeah. So they tease you with Blind. But then we go into the airplane and this airplane’s got, there’s all kinds of colorful characters running around, and we eventually follow an African-American gentleman in African garb and then realize it’s LL Cool J. What’s he doing here? And then he sits next to him to

Laci (00:44:44):

The tiny Steve bmi.

Matt (00:44:46):

Who is this guy? I know this guy. Steve’s

Laci (00:44:48):

Got to be Steve bmi. Who else looks like this? That’s

Matt (00:44:50):

Not Steve bmi. That’s somebody though.

Laci (00:44:51):

Look him up.

Matt (00:44:53):

I think. Isn’t there a thing where one of the Yeah, yeah, yeah. The flight attendant’s like, excuse me, sir, you can’t be going up here into first class.

Laci (00:45:00):

This is her first class and he looks him up and down. He’s like, oh, I believe I am. And get him

Matt (00:45:05):

My ticket. Yeah. So he’s like, oh, okay. But then LL Cool J sits down and talks to the guy next to him and he’s like, Hey, fellow terrorist, are we ready to do terrorism? Yes, we are. And

Laci (00:45:16):

Pulls out a plug. Here’s the Blood Diamonds, here’s the vest on

Matt (00:45:18):

Me. And this is a year before nine 11, so Oh, and on tv. On tv. It’s playing TJ Hooker, the movie. And then Ella Cool. J says to the guy next to him, he’s like, huh, another movie from an old TV show.

Laci (00:45:32):

God tour spelling joke. Ha ha.

Matt (00:45:35):

Which

Laci (00:45:35):

Not tour spelling. Aaron Spelling, sorry. You could just hear Aaron spelling Go Make sure this joke gets in there. Then they’ll know. I know I’m being dumb.

Matt (00:45:43):

I think they all have to do that. We just watched 21 jump sheet and that also has that joke.

Laci (00:45:47):

Just have the confidence to

Matt (00:45:48):

Just

Laci (00:45:48):

Let it be.

Matt (00:45:49):

You don’t need to acknowledge that El Cool. J grabs the other guy and jumps out of the escape hatch with him, and then a lady jumps out of a nearby helicopter detaches the bomb, and they’re just kind of a cool parachute sequence. Lucy Lou.

Laci (00:46:02):

And then they’re doing your favorite thing, Matt, which is Cameron Diaz is really driving a boat.

Matt (00:46:06):

Yeah. You

Laci (00:46:07):

Can see the water on her. She, you’re

Matt (00:46:08):

Traveling an actual

Laci (00:46:09):

Boat. She’s jiggling, she’s sweating. She’s doing all the things you doing on a boat.

Matt (00:46:13):

And then Lucy Lou Lands and then LL Cool J Lands and then Dask and it’s Drew Barrymore as in blackface, I guess.

Laci (00:46:22):

I mean, when people point to the brown face in this movie, I don’t think they care so much about this.

Matt (00:46:28):

So you texted me and said, drew Barrymore’s in Brown face in this movie, and I thought this was what you were talking about. Even I was,

Laci (00:46:32):

It’s Tell a Cool Jay. I would’ve said blackface.

Matt (00:46:34):

Well, I was like, why is she calling it brown face? But okay,

Laci (00:46:36):

It’s literally, yeah, when they’re belly dancers and it’s not even like a dark shade. It’s just noticeably different. And she’s in the crowd. She’s not even on the stage. What are you doing? This is a thought that they had and didn’t go anywhere with it. Just unfortunately Still use the footage.

Matt (00:46:51):

Yeah. Now, I mean, yeah, blackface is bad. I don’t think a Mission Impossible movie today would have Tom Cruise put on the mask of a black person, even though there would never be any actual blackface. By definition, they would just now replace him with a black actor. It does feel a little weird, but the joke is supposed to be how outrageous it is.

Laci (00:47:12):

How big Ellen Cool J is compared to, they’re like, what’s the polar opposite of Drew Barrymore?

Matt (00:47:18):

Exactly, yes.

Laci (00:47:18):

That’s all they were trying to do. And I don’t fault it. This just feels like an even more innocent Austin Power’s joke.

Matt (00:47:27):

Yeah, that’s what it is.

Laci (00:47:28):

Yeah.

Matt (00:47:29):

So, okay. Once upon a time, there were three very different girls, and in the opening credits we get to see each of these three women who I will never call by name. I can’t keep track of their names. We’ll just use the actress’s names. Drew Barry Moore was like a punk rock badass chick

Laci (00:47:43):

Who broke her arm and flicks off things

Matt (00:47:45):

And has a tongue piercing, which is what Drew Barrymore kind of was in real life, addicted to cocaine as a child, but from an insanely wealthy and powerful family. And

Laci (00:47:53):

So they could support her habit. That’s smart.

Matt (00:47:55):

Yes, smart. If you want to develop these bad habits, support Little Life Hack is have a good expensive well and well wealthy family. Lucy Lou is the prim and proper one. Cameron Diaz is the nerd. So I guess

Laci (00:48:11):

Love that. I do love Karen Diaz in the Headgear. It’s so funny to me. The braces in the headgear doing stunt driving.

Matt (00:48:19):

Yeah,

Laci (00:48:19):

It works.

Matt (00:48:20):

So I guess her deal throughout the movie, is she dreams of being a cool dancer on stage?

Laci (00:48:25):

Yes. Yes. But she is a huge dork who just happened to get into a hot body. The dork inside never realized that it became hot.

Matt (00:48:34):

And when we get to the scene where she does the dance at the Soul Train, this also speaks to my inability to understand dancing where she’s dancing and I’m like, I don’t get the joke. Is the joke that she’s bad or good?

Laci (00:48:45):

Bad.

Matt (00:48:46):

Okay,

Laci (00:48:46):

Bad. But then so joy, it’s just like the scene from My Best Friend’s wedding where she’s so bad at singing that it ends up endearing her to the crowd and they all just get into it and back her up and make it good. Same thing happens in this

Matt (00:48:57):

Movie. So they’re literally just recycling that, alright, I’m going to deduct the movie half a stone.

Laci (00:49:00):

No, but for her to think that she can go on Soul Train and get on the stage and for that to be totally fine that she should be able to steal the show, I think get the movie Understanding. That’s not your place, dude, get down. Come on. And then because she’s so just can’t stop dancing, finally people are just like, okay, you do your thing. They’re tolerant of her. Not like we all like this now.

Matt (00:49:24):

No, they do chant. Go white girl.

Laci (00:49:26):

Yes, but they’re poking fun. Right? They’re not accepting her.

Matt (00:49:31):

Now

Laci (00:49:31):

You’re one of us.

Matt (00:49:34):

John Forsyth, as Charlie explains in the narration, dude, these are the angels. They do all kinds of shit for me and I’m their boss. Okay.

Laci (00:49:43):

I am confused about the loving connection they all have. I’m sure maybe that’s more explained in the show, but just this, just admiration and this pure knowing that Charlie is good and that he couldn’t have done anything bad, like kill this man’s father, which he’s in military intelligence. Of course he could have.

Matt (00:50:03):

I know. I love that.

Laci (00:50:06):

That you just jump into it. You don’t question it. It just is the way they feel about Bosley. It just is. But then you grow to know and look at Bosley. I’d love that guy too. With Charlie. It is a little bit like I’m missing a piece of this.

Matt (00:50:21):

Yeah. I mean, I think that, well, they definitely say with Drew Barrymore that her dad died, and in the James Bond universe, you recruit orphans

Laci (00:50:34):

And they all have to be mapped because if you have a mom and a dad, you’re not going to do this work. You can’t lie to them like that. You can’t have all these skills without them knowing it. You do need to be a person that doesn’t have people

Matt (00:50:45):

And you don’t have people, and the state will replace mother and father, but how are you an orphan who’s also an equestrian nerd and is doing dressage competitions? That doesn’t make any sense

Laci (00:50:58):

Unless he adopted them when they’re children and honed their skills.

Matt (00:51:04):

Well, I’m glad that the movie accepts all of that on face value.

Laci (00:51:07):

I do. I do too. I don’t need the whole thing.

Matt (00:51:09):

It’s a thing that reboots and remix do all the time is we’re going to actually, it’s kind of fucked up. Even the first Mission Impossible, which I love takes the character, the lead from the Mission Impossible TV series and turns him evil in the movie. It’s

Laci (00:51:22):

Actually more like eleven’s relationship to Father. It’s actually more like that. That’s what we find out, these orphans 11 and Father in Stranger Things.

Matt (00:51:33):

In Stranger. Okay.

Laci (00:51:34):

Who else has named 11? Don’t know. That’s 15. Were

Matt (00:51:37):

About a person, stranger Things. So 2016. Come on.

Laci (00:51:45):

It’s still a cultural touchstone. I touched it.

Matt (00:51:50):

How long has it been since that last season though? It’s been like four years.

Laci (00:51:54):

I don’t know. I didn’t even watch that one.

Matt (00:51:55):

No, we did. We watched it.

Laci (00:51:56):

I didn’t mean to.

Matt (00:51:59):

So we are on a houseboat now and we see a naked Drew Barrymore strategically covered in a blanket as Tom Green cooks her

Laci (00:52:05):

Breakfast. She’s just gorgeous. I just love the way, I just love everything about Drew.

Matt (00:52:10):

Well, and hey, isn’t it nice? She fucks two different guys in this movie just because she wants to. And the movie isn’t like, Hey, what a slut. She’s fucking multiple different men, even though she’s not in a relationship

Laci (00:52:23):

With him, and she gets the ultimate fucking vulnerable. Fuck you being shot and killed after you just fucked a guy. But before he does that, he calls her good in bed. How novel that a fucking woman could be Good in bed. I feel like that is never said in movies of this time. Like, fuck yeah, she’s a Tom Kat. Oh, she’s a Tom. Him Green. You didn’t know Tom Kat meant good.

Matt (00:52:50):

No, not that I’m thinking you said. Yeah. It’s only men who are described as good in

Laci (00:52:53):

Bed. The woman’s good in bed. She’s a slut. A woman could only be dire in bed and in pain from the giant penis.

Matt (00:53:01):

Yeah, you’re right. That’s what they traditionally meant. And she was great in bed. She bursted with blood.

Laci (00:53:09):

I felt real huge insider

Matt (00:53:12):

Or the teacher from a election, her pussy gets so wet.

Laci (00:53:16):

God, I can’t hear that line without seeing his mouth up close because that’s what they do. Her pussy is

Matt (00:53:25):

So Tom Green, yeah. Has fucked her brains up, presumably because she even, no, she’s just tired. She’s even like, oh my brains. But he’s like, hello, sunshine flour. I’m going to starfish, wake you up. Bacon casserole starfish. But she’s like, sorry, I got to go and doesn’t explain it to him. I like that she likes this guy and is attracted to him, but will not be telling him anything about her life. Is not even going to tell him we’re in a relationship. Cameron Diaz is having a dream where she’s a Vegas star of a Vegas review. But then, and she

Laci (00:54:01):

Wakes up happier than anyone I’ve ever seen. Wake up to find out you’re not what you actually want to be. And then she just starts dancing. And I want to be mad at her. I want to hate her so bad until she starts doing the butt stuff. And I’m like, okay, this is funny. This is working for me. Goddammit,

Matt (00:54:15):

In the Spider-Man boy underwear, which yes, very, I’ve not thought about this in 25 years, but I was like, oh, right,

Speaker 4 (00:54:24):

Boner, boner,

Matt (00:54:26):

Black bon, and sorry to invite you all into my development. This was definitely a pre puberty movie for me. So it was like

Laci (00:54:36):

The she my

Matt (00:54:37):

I am attracted and feeling horny and nowhere to put any of that

Laci (00:54:41):

Energy. And the Spider-Man part just confusing my dick more.

Matt (00:54:46):

And so when Drew Barrymore is dangling naked out of the window, I am pressing pause on the VHS. Can I see a butt crack? Can I see a butt crack? No, I cannot.

Speaker 3 (00:54:56):

Negative.

Matt (00:54:57):

Lucy Lou meanwhile is on a set of a movie and we think she’s actually having a serious conversation with Matt LeBlanc. But no, they’re rehearsing in a trailer. He’s kind of playing Joey Tribiani in the kinds of acting roles that Joey Tribiani would have. And then Bosley is Bill Murray. He meets up with the three angels and they get their assignment from Charlie on tv. They see a briefing about this guy named who’s played by Sam Rockwell, who has been kidnapped.

Laci (00:55:25):

I could not figure out who that was. And then he started acting very Sam Rockwell. And I’m like,

Matt (00:55:29):

Oh, Sam Rockwell’s been just been in our lives for so long. He, he’s just been,

Laci (00:55:33):

I like him. Oh,

Matt (00:55:35):

What’s not like don’t love Sam Rockwell. Yeah. And yeah,

Laci (00:55:40):

We should do his career. We’d never finish

Matt (00:55:42):

Summer of Rockwell. Yeah. So what is his character’s name?

Laci (00:55:47):

Bosley?

Matt (00:55:48):

No, Sam Rockwell Knox. It’s Knox.

Laci (00:55:50):

Oh yeah. Eric Knox

Matt (00:55:53):

And his business partner, Vivian Wood, played by Kelly Lynch. She’s hired the agency. Charlie’s agency. It’s not a government agency. He’s just like a private guy.

Laci (00:56:01):

Right. So why is he an angel? Why is he such a great guy? He’s a mercenary.

Matt (00:56:06):

Yeah. That’s all this is. Yeah.

Laci (00:56:07):

With women.

Matt (00:56:09):

She comes in and she’s like, listen, I got a prime suspect of the person who kidnapped my boss. It’s this evil looking guy named Corbin, played by Tim Curry, second movie in a row. We’ve covered Tim Curry.

Laci (00:56:19):

And I love that Karen Diaz’s character calls it Exactly right. Even though she’s embarrassed because she’s like, oh, the woman did it. Yeah, the woman did it.

Matt (00:56:27):

Yeah. Should we do a summer of Tim Curry? Maybe we’ll do that. 2029.

Laci (00:56:31):

Ooh, I like that.

Matt (00:56:34):

So Tim Curry is getting a massage from Lucy Lou, who plays up the Asian masseuse thing, even yells Bonsai before she jumps on his back. Okay.

Laci (00:56:43):

But she’s doing that because he’s acting like that. I mean, she’s picking on it.

Matt (00:56:48):

Yeah, I know. She knocks him unconscious with her foot. And then the other angels come in and they’re dressed in Asian wigs. I think I’m turning, Japanese is playing on the soundtrack. It’s a little much. But they steal his palm pilot and duplicate his key, and they’re going to infiltrate a party tonight. A party Tim Curry is attending,

Laci (00:57:07):

But at least they are poking fun at Tim Curry’s character who fetishizes Japanese culture. Because he even has a line of like, yeah, no, I had it all FedExed to me.

Matt (00:57:16):

Yes. This entire,

Laci (00:57:17):

And then his big homage at this very fancy party where he is tried to make everything very authentic, is a giant sumo wrestling match with nipples. I mean, it’s not with nipples, but the sumo outfits even have giant nipples on them. He’s supposed to be a joke, but it is like having it both ways. Oh, we’re not stupid in making fun of Japanese culture. He is,

Matt (00:57:42):

Yes. But when we get to enjoy watching the people put on the silly sumo costumes and slam into each other, even though an actual Japanese, I forget the word. If you’re a westerner who loves Japanese culture, you wouldn’t be into putting on sumo costumes.

Laci (00:57:57):

Right.

Matt (00:58:00):

The party is in a 13th century Shinto temple, which he is FedExed from Kyoto and installed on top of this LA high rise. And let’s see, Cameron Diaz is posing as a waitress and she meets bartender Luke Wilson. And he is like, oh, I’m a bartender. You’re very swell. I guess, has

Laci (00:58:18):

There ever been any character Sam Rockwell has ever played more like Luke Wilson? I’m confused the whole time. Which one are you? Which one are

Matt (00:58:27):

You? You’re saying you’re getting Sam Rockwell and Luke Wilson

Laci (00:58:29):

Confused. I think because the effected voice that Rockwell uses to be his nerd voice before he is cool. It sounds just like Luke and his hair’s even like, this is weird. Why are they so similar? I didn’t pick up on that. It’s not on purpose. It’s just like that’s a weird choice.

Matt (00:58:45):

So they start flirting with each other and she’s doing the bubbly Cameron Diaz delightful thing. He’s like, sorry, you want to go out on Thursday? I love Thursdays. I love Thursday.

Laci (00:58:55):

Great.

Matt (00:58:55):

I’m going to get

Laci (00:58:55):

Tickets. No, no, I love tickets. No, she says, Thursday is my favorite. I’m going to get tickets. I love tickets. And then they’re like, good. Someone that finally talks nickel or Nick or whatever they call her. I’m like, that was fun and cute. Okay.

Matt (00:59:07):

Yeah. He doesn’t even tell her what it’s tickets to. Just, oh, great. I’d love to go to an event.

Laci (00:59:11):

I have fun most places

Matt (00:59:13):

At a ticketed event. Alright, now we finally meet Crispin Glover plays. I guess the thin man. I don’t think he says a word in the movie.

Laci (00:59:22):

Where else do I know this? He’s haunting. He’s so upsetting with me. Crispin clever.

Matt (00:59:27):

Well,

Laci (00:59:28):

Don’t be an asshole about it. Matt, can you tone it down

Matt (00:59:30):

Back to

Laci (00:59:30):

Oh. Oh, he’s Biff.

Matt (00:59:32):

No, Marty, he’s George McFly.

Laci (00:59:34):

That’s what he said.

Matt (00:59:35):

He, he’s playing an imposing henchman and his dad famously played into bond henchman and diamonds are forever, but he never talks. And he does a lot of fighting and he’s very imposing here. It’s just interesting because you hire Crispin Glover to say weird things. Instead, he just does weird

Laci (00:59:52):

Things. He’s right. But a guy that knows how to make you feel a little awkward can do it without words too. In fact, they almost always do. He’s very creepy in this movie. I like it. And his piercing blue eyes are an interesting counter to Cameron Diaz is like, they make a point to show his eyes the whole time.

Matt (01:00:13):

They get just some fights with him and then end up in a dungeon in this party where Sam Rockwell is up

Laci (01:00:20):

Party dungeon.

Matt (01:00:22):

So Sam Rockwell, they’re like, oh, we did it. We rescued him a movie over, I guess, right? Yeah, I think so. The viewer, I wonder if Sam Rockwell will be the bad guy. I

Laci (01:00:33):

Didn’t want, no, I didn’t wonder. I just kept waiting for the woman part. I was bummed when it was him. And then I was delighted because I was like, you were fun.

Matt (01:00:41):

So they regroup with Sam Rockwell at their headquarters and he starts explaining, okay guys, imagine a dystopia where everyone in the world has a cell phone on them at all times and it can be traced by a private company in anyone’s location can be revealed at any time.

Speaker 4 (01:00:54):

No.

Matt (01:00:55):

And they’re so horrified by this. They’re like, we have to go to any ends to stop it. We will do this incredible mission where we will mission impossible style, infiltrate a secret high tech facility so that we can stop that horrible reality that is going to happen in about nine years. Right. The thing that the movie thinks, it’s like inventing this villainous scheme.

Laci (01:01:17):

It is. It’s It also happened.

Matt (01:01:19):

It also happened. And we happily went along

Laci (01:01:21):

With it or gave them the idea. Well, it doesn’t happen like this. It happens slowly with benefits. There’s no benefit here.

Matt (01:01:30):

No, I know. And yes. And people like Laci and I are like, oh, this is positively Orwellian. What are we in 1984? Yes. I’ll pay for $15 a month for life. 360 plus please. Thank you. Now I can see where my wife is all the time.

Laci (01:01:43):

We don’t pay for 360.

Matt (01:01:45):

No, we don’t.

Laci (01:01:45):

I would like Plus

Matt (01:01:47):

Why though? Just because you like for having plus

Laci (01:01:50):

For when our kid drives. That’s when I want it.

Matt (01:01:52):

But what will it do that it does not give you

Laci (01:01:53):

It. It has crushed

Matt (01:01:56):

Protection. Stops you from getting in car

Laci (01:01:57):

Accident. No, it tells you once your kid’s dead. And it also, it comes with roadside assistance, which is the thing I want.

Matt (01:02:06):

You have had the entire time. I’ve known you so much faith in roadside assistance.

Laci (01:02:12):

I’ve never used it.

Matt (01:02:13):

Car warranties and stuff. It has. I’ve never used it. Never in my experience ever worked for anything.

Laci (01:02:17):

What you do, you have it. Where do you purchase this? You don’t have aaa.

Matt (01:02:22):

People have, our car insurance includes outside assistance. And when I called to

Laci (01:02:25):

Get, we’re not using

Matt (01:02:26):

It. I called to get it. They basically laughed at me’s.

Laci (01:02:28):

A stupid way to get, it’ll

Matt (01:02:29):

Be there three days.

Laci (01:02:30):

Aaa.

Matt (01:02:31):

Sure. Aaa. I’m

Laci (01:02:34):

Sure the fuck. Don’t use Geico for it or whatever the hell.

Matt (01:02:37):

It’d be the end of privacy. Sam Rockwell says, so we got to stop Tim Curry from doing this. Okay, great. So listen, he’s he’s at the race car track right now for some reason. So we got to go infiltrate

Laci (01:02:50):

That. We just need you guys in different outfits.

Matt (01:02:54):

No,

Laci (01:02:54):

The race

Matt (01:02:54):

Car. What do they do with the race car track?

Laci (01:02:57):

They get something out of the trunk? No, they put a camera onto his briefcase so they can

Matt (01:03:03):

Under Crispin Glover’s briefcase. Yeah.

Laci (01:03:05):

No, I don’t think so. Onto on

Matt (01:03:06):

Tim Cars.

Laci (01:03:06):

Yeah. So that he can take them on a little tour around, because it’s a Jaguar that they’re getting into. And Jaguar has a driver. So why would Crispin Glover have a driver?

Matt (01:03:14):

And then Crispin Glover chases one of them in race cars. They go outside of the race car track, end up on a bridge and then

Laci (01:03:20):

End up on the bridge. Right? Isn’t that the famous San Diego Bridge?

Matt (01:03:24):

This is San Diego. I don’t

Laci (01:03:26):

Know, man. It was one of those bridges with all the stuff.

Matt (01:03:30):

Boy, we’re doing a bad job this episode knowing things. I think it’s in a place with the bridge.

Laci (01:03:34):

They don’t really tell you.

Matt (01:03:36):

Yeah, I thought this movie takes place in la but you know what? If you’re in LA, you could go to San Diego. That’s possible.

Laci (01:03:41):

You could. And they do go to Catalina as well.

Matt (01:03:43):

They do.

Laci (01:03:44):

Yeah. It’s where the bird’s from

Matt (01:03:45):

Now. It’s from Carmel.

Laci (01:03:47):

That’s the same thing as Catalina. He doesn’t know California at all guys.

Matt (01:03:50):

So

Laci (01:03:51):

How embarrassing for him. I know it’s a k Andy fin hood. That’s the name of the bird.

Matt (01:03:56):

And

Laci (01:03:56):

This fucking weird thing that Chrisman Glover’s character is that he’s just collecting hair lockets from all of them. And all I can still think is that’s a large chunk of hair you’re taken from these ladies. Look at his blue eyes. See, I told you

Matt (01:04:09):

Those are very piercing blue. He’s just like, well, if I can’t talk and do my normal weird stuff, I got to find other weird stuff. Oh hell yeah.

Laci (01:04:18):

It works for me.

Matt (01:04:20):

They got to go get a fingerprint from a guy who works at this facility. So they dress up as belly dancers and Drew Barrymore puts on brown face completely unnecessarily.

Laci (01:04:31):

The two on the stage have the light shining bright down on them and they’re white as day. What did we need this for?

Matt (01:04:39):

And this is what Laci was talking about. And I did not notice it all just because as I said, I don’t even see women and I legit have face blindness. So I didn’t notice that she made herself bronzer. But this is one of the first Google results for Charlie’s Angels or just Drew Barrymore brown face. Oh yeah, she certainly did for this totally necessary thing. And then they also dress up as Bavarian beer winches to go to the house of the other guy they need a fingerprint from. And that’s how they get the fucking thumbprint and eye scan.

Laci (01:05:11):

Right. The tuba gets the eye scan. I was going to say, I like they dress up like men. We’re here now. We’re here now. Talk about it now.

Matt (01:05:22):

Dress up as men to go into the Red Star facility.

Laci (01:05:25):

Drew Barry Moore is a very funny looking man, and there’s bloopers at the end where she’s dancing and it’s tickles me. Camera d Diaz also a very convincing man in this.

Matt (01:05:36):

They’re their man and they’re flanking. Lucy Lou, who is dressed in this dominatrix outfit. She’s coming into this business filled with nerdy men with short sleeves, but wearing ties.

Laci (01:05:46):

She knows what they like

Matt (01:05:47):

And she’s going to

Laci (01:05:49):

Hugs and threats,

Matt (01:05:50):

Dominate them into a efficiency

Laci (01:05:52):

Who wants to help me? They end up being like, you fucking idiots. I love you so much. Who wants to help me? That’s how you do it.

Matt (01:06:00):

It is.

Laci (01:06:01):

Then you get a khaki pants parade full of Chubbies.

Matt (01:06:06):

She’s talking about their dicks, not their stomachs.

Laci (01:06:08):

Oh, right.

Matt (01:06:09):

Melissa McCarthy, early career performance from her playing Doris.

Laci (01:06:13):

She

Matt (01:06:13):

Calls Lucy Lu a bitch Bitch. But then I mean, Lucy Lu’s, you get Domina to come into your office to yell at your employees so that they’ll be more obedient employees. Instead, she leads a worker uprising. She’s like, the managers don’t do shit. You’re the ones who make this company go seizes control of the means of production. She’s literally quoting Carl Marx. Meanwhile, Cameron Diaz infiltrates the secret mission impossible facility, puts on an all white jumpsuit, does a bunch of gymnastics to get into the mainframe, and it works.

Laci (01:06:44):

It works like a charm.

Matt (01:06:46):

And they go back to Sam Rockwell and he’s like, great. You’re saying we have complete access to their top secret files.

Laci (01:06:51):

What a couple of hot, useful idiots. Sure. Glad we hired.

Matt (01:06:56):

Yep.

Laci (01:06:57):

Buddy, I’ll get you anything

Matt (01:06:58):

Mission accomplished. But we’re worried that they’re still going to come after you, Sam Rockwell. So one of us needs to go back with you to your house to make sure you’re not in danger.

Laci (01:07:06):

Good thing one of us is very attracted to you.

Matt (01:07:08):

They go to the Jetson’s house in the Hollywood Hills. I think this house has been used in a lot of different movies. I think it was used in Brian De Palma’s body double. It’s just a famous spaceship that you can go.

Laci (01:07:20):

It’s also not one where you’d want to commit a murder where you shoot someone through your glass. You know how expensive one of those pieces of glass would be? Sam, that’s not the way you don’t

Matt (01:07:29):

Shoot. That’s not using your head.

Laci (01:07:30):

You don’t shoot Drew Barrymore through your spaceship.

Matt (01:07:33):

If you were more strategic, maybe you wouldn’t have to do corporate espionage. You could just come up with the stuff on your own. But

Laci (01:07:38):

I thought he was a smart, rich guy. Why isn’t he doing all this by himself?

Matt (01:07:42):

So Drew Barrymore goes with him because as Laci said, she is attracted to him. And then she’s like, all right, it all seems to be good here. And he’s like, no, wait, you can’t leave because I don’t know how to make chicken bake. She’s like, what you want to do? Shake and bake? I’ll shake. You bake. And she goes, I want to shake

Laci (01:08:00):

Tomcat

Matt (01:08:00):

Another thing that made my pre boner pop as a child. Oh God. Okay. Alright. The other two angels are off on their own little side dates. Luke Wilson takes Cameron Diaz to Soul Train. Lucy Lou is making a bad dinner in that LeBlanc’s trailer. There’s a little recurring joke with Lucy Luke. She can’t cook. Her. Cooking’s terrible.

Laci (01:08:20):

That food looked amazing. I was so upset when it got shot up.

Matt (01:08:23):

Yeah. Yeah. Kelly Lynch goes to Bos Lee’s apartment, puts the moves on him. So it’s an eventful night for everybody really.

Laci (01:08:32):

Everybody’s getting erections. Drew Barrymore has the sex, and now she’s no angel anymore. She gets a phone call saying, Hey, we’ve been attacked. You might be being attacked as well. Sam’s not safe. And it’s this woman. And so she goes out in her toga bedsheets to tell him It’s your partner. You’re in danger. And you actually, I’m the danger. I saw you naked. From the inside,

Matt (01:08:59):

He starts becoming much more Sam Rockwell esque. More evil in a way.

Laci (01:09:03):

Can do. The splits

Matt (01:09:05):

Now has this black outfit that he and his girlfriend, Kelly Lynch, are matching these matching black leotards or whatever. He’s now always dancing. He’s always playing evil music to dance to. And he, oh, it earlier showed her this picture. He’s like, that’s my father. And that’s the man who killed him. You can’t see his face in that picture.

Laci (01:09:25):

Well, and that’s a Vietnam picture. So the whole time I’m like, Charlie killed him. That’s the name of the enemy in Vietnam. Whoever is the enemy, it’s Charlie. I was like, oh, that’s so interesting that it would be Charlie and it is just Charlie. That’s the plot. That’s how that happened. Someone literally saw a photo was like, oh, get it guy’s. Charlie, wouldn’t that be a little spin

Matt (01:09:47):

Just to get ahead of vultures? Not everyone, not all the enemies in Vietnam were Charlie. Charlie referred to the Vietcong, the Victor Charlie vc. Sorry. Vietcong. That’s okay. Yeah. That’s the man who killed him. They were in special forces or whatever together, and he turned on my father and murdered him and cold blood. And he got away with it too.

Laci (01:10:07):

But not before he taught me everything about how to be militarily intelligent.

Matt (01:10:11):

Does he say now to Drew Barrymore? He’s holding the gun to her like your boss. Charlie’s the man who killed my father.

Laci (01:10:16):

No, she puts it together.

Matt (01:10:17):

Okay. So shoots her and she flies out of the glass window,

Laci (01:10:21):

But doesn’t even shoot her. She just realizes she’s going to get shot. So she jumps with the bullet.

Matt (01:10:25):

But that’s what we see in the next scene where it then rewinds hope you like being shot out of window. And we see that she is dangling naked by the bed sheet on the side of this Jetson’s

Laci (01:10:43):

House. We have heard of this scene a few times so far in this episode. I feel it seems familiar, Matt.

Matt (01:10:48):

Yes. And then she falls, rolls down the hill naked. I did do a frame by frame in a Adobe premier with a Blu-ray just to see. Do you ever see a butt crack? No. She is obviously wearing a flesh suit or whatever. It just seems like something Drew Barrymore would do because she’s so crazy. Well,

Laci (01:11:07):

She’s already hanging out the window with tits out. What do you fucking want?

Matt (01:11:11):

You want me? I insist on doing it for real. Rolling down a hill naked for real. Because she’s a flower child. Okay. So yeah, they all go back to HQ and they’re going to go walk into their Charlie’s office, but then it explodes. Oh no, we’re in danger.

Laci (01:11:30):

Bodily in the meantime has been taken. And he’s no angel. He’s not prepared to get out of situations. So he’s very distraught and he’s locked up in some crazy fricking Benghazi that’s wrong

Matt (01:11:45):

In sort of a Benghazi.

Laci (01:11:46):

You know what I’m saying?

Matt (01:11:47):

No,

Laci (01:11:48):

No. The other place, I mean

Matt (01:11:56):

What Abu?

Laci (01:11:57):

Yeah. Sabu. That’s what I said. Benghazi.

Matt (01:11:59):

He’s being held in Abu Gray prison. That’s what he looks like. Okay.

Laci (01:12:04):

He doesn’t seem like he’s in California anymore. But then he’s just in such distress and realizes he’s still got the molar thing in his teeth where he can communicate with the ladies and he just starts just crying out, I’m here. Here are the things that I know. And luckily a little songbird sang and Cameron Diaz’s random ability to know things pops up.

Matt (01:12:27):

But that had not been teased that she even knows bird calls. You’re saying? It’s literally just She’s such a nerd that she’ll know that.

Laci (01:12:33):

No, I’m saying that they are all full of skills, that they’re endless. And you got to think the actual, she was probably constantly popping out these new skills just to fit the plot, the narrative. I think it’s supposed to be part of the joke of like, oh yeah, it’s a ity, titty, muggins. And even the other girls are even like what? They even surprise each other. I think it’s funny.

Matt (01:12:52):

It is. And I think my favorite moment in the movie is when Lucy Lou is doing some hacking in the bird lands in front of her. She looks up and she’s just like, oh. And then says whatever this piece is,

Laci (01:13:00):

The bird is booby hatch.

Matt (01:13:01):

Oh, booby hatch. Bosley in prison. This is when they let Bill Murray just go, just give us that Bill Murray classic. Bring me some ice water.

Laci (01:13:10):

Right. He’s funny. Just nodding this. I

Matt (01:13:13):

Would like to leave the prison now.

Laci (01:13:19):

He wasn’t feeling it. I feel like MG was like in the cell with him. Alright, now try this. And he’s just like fully fuck you. Fuck you.

Matt (01:13:28):

But he manages to contact the angels through the molar thing and he says, if you can hear me, draw some triangles and find me. Which I think is kind of funny. Funny. He means triangulate and they know what he means. And he’s like, I’m by the ocean and there’s this bird. And Cameron Diaz is like, that bird is only found in one place and it’s Carmel. Okay, we got to go to Carmel, but how are we going to get there? Oh, we’ll get there in a boat. I know a guy who has a boat. It’s Chad. Chad. Chad is Tom Green. The Chad. Chad. He

Laci (01:13:51):

Always calls

Matt (01:13:51):

Himself Chad. Now I

Laci (01:13:52):

Think he is. Tom greening his ass off.

Matt (01:13:56):

And what do you mean by that?

Laci (01:13:56):

It Buck. He’s got like five things and he’s doing the one thing he does the most up to level 11.

Matt (01:14:05):

Well, I got to make it count.

Laci (01:14:09):

Did he ever consider maybe just being himself and maybe he’d be in more movies? I guess he was really pigeonholed. I feel like,

Matt (01:14:18):

I don’t remember. Did you seedy Freddy versus his finger? Freddy versus his

Laci (01:14:21):

Finger. Finger?

Matt (01:14:21):

Yeah.

Laci (01:14:22):

Yeah. I’ve seen you

Matt (01:14:23):

Ever seen that? I’ve never seen that.

Laci (01:14:24):

I won’t watch it again because of the skateboard scene. Won’t do it.

Matt (01:14:27):

Oh. I feel like it has been reclaimed by film people. And I think we also said this on our road trip episode one year ago.

Laci (01:14:32):

Fine, but you can watch it and tell me when the skateboard part is over. Don’t want to do it with, and then I’ll watch it.

Matt (01:14:37):

Okay. But I don’t think the idea of the Virgin and the Chad had been invented yet.

Laci (01:14:42):

Oh,

Matt (01:14:43):

Because his name is Chad.

Laci (01:14:44):

Right? You think this is where it comes from?

Matt (01:14:46):

I think it’s just random. I think they just want to have a Yeah. Okay.

Laci (01:14:49):

That’s somehow how I took it. Yeah.

Matt (01:14:51):

When I finally heard of that concept of the Virgin in the Chad, I was like, Chad is just the perfect Yes. I literally knew a Chad. Who was Chad who embodied the Chad?

Laci (01:15:01):

I don’t know what that means.

Matt (01:15:02):

A guy who fucks guy, guy in high school, like a popular boy who fucks a lot.

Laci (01:15:07):

Got it. Okay. God.

Matt (01:15:09):

And yeah, his name is always Chad. Even if it’s not, but it usually is

Laci (01:15:13):

Because I need some Chad stick.

Matt (01:15:14):

But he’s singing a brandy on the high seas and Drew Barrymore is singing it along with him. It’s nice that she likes him,

Laci (01:15:22):

But you got to think if you’re married to Tom Green, you’re constantly trying to make him look like he’s people like, no, no, it’s normal. Yeah. I’m going to stand right next the side of his face and laugh at all of his jokes, even though I’m not even sure if he’s making any. And camera dance. If you could stand behind me, you can laugh too. And this could be really normalized. I’m so fast.

Matt (01:15:40):

I just want a normal night. Well, I hope it’s not that. I think it’s supposed to be that Drew Barrymore’s character is also a little nuts.

Laci (01:15:48):

Absolutely. That in the movie. But I’m wondering, drew Barrymore the fucking producer and actress in this really big action movie who is looking at her husband, who she insisted do this fucking role. I’m sure it’s hope it’s not her going, this was the right choice. We’re choosing the right choice right now.

Matt (01:16:04):

They were married March, 2001 through after only nine months Tom Green filed for divorce. They said they were both young and inexperienced. They didn’t talk for almost 20 years until they reunited on Drew Barry Morris Talk show. Yeah, talk show. Kind of like our podcast. Our lives are only lived on the podcast now. Yeah. We’ll rekindle old relationships and friendships just to have stuff to put on our show.

Laci (01:16:30):

Should I go live in one of the bedrooms and you live in the other? And then we will reunite

Matt (01:16:34):

After 20 years,

Laci (01:16:36):

How long it’ll take to pay off this fucking house.

Matt (01:16:39):

Only 20 years you think? So they put on scuba gear, they swim to the island Fortress and Drew Barry Moore immediately confronts Sam Rockwell. But she gets a gun pulled on her and locked up, locked in a chair.

Laci (01:16:52):

But she knows what she’s doing. We’re in capable hands. We are fully about to get our revenge on this fucking fucking shooter. Fuck. And then Shooter, her

Matt (01:17:03):

Lucy Lou gets attacked by Crispin Glover. Cameron Diaz gets attacked by Kelly Lynch. So we have these three parallel action sequences where I think there’s some kind of bad editing where Cameron Diaz will get the upper hand on Kelly Lynch and Kelly Lynch will be prone on the ground. And then the next time you see them, Kelly Lynch will be back up and have the upper hand on her. And just, you want to see the rise and fall in the arcs of these individual fights. And they’re not really building on each other. You’d like them to. But Drew Barrymore is able to get out of her chair. She does the exact same thing that Black Widow does in the first Avengers movie where she’s like, she’s tied up in a chair and surrounded by all these tough men. And then she’s like, you guys actually think you have the upper hand on me. Come on. No.

Laci (01:17:49):

But she also does the exact same thing as The Rock and Jason Statham. Whenever they’re sitting down with their hands tied behind their backs and they’re calling their shot, first I’m going to kick you across the face, then I’m going to give you a haircut, then

Matt (01:18:01):

God just you saying, that makes me unhappy.

Laci (01:18:04):

Okay.

Matt (01:18:05):

That scene. Ugh.

Laci (01:18:06):

But Drew Barrymore is doing it in a full straddle split, which is just, I’m so impressed.

Matt (01:18:12):

And I love that she’s trying to do the lighter trick. She’s trying to light the thing her ropes on fire behind her back and then it won’t work. So she has to, you see her make the calculation. Alright, got to try something else now. And she does. Okay. When Lucy Lou and Crispin Glover fight, finally we get to hear Blind. I can see, I see. I’m going blind. See, I can see I’m going Blind. Blind. The best corn song. Right? I mean it’s their very first song. So it’s, you’d hope you’d have a better song later. But no, that’s

Laci (01:18:42):

Best. They have fantastic songs. That’s just the best one. Of course.

Matt (01:18:44):

Of course. Yes.

Laci (01:18:45):

Okay, there’s that one Go. So I think I’ve proved you wrong there. Alright. And they win.

Matt (01:18:57):

There’s a helicopter sequence that I think is the worst action sequence in the movie just because it’s not shot very well. You have stunt people who you don’t want to show their faces, but they managed to, Sam Rockwell is heading for Charlie’s house. He’s

Laci (01:19:15):

Finally triangulated.

Matt (01:19:17):

Yeah. This whole thing has been like Bosley is the only person that Charlie calls. So we’ll, kidnap Bosley. Charlie will call him and then we’ll trace his.

Laci (01:19:24):

You could just take Bos Lee’s phone, but whatever.

Matt (01:19:26):

Yeah. It is an incredibly simple scheme. And we will just find Charlie’s location. Oh, here it is. So he flies to Charlie’s beach hut.

Laci (01:19:34):

He’s just Jimmy Buffett.

Matt (01:19:35):

He is kind of just Jimmy Buffett.

Laci (01:19:37):

He stepped on a pop top and ripped off his flip

Matt (01:19:40):

Floop and he’s going to shoot a missile at the fucking beach house. But Lucy Lou has hacked the missile and made it turn around and boomerang on the airplane on the helicopter. So the three angels jump out of the helicopter and swim to shore. And they’re like, guys, we’re going to go into the house and meet Charlie. I can’t believe it. Does my makeup look good? Yes, sister. It sure does. And then they go in, they’re like Charlie, and they hear, good morning, Charlie. Or no, good morning Angels.

Laci (01:20:05):

Good morning.

Matt (01:20:05):

But no, it’s coming from a fucking speaker box again. Got

Laci (01:20:07):

Those things everywhere,

Matt (01:20:10):

Charlie. So they take a load off, take a breather.

Laci (01:20:17):

Well, because their HQ was blown to Smithery. So they get to have a break. And I think it’s a very cute little wrap ’em up moment. But I am confused as to why Charlie says he can’t join them because he’s busy watching out for Little Angels, which are them. He’s right there. He is looking at them. Why

Matt (01:20:36):

This apparently was a staple of the show is them asking like, Charlie, are you going to join us? Margaritas or whatever? And he be like, no, ain’t misses.

Laci (01:20:45):

Yeah, the near misses.

Matt (01:20:46):

But yeah, I can’t, I got to look out for some angels, which is

Laci (01:20:50):

Y’all

Matt (01:20:51):

Them. Because this whole thing is you can’t see my face. I’m rich. Rich.

Laci (01:20:57):

Well, and then you guys will,

Matt (01:20:58):

Things would get complicated.

Laci (01:20:59):

Well, and you guys would be implicated, right? I want to protect you. You guys are doing the work I need you to do. I don’t want to make you more unsafe than I have to.

Matt (01:21:07):

That’s the nice version. The actual version is like I’m playing weird psychological games with all of you

Laci (01:21:12):

And I’ve got a gimpy leg.

Matt (01:21:15):

Can I

Laci (01:21:15):

Say Gimpy?

Matt (01:21:17):

No, you’re canceled. Goodbye. Bye-bye honey. So I remember seeing this in theaters and they’re talking, they’re on the beach with Bosley and they’re like, Charlie, come on. He is like, no, sorry, angels. But then Drew Barrymore turns around and she sees a man in the distance talking on the phone and she realizes that’s Charlie. And I remember in the theater being like, oh. They’re like, what does this mean to me? Nothing. It’s just that guy. Oh, it’s him. He’s Charlie. Okay, but that’s the movie.

Laci (01:21:48):

There you go.

Matt (01:21:49):

Oh well in the closing credits shows how much fun they had and they sing all the small things. This is a music video director and I think MCee people give him a lot of shit. But I think he directs a stupid name pretty

Laci (01:22:00):

Well. Yeah.

Matt (01:22:02):

I mean, yeah, just don’t name yourself Mick g

Laci (01:22:04):

Mn,

Matt (01:22:04):

Just because your name is John McGinty, whatever your last name

Laci (01:22:07):

Is. Yeah, go with John McGee.

Matt (01:22:10):

But the movie has the vibes of a music video and sometimes that’s all you need.

Laci (01:22:16):

I like the simple story. I like that it’s not over complicated. I like that. It’s fun. It’s a ride in it. You get in, you get out before you get bored.

Matt (01:22:25):

Yes. And that is what the story is and that’s how he directs it with the style to match that kind of tone. So you always know the kind of movie you’re watching. Everyone involved knows the kind of movie they’re in and that runtime folks, it is like an hour and 39 minutes. You are in and out before you can even notice

Laci (01:22:42):

It is eye candy for the Not blind. No matter how many corn songs are in here, Ebert.

Matt (01:23:06):

So in summation, I kind of just did my summation. I had a lot of fun with this movie. I’m sure it’s a product of low expectations. I assumed it would be terrible and we’d have a lot of fun making fun of it. Instead, I think it’s just a really solid movie. I give it three and a half stars.

Laci (01:23:19):

I had low expectations of Tooth Fair and we were very right. So I don’t know. Yeah, I’m between 3.5 and four just because it knows what it is and it does what to do. And I think that’s great. Stay in your lane, pick a lane, pick a vibe. Stay. The tone does not change. It is solidly toned. And I think that’s hard when you’re doing a movie that’s kind of a mashup of moments, mashup of things. Drew Bear Boy even Made a reel. That’s a mashup, but it stayed. It has a vision.

Matt (01:23:48):

And I think that’s a good way to start a movie too. As a producer who’s like, we’re going for a vibe. This is the kind of vibe I am looking for. I think that that’s even a better way to start a movie than with a script

Laci (01:24:01):

Even with, and here’s the relationship between the people who are working together. This is how they feel about each other. This is the kind of villain. I like that all. That’s so helpful because sometimes even the actors are making choices and don’t, until everything’s edited, may not even fully see where any of it was going.

Matt (01:24:21):

And if I want to have this kind of scene or I want to have the kind of scene in an action movie where you stop to reflect on a relationship or have a cute romantic moment, then I need to build to that and work to justify those

Laci (01:24:37):

Things. Yes.

Matt (01:24:38):

So the movie’s very successful in that way. I haven’t seen the sequel.

Laci (01:24:43):

I won’t be seeing it. Probably

Matt (01:24:45):

Kind of curious. I’ll tell you one thing that makes me think, oh, this is a mistake. Sequels make the cast list for the sequel is huge. And there’s so many

Laci (01:24:53):

Famous

Matt (01:24:54):

People in it.

Laci (01:24:55):

Well thank you.

Matt (01:24:55):

And one thing about this movie is it’s small in

Laci (01:24:58):

You have three three, how

Matt (01:24:58):

Many people you are

Laci (01:25:00):

Knockout headliners plus Bill Murray, you need nothing else.

Matt (01:25:03):

And each of them has their male counterpart, their very famous male counterpart, whether it’s Joey or Tom Green. But they are siloed off.

Laci (01:25:13):

There’s

Matt (01:25:13):

No like, oh God, Sam Rockwell kidnapped my boyfriend, Luke Wilson. No, it’s great that they’re not involved in the whole storyline. So Bruce Willis is in the sequel. Demi Moore is in the sequel. Just so many people, it gets too bloated. You want to keep the focus on the family.

Laci (01:25:30):

Thank you Ben.

Matt (01:25:33):

So those are our final thoughts coming out next week on the show. Look

Laci (01:25:37):

At how young Walter Mathau, how looked

Matt (01:25:38):

He was like 49. Holy

Laci (01:25:40):

Shit.

Matt (01:25:41):

In Dennis the Menace from 1993.

Laci (01:25:45):

Yep. That’s my movie.

Matt (01:25:46):

Laci picked this movie. She’d been talking about a long time. I think I’ve seen this movie. I know nothing about it at all.

Laci (01:25:53):

He’s a little shit’s what he is.

Matt (01:25:56):

Do we know who this kid is?

Laci (01:25:57):

No. I was hoping you knew.

Matt (01:25:59):

No. Alright, well we’ll find out.

Laci (01:26:00):

Yeah, that would be a history section probably.

Matt (01:26:02):

We have a Patreon: Load Bring Beams, Collector’s Edition. You can subscribe for $5 a month. You can subscribe to us on YouTube, on Apple Podcast, Spotify, et cetera. Tell Friend, check us out on letterbox. Matt Stokes Nine Load, bring Laci. Check out my band, rural Route Nine. And the music we do for the show and our music in general. The Joy of Average is our album. Get it wherever you get music.

Laci (01:26:21):

Okay, I love you. Goodbye.