Fast Five (2011)

Matt (00:01:19):

Podcasts will come and go, but the most important thing is Load Bearing Beams: The Summer of Rock in this room.

Laci (00:01:27):

Matt?

Matt (00:01:28):

Yeah.

Laci (00:01:28):

What did I say on our sofa last night?

Matt (00:01:31):

You get to do the impression.

Laci (00:01:32):

That’s right. And…

Matt (00:01:33):

I don’t, how do you deal with Vin Diesel impression? We’ve been trying to figure it out.

Laci (00:01:39):

You have? I’ve got it on lock.

Matt (00:01:41):

Go ahead.

Laci (00:01:43):

I’m going to do it later.

Matt (00:01:44):

Okay. But I realized you shouldn’t try to sound like him. Just try to sound like Cookie Monster or something. The people in this room,

Laci (00:01:53):

No, because he’s not a wrestler. He’s subtle. He fumbles, but he seems to need to make everything he’s going to say some sort of iconic line, some sort of huge impact. He likes to think of himself as someone who only speaks when he has something that’s very important to hear. He’s not a chit chatter, but he doesn’t have anything very insightful to say. It’s just the volume of things he says make what he does end up saying seem important.

Matt (00:02:25):

It signifies profundity like,

Laci (00:02:28):

Oh,

Matt (00:02:29):

He said something very profound.

Laci (00:02:31):

The movie sets it up like that. The movie zooms into his face. The movie has a score moment in there for that. And then it’s familiar.

Matt (00:02:40):

I hesitate to bring up this comparison. I know it’s dumb. Oasis just reunited. I’ve been thinking a lot about Oasis, listening to them, listening to their music, watching their reunion videos, and I’ve been like, wait a minute, is this an actual connection or is this, I’m just thinking about two things simultaneously and making connections that aren’t there. But is Oasis the Vin Diesel of music? Their lyrics don’t mean anything.

Laci (00:03:04):

Right?

Matt (00:03:05):

Someday a champagne supernova in the sky. Someday you’ll find me. So Sally can wait. She knows it’s too late. If she’s walking on by the lyrics mean nothing. But they sound so important.

Laci (00:03:16):

Well, yes. You just assume they know what they mean. They’re there beyond us. But then I can give you an example of an artist who has very profound lyrics that actually do have meanings. And that’s a artist our kid has introduced me to called Miky and especially later albums. She has such a way with metaphor and every word is it’s all meat, no potatoes. And sometimes you don’t have to take a minute. Sometimes you just totally understand. But it is like no one else in the world would’ve ever put it that way. So there’s a way to do it

Matt (00:03:56):

With all art. It’s meaning is meaningless. You project meaning onto art.

Speaker 5 (00:04:02):

Yes, but with Oasis, I couldn’t even begin to try. Well, no,

Matt (00:04:06):

No, it’s so easy because it is so vacant. But it sounds like it means something, so you just make it mean whatever you want it to mean. It’s like that sounds right. That sounds like my graduation or that sounds like me

Laci (00:04:18):

When

Matt (00:04:19):

I’m scared.

Laci (00:04:19):

What is a supernova? Is that a collapsing star or something?

Matt (00:04:21):

Yeah, but a champagne supernova.

Laci (00:04:23):

How could you collapse champagne into the sky, into a black hole? I dunno

Matt (00:04:26):

Know. It just sounds, but it sounds real big.

Laci (00:04:28):

I don’t think they know what supernova means.

Matt (00:04:31):

That’s the thing. But it’s always words sound real good next to each other.

Laci (00:04:34):

I think they mean champagne Borealis. What are the lights that are in

Matt (00:04:39):

Aurora Borealis.

Laci (00:04:39):

That’s what they mean. Aurora

Matt (00:04:41):

Borealis.

Laci (00:04:41):

They meant champagne. Aurora Borealis put it in.

Matt (00:04:44):

But here’s where the Oasis connection goes. Deeper

Laci (00:04:47):

Go

Matt (00:04:47):

Is I like the Fast In Furious franchise less than other people, but I do like it. However, I think there is a dropoff, and with Oasis there is a big dropoff. But you can look at the Good Oasis, their first two albums and The Bad Oasis, their third albums and everything following. And I know Plenty of Oasis fans love all that and I like it too, but there’s a big dropoff in quality. However, if you listen to them back to back, you’re like, these are the exact same, and yet something is a little off. I don’t know.

Laci (00:05:15):

Well, because the world didn’t have it and then it became so iconic so quickly because it was so unique and so you can’t even define what it is they’re doing, but it’s just fucking cool. We needed you. I don’t know what you are, but we needed you. And then it became Imitable and that made it not as interesting. So then they end up sounding like they’re imitating themselves.

Matt (00:05:39):

Yes.

Laci (00:05:40):

And less is more. Maybe these are a gentle hand.

Matt (00:05:46):

They’ve always been imitating themselves. They’re not very versatile,

Laci (00:05:50):

Just

Matt (00:05:51):

Like the actors in the

Laci (00:05:52):

Fest. I also mean Vin Diesel, though. He was such a, I’m glad he exists, but I think I just need a sprinkle. I don’t know if I need a whole vehicle of him over at Oak.

Matt (00:06:05):

There are movies in the Fast franchise where his thing, his star persona really works for me. And sometimes where I find it really offputting and I could never explain to you what it is or why,

Laci (00:06:15):

Well, there’s this Veil of Menace or you don’t know where this is going to go. And it’s not fresh in my head, the first one, but I think I remember being on the cop side the whole time, or maybe it’s one of those movies point break where you’re straddling both sides and you’re hoping they’re just going to find a way to be lovers.

Matt (00:06:32):

You were talking about watching the first

Laci (00:06:34):

Fast and Furious movie, right? Because pretty sure I probably like both of them right away, but there is at least that part of, I don’t know where this is going. So he’s got more control, more menace, more mystery, more like, fuck this guy’s serious, who knows who will let in the family. And then he does it and he, he’s got this big heart and this big sweet spot and then once you see it, you’re like, oh, whatever. Just give him a minute. I don’t care how furious he’s acting, he’s going to turn. So he loses mystery after he starts letting in people.

Matt (00:07:03):

Yes, you’re right. And in that first movie, and I love The Fast, the first Fast and Furious movie, people who love the series don’t seem to like it very much, but I really love it. It’s got

Laci (00:07:13):

All the stuff.

Matt (00:07:14):

That’s the one where he most successfully sells the mystique.

Laci (00:07:17):

That’s what I mean

Matt (00:07:18):

Of the character. Just like Patrick Swayze does In Point Break,

Laci (00:07:25):

Imagine a point break too.

Matt (00:07:26):

You’re

Laci (00:07:27):

Not going to feel crazy around Swayze. You’re not going to be nervous when he’s dead, but you’re not going to feel nervous around him because if they tie it up fine on the first one, where’s the fucking danger?

Matt (00:07:40):

And with Bodhi letting in Johnny Utah in Point Break or Dom letting in Brian in Fast and Furious, you’re like, wow, you won over Dominic Totto. But you watch this movie series and all he does is bring in new people into his

Laci (00:07:54):

Family, bring people, and this guy is lonely as fuck. He misses his dad and his mom and he thinks of himself as being a patriarch, but he’s got no children. So he just keeps trying to be that.

Matt (00:08:03):

When Paul Walker asks Vin Diesel in this movie, Dom, what do you remember about your father

Speaker 5 (00:08:09):

Fucking

Matt (00:08:10):

Lunch? I wrote in my notes. That’s like if you ask a 10-year-old, can you explain your favorite anime to me? They’re like, oh my God. Really? How much time you got?

Laci (00:08:20):

I don’t know. Fuck. Yeah, I guess I don’t know what I would say. I mean, these are young guys. I’m sure they remember a lot about their fucking cat. He has just

Matt (00:08:28):

Been waiting his whole life to sit on a balcony in a dimly lit night and somebody say dumb. Tell me about your father.

Laci (00:08:35):

His my father. So blue, such a blue collared man, grease on his hands. But he came home for dinner, washed his hands, did homework. He was smart. He schooled my sister. Like, wow, this is day in the life. I’m there.

Matt (00:08:54):

Oasis, there’s something a little conservative and traditional about the values of this series.

Laci (00:08:59):

There’s

Matt (00:09:00):

Sort of like, yeah, women can do cool stuff, ride a motorcycle, but also they need do with the dishes.

Laci (00:09:05):

Well, and

Speaker 5 (00:09:05):

They’re ours.

Laci (00:09:06):

They’re

Matt (00:09:07):

Mine. They are our property.

Speaker 5 (00:09:09):

That’s my sister. Yeah,

Matt (00:09:10):

Yeah, yeah. Very, very rigid family dynamics. But you can fuck my sister. But then even that is kind of traditional. I give you my blessing sister in exchange for a goat or whatever. And I think this comparison works with the mission Impossible being the blur, more cerebral, more for educated people. It’s more,

Laci (00:09:36):

If you’re looking for plot holes, don’t do it with Fast and Furious. Do it with Mission Impossible. You’re not going to find them. Right? Right. It’s tighter. The tighter ship,

Matt (00:09:45):

The lowest of the low is looking for plot holes. No,

Laci (00:09:47):

I just mean Mission Impossible. Absolutely knows what it is and doesn’t really veer off of that thing and has a very clear storyline that makes sense and it’s going for something big and different each time, but somehow it’s the same where this is just put these guys in a new place and it’ll be good. I think

Matt (00:10:11):

You Mission Impossible is way more precision based.

Laci (00:10:14):

That’s

Matt (00:10:15):

What I mean. And it is like we’re not going in for any of the cheeseball stuff that the Fast and Furious series does, but otherwise they’re very similar series in that they were kind of very specific, director driven, seemed like a different genre for each movie until they settled into the kind of movies they would be Is

Laci (00:10:35):

Can I ask a question?

Matt (00:10:36):

Yes, go ahead.

Laci (00:10:37):

Did we start the podcast?

Matt (00:10:38):

Yeah, we’ve started. This is Load Bearing Beams: The Summer of Rock. I’m Matt Stokes.

Laci (00:10:41):

That’s a cold open, baby. I’m Laci Roth. We’re married,

Matt (00:10:45):

We’re married each other.

Laci (00:10:46):

We’re a family.

Matt (00:10:47):

We’re a family. We became family that day.

Laci (00:10:49):

PP.

Matt (00:10:50):

And this is the Summer of Rock. We’re going through the filmography of Dwayne Johnson, who you have not mentioned yet in our 15 minute preamble.

Laci (00:10:58):

There’s no room in the room when you’ve got Vin Diesel. So many diesel fumes. I need to air it

Matt (00:11:03):

Out. I didn’t realize, I guess this Vin Diesel thing is something I needed to have been sharing with Lacey over the years. She was so in a lacy way just reactive to everything he did.

Laci (00:11:13):

We were watching America’s Funniest Home videos last night. I was like, he did come on. And I was very impressed with how much Matt let me talk the entire time, but just kept waiting for the, you’ve hit the limit

Matt (00:11:26):

And because in my history segment, I’m really just detailing the series without going into Vin Diesel, we will be covering Hobbes and Shaw later in the summer, which is the Rock’s spinoff movie Fast and Furious movie. That was the result of the big Dwayne Johnson Vin Diesel feud.

Laci (00:11:42):

And

Matt (00:11:43):

There I will detail all the hot goss for you. The falling out between the two men.

Laci (00:11:48):

Wait, in real life.

Matt (00:11:49):

Yeah. I can’t wait. Kind of just going over it this morning, I still wonder, is this all in wrestling? You’d call it a work. Is this all a work?

Laci (00:11:59):

Because you find the similarity in these two men, maybe not in style, but in the way they think about what they do and do not do on screen and how they are perceived. Vin Diesel seems to want to control his image.

Matt (00:12:14):

So does the rock

Laci (00:12:16):

Love? You see how that’s telling you they’re the same?

Matt (00:12:18):

Yes. Oh yes.

Laci (00:12:19):

Because where they’re different is I feel no chemistry sexually toward the rock where Vin Diesel, I’m just like, pin me up against the wall. I guess you’re not my type, but

Matt (00:12:29):

That’s the big thing. Do it. Yeah. The Rock is a better actor. Probably more versatile. But Vin Diesel has something sexiness sexy. The rock never has. When Vin Diesel pins

Laci (00:12:41):

Passion

Matt (00:12:42):

Elsa Pataki up against the wall in her apartment, you just feel it. I’ve never felt anything like that watching Joanne Johnson with a sexy lead.

Laci (00:12:49):

If there’s anything you get sick of and you could fault Vin Diesel for it is over the gushing passion. That’s how he’s all that where the rock has a very good way of staying removed and when he gives you that heart or that acceptance or takes down that wall, those are the magical moments in the movies. But Vin Diesel never puts it up. He’s just real mad at you for shooting at him. Bad guy. When are you going to join our family? You are in my family. We need to have a family dinner for the kids that are coming.

Matt (00:13:23):

He will. There’ll be sex scenes in these movies that feels like there should be more, but at least compare them to the Mission Impossible movies or every other big franchise that exists.

Laci (00:13:33):

These

Matt (00:13:33):

Are hot people hanging around hot cars at them, always sweaty. They should be fucking like animals all the time.

Laci (00:13:39):

You think that’s a part of it? Is that they need to also bring in 13, 14 year olds and it needs to be something you can take teenagers to without it being crazy?

Matt (00:13:50):

I don’t think it has to. I’m not saying explicitly show it. I’m saying a PG 13. You used to get PG 13 sex scenes in movies that kids would go see, but

Laci (00:13:58):

These kids can’t drive yet, so they got to, the mom’s going to come. I don’t know. It does feel like, I guess when you were talking, I was like, this does kind feel like a Hallmark mission Impossible. But then Mission Impossible is pretty sexless too.

Matt (00:14:11):

Oh, it’s very sexless.

Laci (00:14:11):

Yeah. I mean that’s because Tom Cruise is, yes. So comparing Cruise are Tom Cruise and The Rock and any movies together because that’d be interesting. I don’t think you could have two frigid men in one movie. Dry up. Everyone’s vaginas.

Matt (00:14:24):

So the Summer of Rock going through the filmography of Dwayne Johnson, this is now the second of three Little wait. Okay, so we’re telling the story of the Rocks movie career in Thirds. We’re in the second third, which is the, Hey, things are going good now. Hey,

Speaker 1 (00:14:38):

Hey. Because

Matt (00:14:39):

We started off with the Scorpion King, like a solid base. Hit the Rundown, a great movie that was a financial disappointment. Then he enters family movie hell for the next half decade,

Laci (00:14:50):

But oddly has some upticks in at least in revenue, if not in reputation.

Matt (00:14:56):

That seems to be the only thing where he’s making money. But hey, this guy who we all sold you as the next big movie star, it seems like it hasn’t worked.

Laci (00:15:04):

And

Matt (00:15:04):

Weirdly, it is this movie in which he’s not that big of a part. He looms larger in my memory than he’s actually on screen. But this was the key to him figuring it out.

Laci (00:15:17):

He probably looms large because he is the largest payoff. They see each other in what they’re trying to do, even though they’re coming from completely different places and he’s going to turn ’em. But then it happens and it, it’s very rewarding.

Matt (00:15:32):

It’s so satisfying when Hobbes is laughing at the end of the movie.

Laci (00:15:36):

Yes, that toto fucking smile, man. That’s what I’m saying. Totto is constantly giving you that warmth and that passion. And so sometimes you’re just like, oh, turn that one down. Okay. I mean, it is working on me, but that’s enough. And then when the Rock decides to, it’s like, oh, did everyone see Smile? Did everyone come in here?

Matt (00:15:55):

And what this series has done is Chase the high of this movie every time they have to top the big vault Chase for the big final action piece

Laci (00:16:03):

Is an excellent action

Matt (00:16:06):

Sequence. The villain of this movie always has to join the team in the next movie and to extremely dumb extents.

Speaker 5 (00:16:14):

And

Matt (00:16:14):

The team just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger and so bloated. There’s no time for anybody. Bree Larson, Charlize there and John Cena, they’re all here.

Laci (00:16:23):

Are you serious?

Matt (00:16:24):

Yeah. They’re all the villains in the previous movie now We love them.

Laci (00:16:29):

Charlie there,

Matt (00:16:30):

I think has never been, she’s been at best an uneasy ally in that most recent movie. But yeah, John Cena was the villain of the ninth movie. Now he’s best friends with them in the 10th movie. Is

Laci (00:16:39):

He best friends with the Rock? Jason

Matt (00:16:40):

Statham is the villain in the seventh now he’s on the team. And the next one

Laci (00:16:43):

Isn’t he bbs?

Matt (00:16:45):

He’s Shaw.

Laci (00:16:46):

Shaw.

Matt (00:16:47):

Hobbs and Shaw. And because Vin Diesel and Dwayne can’t work together anymore, and in the last movie they were in together Fast and Furious eight, they are never on screen together. They decided, okay, we just have to give them their spinoff. Yeah, we’re talking about Fast Five the best movie in the Fast Furious series.

Laci (00:17:08):

Where is the Rock in his other? So he’s strictly movies right now, not making appearances. Right.

Matt (00:17:16):

Wwe. He will return to wrestling after this. And so our next episode, pain and Gain, I will have a wrestling corner because that is when he goes on his most extended run in wrestling after his first retirement.

Laci (00:17:29):

I’m going to corner you,

Matt (00:17:31):

But for this episode we’re not going to be touching on wrestling. We will be touching on one specific thing he did the weekend this movie was released. So I mean we’ve kind of already given our histories with this franchise, but you said you had seen Fast and Furious when you were a child.

Laci (00:17:47):

Yeah. What year would’ve come out?

Matt (00:17:48):

Oh one

Laci (00:17:50):

Absolutely saw it in theaters and I loved it. I mean it seemed like 9 0 2 1 oh but bad. There’s just a bunch of good looking. I love that a girl can drive a car like a boy. I mean there’s a whole lot of tits and ass and hanging out around. And there was a thing where the Lake Lakefront, every weekend on the South Shore, all the nice cars would all line up and then our version of Hot Attire, which was stuff from the Forever 21. And we didn’t look like those ladies with their very sexy two piece outfits. So of course there’s a heightened, that’s not how it actually looks when you hang out with cars, but whatever. So anyway, I think I was kind of a car girl a little bit because I had so many car guys in my life

Matt (00:18:38):

Really

Laci (00:18:39):

Just in that I knew what things were and I knew what things were impressive. I was never going to have any of it, but I didn’t send anyone’s anyone car and I was never attracted to someone because of their car. All that seems very fucking stupid. So I don’t like those parts of the movie. I don’t like that aspect. There’s so many dumb bimbos, but whatever. Par for the course.

Matt (00:19:00):

But you didn’t continue on with it.

Laci (00:19:02):

No. I give zero shits about cars. I get it. They’re art. They’re unique and things are rare and all that stuff. And I hate going fast. I mean, I’ll go the speed limit and maybe 10 more, but if I’m going fast, I’m okay. I do not like anyone else to drive me fast. And I don’t like anyone that drives fast for fun or impresses someone, especially not to scare someone and not on a fucking residential street. Maybe on a track I’d do it maybe except for I just had a blowout going fucking 70. And what would happen? What would happen one, any street if you had a blow out going in 120, fuck, it’s just stupid. There’s so many ways to die. Why do this? Paul Walker, why do this?

Speaker 1 (00:19:50):

Why indeed

Laci (00:19:51):

Wear a seatbelt, put a fucking case on your goddamn phone and everybody just pay their taxes. But

Matt (00:19:55):

As the point. Oh, we got to get to that.

Laci (00:19:57):

Yeah, I’m not perfect,

Matt (00:19:59):

But as Vin Diesel says in the first movie, I live my life a quarter mile at a time. He’s fucking stupid in that few seconds I’m free. That’s why he does it. Because of the danger that you described.

Laci (00:20:09):

I know he’s also the patriarch or the family. So are you going to be there for your family or not? I think once you start popping out children fast eight or whenever Paul and this one stop doing this, now you’re just being an asshole.

Matt (00:20:22):

And he does have a kid, but he continues on with the life

Laci (00:20:25):

And that is fucked because this was supposed to be the final score. I don’t like a movie about a final score. That’s not one. Unless they have a very good reason why it all went away. But they end this movie with all the money.

Matt (00:20:34):

That’s true. So the next one does have the clever gambit of like, alright, you did one final score to get all your money recession. Now you do one you invested with Madoff and Lazy Loves Bernie Madoff. She’s a Madoff trooper. She’s nice. You have all this money, but here’s what you don’t have freedom to go to America. So they work for the Rock in the next movie to get Pardons

Laci (00:20:59):

By Dolly, they want to go to Dolly World.

Matt (00:21:02):

What a begging. Your pardon? Oh, okay, Dolly. Pardon? You did a very natural,

Laci (00:21:08):

I thought we were totally on the same level with

Matt (00:21:10):

That so that after that they can end up on the right side of the law. And in this movie, there’s another thing I think that goes wrong in the series in this movie where they literally say, we hate cops. Two movies are now they’re working with cops. They’re best friends with cops. They’re basically a government agency in three movies from now. You had seen Fast Five. I showed it to you.

Laci (00:21:32):

Yes. And I liked it then and I like it now.

Matt (00:21:34):

But this isn’t your series. It’s not like Mission Impossible, which you love a lot.

Laci (00:21:38):

It’s not

Matt (00:21:38):

Like this

Laci (00:21:39):

Isn’t going to bring me to the theater, especially because there’s holes. So I feel like I need to watch all of them, which I would. They’re perfectly fine and fun. I like all these guys. It’s one of those things where it’s such a tragic loss. He’s so young, he’s so charismatic. He really adds something to the group. He’s different from anyone else. The Paul Walker, he stands in for us dummies who don’t know what’s going on in the crime world. I don’t know what it is about him, but once he’s gone, I think I’d be too sad to have fun.

Matt (00:22:09):

And I think that the movies have suffered without him. He’s not a good actor. Again, most of these people aren’t that good. That’s

Laci (00:22:15):

Why they don’t have a Ty

Matt (00:22:16):

Tyree Gibson not that good. And yet there’s something about them, something about, and Paul Walker is the rudder that makes Vin Diesel more tolerable

Laci (00:22:25):

Because

Matt (00:22:25):

More normal, he has a, oh gee whiz, this is cool what we’re doing where Vin Diesel has to just be

Laci (00:22:32):

Never

Matt (00:22:32):

Say anything.

Laci (00:22:33):

Yes. And he’s like vouching for him in a way of Don’t worry guys, he’s not being weird. No, this isn’t. No, he’s nice. And it’s a pretty big risk to use a rapper, ludicrous. And a person who started off as a model and a singer Tyrese, and those are your comic relief guys. I mean there’s a lot of different comic relief, but it’s an interesting choice. But it works because enough for each of them to do and not too much for any of ’em to do.

Matt (00:23:00):

It works here, but sometimes it doesn’t work

Laci (00:23:02):

Because

Matt (00:23:03):

You’re like, yeah, but you’re not funny enough to be like,

Laci (00:23:05):

Well, like I was saying off mic, that unlike with Oceans 11 and what was my other example? Love of heist movies where you got, oh well Mission Impossible, this series, because they tried to do these different movies in the beginning where they weren’t all a unit. So they gave these classic, you’re the numbers guy, you’re the computer guy, you’re the wheels man, whatever. They gave all these assignments, which there aren’t that many to give to people and then ended up putting people all together who are the same kinds of task person. So it gets a little sloppy and it’s a little muddy and they have to do awkward things like Shoehorn in a line of I Had a Life Before You, which was being obsessed with safes and having models of them and putting my head on them and cracking them. That was the life you had.

Matt (00:24:03):

And ludicrous when we meet him in Fast and Furious two, he is not a hacker now in this movie. He’s a

Laci (00:24:09):

Hacker. Call him a circuit guy. I’m working the driving circuit. That’s their fucking weird macho way of saying computers with Circuit City and Chips.

Matt (00:24:24):

I guess so. Yeah,

Laci (00:24:25):

Circuit Guy. I still dunno. And I don’t think the movie knows because the person on the computer the whole time is the fucking sister pregnant. Well,

Matt (00:24:31):

What you were saying that was such a good point was they need to have clearly defined roles that you then see them do in the movie, whereas this, all their skills seem to just mush into one thing.

Laci (00:24:42):

So there’s that. That’s the problem. And because Tyrese is the comic relief with his big personality in one movie. I don’t know exactly what Ludicrous did, but assuming I know who Ludicrous is, he kind of did the same thing in another and they sort of handle that when they meet and they’re like, oh, you’re the black guy or You’re the black and this one, I think that’s funny, but gets us not very far because we still don’t have enough differentiation in why we’re now looking at someone doing a thing and what kind of comedy or heightened something are we going to get because of this scene, because of that person we’re with someone like Vin Rames and then someone completely different from him with Simon Peg. You’re going to have two very different moments in that movie.

Matt (00:25:29):

Look at you knowing two actors.

Laci (00:25:30):

I was hoping I was giving you a boner and if I wasn’t, I was just going to point this gun at you again, boner. So that’s what I mean. There’s not enough difference in personality and in task,

Matt (00:25:42):

But I wonder if the charm is that we just like these actors,

Laci (00:25:46):

We make room

Speaker 5 (00:25:46):

For the people in the family. It’s okay if there’s crossover

Matt (00:25:49):

And that kind of is real life. Me and my brother are basically the same person if you think about it. So not necessarily me and Elliot. I mean, although yeah, we

Laci (00:25:58):

Have a lot of crossover

Matt (00:25:59):

And you look at any family and you’re like, you’re basically four of the same people. Well, I don’t get it. Who in this family is the circuit guy and who’s the safecracker? So I mean maybe people’s emotional attachment. That’s the thing. Okay, so my history is I saw my brother had me watch Fast and Furious One, I’ve never in my life cared about cars at all. I think he’d did a little bit more, but he was always cooler than me. He is like, this is a cool movie

Speaker 1 (00:26:22):

And

Matt (00:26:22):

I think I enjoyed it. And then I watched Fast Two and I think I enjoyed it and then didn’t see three or four. I saw this movie Fast five in the movie theater the same day that I saw the Arcade Fire play at JazzFest.

Laci (00:26:34):

What else did you do that day? Matt

Matt (00:26:35):

Went to work and it was like, how did I manage to do all three of those things in the same day? What a day, what a day, a big day. And then didn’t continue with the series. I think it was when Paul Walker died and everyone was talking about how emotional the ending of the seventh one was. I decided to watch that movie and then filled in the gaps. And so I really like this series. I don’t love it. I think people who really love this series have a very emotional attachment to the people. And I would say I don’t really have that

Laci (00:27:02):

And I think I understand why. I think the kind of person that would be drawn to this are the people who maybe don’t have a strong blood family, people who would like to be in this family and I wouldn’t. And you, I mean, know what to do. And I think there’s people who are like, well, I’m a ragtag kind of, I don’t know. I like to curse and sometimes I smoke weed or whatever. I don’t know. Just a rough person who wants to do something exciting can imagine they get to join too. He’d like us too. And I think that gets you really emotionally attached if you just feel like you’d be a part of this family. If it were real,

Matt (00:27:39):

I wouldn’t want to join the Mission Impossible group either. But I feel like Fast and Furious is always talking about how this is a family, whereas in Mission Impossible, they actually feel like,

Laci (00:27:48):

I know they’re

Matt (00:27:49):

A family.

Laci (00:27:49):

I think it’s the talk. I think the kind of people that need a family outside of their own need to be hearing it, need to be constantly beaten. I mean it’s a different emotional need than just seeing that family seems hard to get into a mission impossible. You need to be expert of an expert. You need to understand what the fuck they’re doing. That is not something you would enter. This is just a rolling ball and if you jump on that ball, they’ll make a room for you somewhere.

Matt (00:28:13):

Yeah, I feel like Vin Diesel and Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster are family. I feel the connection between them, ludicrous and Tyrese. I feel their connection to each other. I don’t feel like this is one big cohesive thing where they all love each other and they all, there’s very few interactions between like Gal Gado and Vin Diesel or Gal Gado. And

Laci (00:28:34):

My argument is that the people who are connected to it in the way that you’re not do see it or don’t mind that they’re not all the same kind of level of attachment to each other. That doesn’t matter. People being used for our skills that we have not being judged. And there’s a lot of hot ladies, so they’re going to like the two characters who end up getting together in this one. Where do you meet people if not at work?

Matt (00:29:01):

Yeah, that’s a good point. You like Oasis, you’re projecting your meaning onto it. They say they love Han. So they love Han. Of course they say they love Giselle. So they love Giselle. Yeah. Giselle is gal Ga DOT’s character. I think this is the best one in the series and we had fun watching it. My love for it is just one who loves action movies and practical stunts and

Speaker 2 (00:29:26):

All that

Matt (00:29:26):

In this movie’s, very this series, he’s very devoted to keeping all of that stuff alive. Classic car chases, practical effects, practical stunts,

Laci (00:29:35):

Changing some, adding something you’ve not seen before or doing it on a bigger scale.

Matt (00:29:39):

Yeah, going big, going to real locations, going all around the world.

Laci (00:29:43):

It does do something that makes me uncomfortable, which is it puts a lot of civilians in danger.

Matt (00:29:48):

That’s true.

Laci (00:29:49):

I don’t like drama.

Matt (00:29:49):

Yeah, I know. I was annoying. Then you’re like, oh,

Laci (00:29:51):

What about the poor people? They’re walking

Matt (00:29:53):

Around. I know, but yeah, I don’t know what to tell you there. My response is like you’re supposed to turn off your brain.

Laci (00:30:00):

And my kid were on the interstate and I had to blow out and I had to pull over and we weren’t on a super busy part. It was already an off ramp, but they go by really fast and we had to sit on a, thank God we parked by a little piece of cement, not in the grass with all the ants. And if he just decided to pop up at a moment where I couldn’t catch ’em, nobody slows down because the car’s on the shoulder.

Matt (00:30:23):

So

Laci (00:30:23):

I mean, if matched, if a safe were attached to the car,

Matt (00:30:26):

Yeah, cars are dangerous,

Laci (00:30:27):

They’d hit the kid. I don’t like that.

Matt (00:30:30):

I want to talk about the history of Fast five. That’s fine. Okay, so the origins, this actually all starts with Paul Walker, who in the late nineties was positioned as sort of an up and coing star in Hollywood. He’d been in, she’s all that in Pleasantville past episode, Pleasantville and Varsity Blues. And he was in a movie called The Skulls. Yeah,

Laci (00:31:12):

I saw that.

Matt (00:31:13):

Directed by Rob Cohen in 2000. Rob Cohen was the director of that movie, the producer of that movie, Neil Moritz. They asked Paul Walker what he’d like to do next. Let’s see, and I’m quoting here from, this is from a 2015 piece in Los Angeles Times by Amy Kaufman, how Paul Walker Neely quit the Furious franchise. He said his dream project would be a mashup of Days of Days of Thunder and Donny Brasco, something in which he could be both an undercover cop and a race car driver. So the filmmakers brought him a vibe article they’d found about Undercover Street racing in la. So that article is called Racer X. You can read it online. It was written by Kenneth Lee and Amy Kaufman, the LA Times writer. She was wrong. She said it was about LA Street races, but it was actually New York Street races and it all centered on a 30-year-old Dominican American Street racer named Raphael Estevez, who was the clear inspiration for Dom Teretta.

(00:32:08):

So going back to the LA Times piece, Paul Walker said, they said, you’ll be racing as an undercover cop in this world. I wanted to sign on immediately and they were freaking out. If I had the same opportunity today, I’d overthink it and probably squander it. But I was younger and impressionable and I wanted to work. They came at me and I was 24 years old. I had just recently had a child out of wedlock. I wanted to have fun and I needed to put a roof over my baby’s head. Getting out to hang out with my friends and support my baby seemed like a ridiculous scenario end. So I mean, he’s just talking about how he was very bold about his career decisions, not thinking maybe I wouldn’t be able to carry a movie like that by myself. I’ve only been a supporting actor

Laci (00:32:52):

In

Matt (00:32:52):

Movies, but

Laci (00:32:53):

He’s not going to carry it up until now. There’s going to be

Matt (00:32:55):

So quote, but the actor said, Cohen, who would direct the Fast and the Furious and Moritz who has produced all the movies in the franchise, knew he was apprehensive about being the guy. So he said the filmmakers assured him they’d find a strong supporting CoStar to take away some of the pressure and insecurity of, oh, I’m supposed to be cool in this. And they had the perfect man in mind, the perfect cool guy to co-star with Paul Walker, Timothy Olifant.

Laci (00:33:24):

Oh my God, I love him. But no, no, no, no, no.

Matt (00:33:29):

The role of Dominic Teretta was offered to Timothy Olifant from Justified and Deadwood. And it’s so funny to look at pictures of him from the nineties and two thousands where he does look like all those s skit O Ricks and stuff, and was indeed in Scream Two and was in all these teen movies and stuff. And you’re like, that’s Seth Bullock. Oh my God. They just put a cowboy hat on him and have him.

Laci (00:33:53):

Okay, but they also seem to keep the hanger in his shirt that explains the posture’s just like forgot to take the hanger again.

Matt (00:34:00):

So he had just been so, they literally offered the role to him, but he had been and gone in 60 seconds the year before. So he turned it down and instead they got Vin Diesel. Van Diesel, thank

Speaker 5 (00:34:09):

Fucking God whose

Matt (00:34:10):

Real name, of course, mark Sinclair Sinclair. The movie was an unexpected huge hit. $200 million worldwide on a 38 million budget.

Speaker 5 (00:34:20):

Dang.

Matt (00:34:21):

As I said, I really love this movie. I think that it has. I’m sure it’s because I was alive and aware of the world in 2001 and I watched the movie now and I’m like, that’s what the world felt like and looked like in 2001. That’s what logos looked like and graphics looked like.

Speaker 1 (00:34:38):

But

Matt (00:34:38):

The movie, I don’t know, it just captures that moment in time and just has a melodramatic cheesiness.

Laci (00:34:44):

It’s a teen movie, but with higher stakes. It’s just a, and I feel like that’s also that awkward moment, right? Path’s not taken. Those are bougie New York people right after a teen movie. And these are not those people.

Matt (00:35:00):

I love that. This is what happens to the teen movie stars after the teen movie.

Laci (00:35:05):

You got to go a little bit adult, but not too much.

Matt (00:35:08):

And their crimes in that movie are they hijack DVDs off of trucks and stuff. So it goes from that to them working for the CIA. So they’re going to make a sequel. Vin Diesel and Rob Cohen were interested, but they had started production on Triple X, a new star vehicle for Vin Diesel.

Speaker 2 (00:35:29):

How’d that go?

Matt (00:35:30):

It was a modest success and Vin Diesel apparently turned down 25 million to be in too fast, too furious. He said it was because he didn’t like the script, but later he said he should have just done it and fought for it to be better. But that is sort of an early indication of Diva Vin Diesel

Laci (00:35:51):

And Diva Soul.

Matt (00:35:52):

Yeah, being a little too big for his britches. I, I’m going to be a big movie star. I’m going to take the world. I’m triple X now. Are you kidding me?

Laci (00:35:58):

I don’t know.

Matt (00:36:00):

Too fast, too furious.

Laci (00:36:01):

Big movie star, right? I feel like he did it all right. It’s cool me. Come on. Well,

Matt (00:36:05):

I mean,

Laci (00:36:07):

He’s maybe equal parts punchline and equal parts cool guy.

Matt (00:36:11):

I think that he had hits outside of the Fast and Furious franchise for a little while and then he didn’t. And now all he has is the Fast and Furious franchise and he’s the voice of Groot and that’s it. What else does he do?

Laci (00:36:23):

Oh, it’s like he’s the voice of Gru on fucking Despicable Me. How? I don’t think that’s true. Okay,

Matt (00:36:30):

So they proceeded to make Too Fast, too Furious, brought in Tyrese Gibson as the new CoStar for Paul Walker, brought in John Singleton as the director. Like Fenty, you think you’re too good to work for John Singleton, one of the great directors of the era, fucking schmuck. So the movie introduced the character to Roman Pierce, introduced Chris Ludacris Bridges as Tej Parker Two Fast, two Furious was also an enormous hit, 237 million

Laci (00:36:53):

Worldwide.

Matt (00:36:54):

People love Cars, people and people loved these movies. And

Laci (00:36:59):

I think there’s a big crossover there with people that also just like cars. Okay, yeah, there’s not a lot of it if you’re not going to do just traditional racing around a track or there’s not those wide open American Frontier going to use my car. There’s just something cool about seeing all those cars and that whole culture and nitrous and systems and speakers and hydraulics. Where else are you going to see it and see it glorified and not made a joke of?

Matt (00:37:31):

What’s so fun about Two Fast, two Furious is it’s basically an eighties cop movie. It’s a white cop and a black cop. It doesn’t have very much to do with the Fast and the Furious mythos, but I think people just were happy to see a throwback action movie

Speaker 1 (00:37:48):

Like that

Matt (00:37:49):

With Room Room Cool Cars, but they didn’t get Paul Walker for the next movie. So instead they just made a spinoff called The Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift.

Laci (00:38:00):

This is where I became, I think I was, I was aware of each one too. They’re very smart with their naming scheme. And the Tokyo Drift just took on a life of its own. So it made me aware of what that is. Yeah, I guess I saw the movie. I just remember Tokyo Drifting becoming quite a thing for a little bit.

Matt (00:38:17):

Really? The act of drifting of the car. Yeah. I had no idea what it meant. One of the best things. Do

Laci (00:38:23):

You want me to tell you?

Matt (00:38:24):

No, I’ve seen the movie. I know. Okay, now I know

Laci (00:38:26):

It’s what Cruz Ramirez does to figure out how to do the turn. No, no. It’s in the first movie. Turn Left to Go, right? Yeah. It’s that turn left to go right. It’s that. Wow, I did it. Wow. Sorry. Not Cruiser

Matt (00:38:35):

Mirrors. One of the great things about the Fast and Furious series is the naming scheme, how there is No Logic and they will totally change it from movie to movie.

Laci (00:38:45):

What did I just say?

Matt (00:38:46):

Yeah, so I’m building on that.

Laci (00:38:48):

Build on It

Matt (00:38:49):

Two. Fast and Furious. Fast and Furious. Tokyo Drift number four is just called Fast and Furious. And then for Fast five, the movie we’re calling it now, we’re reviewing today just Fast five.

Laci (00:38:59):

I like it.

Matt (00:39:00):

Yeah,

Laci (00:39:01):

They should do F period a period.

Matt (00:39:05):

Just go

Laci (00:39:06):

Crazy with punctuation.

Matt (00:39:07):

I bet they

Laci (00:39:07):

Colon comma, fucking semi just crazy.

Matt (00:39:11):

Then there was Furious Seven and then The Fate of the Furious, but the logo said F eight, and then the one that followed that was just F nine. And then the one after that

Laci (00:39:23):

Was like Formula Nine, right?

Matt (00:39:24):

Well, formula One,

Laci (00:39:26):

There was nine of ’em, but

Matt (00:39:27):

Then the one after that was Fast X. So yeah, just everyone has to use a different scheme, but okay. Fast and Furious. Tokyo Drift, one of the most important movies in the franchise because it added the two most important Creative Voices writer Chris Morgan and director Justin Lin. Justin Lin is the director of Fast five. Chris Morgan is the writer of Fast Five. And Universal wanted to keep the series going because it’s very profitable, but all the people who make it are no longer involved. So they put out an open call and Chris Morgan came in and pitched Dom Totto goes to Tokyo and he learns to Drift, and also he solves a murder. And they’re like, we like it. So they hired Justin Lin to direct more on him. In a moment, neither Paul Walker nor Vin Diesel wanted to come back. So they were like, all right, this will be like a reboot and maybe we can just do what John Carpenter envisioned with Halloween Three. Everyone is disconnected. We will just go to a different city and learn about the racing culture there. And I’ve seen people throw out the idea that there was an idea that this movie would be straight to video, but I don’t think that’s true. And this movie has an $85 million budget. It just feels like there’s an alternate universe where a different fast and Furious movie comes out straight to Red Box every year. If it didn’t,

Laci (00:40:42):

Well, if Netflix had existed when all this was happening, I’m sure it would

Matt (00:40:46):

If Vin Diesel and Paul Walker didn’t come back to the series, but it was doing very well in test screening. So Vin Diesel was persuaded to film a cameo at the end of the movie. So he does show up at the very end of the movie, and the movie also introduced the character of Hans Kang, and he is the best part of that movie. But his character dies in that movie. And so when he then goes into the Fast and Furious parts four, five, and six, they have to be like, well canonically, those movies take place before

Speaker 1 (00:41:12):

Tokyo

Matt (00:41:13):

Drift. Which is why in Fast five when we watched it last night, and Gal Gado says, where are we going, Tokyo? And Han says, no, we’ll get there eventually. And Lisa said, huh, that’s what, that’s, yeah, I’ll get to Tokyo someday when I die.

Speaker 1 (00:41:27):

God,

Matt (00:41:29):

But he’s not really dead. Don’t worry. But that’s another great thing about this series is the timelines make no sense. Fast Five is actually supposed to be taking place in a world where flip phones are still popular. Justin Lin is hired to direct Tokyo Drift, born in Taipei, Taiwan lived there for the first eight years of his life. Before moving to California, he co-directed the independent movie shopping for Fangs. And in 2002, his solo directorial debut, better Luck Tomorrow was a very well received indie film about Asian American high school students who get caught up in petty crime. I watched that movie last week. It is a great movie. I highly recommend everybody check it out. It’s kind of like a Boyle feeling, like a trainspotting kind of feeling movie.

Laci (00:42:13):

It looks like it’s got a sprinkling of a breakfast club on top. The boyfriend, the beauty, the overachiever, the mastermind, the clown, the

Matt (00:42:21):

Muscle. Yeah, you got to have all your types, but with the, it’s like, but they’re all Asian. Asian Americans can be different kinds of things.

Laci (00:42:29):

And it’s not about that.

Matt (00:42:31):

And Han from the Fast and Furious movies is technically the same character that he plays in Better Luck Tomorrow where he’s also there and he also plays Han and watching the movie. You’re like, something about that Han, I can’t take my eyes off him. I don’t know.

Laci (00:42:44):

He’s like, I Keanu,

Matt (00:42:45):

Here’s an interesting thing I learned about this movie is when this movie screened at Sundance in 2002, a person in the audience got up and chastised director Justin Lin for having Asian American characters provide poor representation for doing bad things like committing crimes. And then Roger Ebert, who was in the audience at the time, stood up and he argued back with the woman and there’s footage of it.

Speaker 6 (00:43:11):

So at the third screening at the library, this guy gets up and he praises us about the filmmaking and the performances and then so empty. I think a lot of times in films, there’s not enough discourse. And I think this was made for that and it felt good to actually get that in return. This guy feels like he has the right to tell us how we are supposed to exist in media. And then Roger Ebert gets up,

Speaker 2 (00:43:48):

I find very offensive and condescending about your statement

Speaker 1 (00:43:52):

Is nobody would say to a bunch of white filmmakers, how could you do this to your people? Yes, Phil has the right to be about these people. And Asian American characters have the right to be whoever the hell they want to be. They do not have to represent their people.

Matt (00:44:14):

It’s a historic

Laci (00:44:16):

Whoa.

Matt (00:44:16):

So yeah,

Laci (00:44:17):

I had goosebumps because I’m a nerd.

Matt (00:44:19):

Yeah, no, I mean, me too. That’s why he’s the best. And he has a great review of that movie and he was just so good at the thing he did the best was champion little movies

Speaker 1 (00:44:29):

That

Matt (00:44:29):

He would get attached to. And his whole point there is you never say to a white filmmaker, your bad white characters are misrepresenting the white race and specifically saying they don’t have to represent anything other than themselves. And I do think there is a bad trend in art recently to where I know it’s a generalization, but that if you depict something, it means that you’re endorsing it.

Speaker 1 (00:44:55):

Whereas

Matt (00:44:55):

You watch that movie and it’s very clear, these are characters who are affected by the world they live in and they’re responding to it in a certain way. It’s not saying it’s the right way to respond.

Laci (00:45:03):

It’s not saying it’s the Asian way to respond.

Matt (00:45:06):

Yeah,

Laci (00:45:06):

It’s just these people’s experience.

Matt (00:45:08):

Exactly. Alright, so they have Justin Lin, he joins the franchise, he directs Fast and Furious, 3, 4, 5, 6, and then nine, and then quit Fast and Furious 10 because he’s feuding within Diesel.

Laci (00:45:21):

Okay. I’m seeing a little trend.

Matt (00:45:24):

I’m

Laci (00:45:24):

On the rock side.

Matt (00:45:25):

This movie was the biggest hit of the franchise. The chairman of Universal at the time, Adam Fogelson, he was the executive who oversaw this series. And he said, at the time, we’ve heard so many people say I’ve never seen one and I’ve never wanted to see one about the Fast franchise. So if these movies were still about street racing, there was probably a ceiling on how many people would buy tickets. We wanted to see if we could raise it out of about racing and make car driving ability just a part of the movie. Like those great chases in the French connection, the boring identity, the Italian job, our strategy behind one of the biggest bets we’ve ever made is that the business has gone so far towards CGI Action every weekend that we really believe creating a movie with real action and real cars will be amazing stuff to people excited by seeing something real. And he was right. This did elevate it from a very profitable and popular series to being something on the level of the Marvel movies, the Transformers movies

Laci (00:46:23):

For

Matt (00:46:24):

A while. It’s been in decline

Laci (00:46:26):

In

Matt (00:46:26):

Popularity recently.

Laci (00:46:27):

How much money do they need? It’s always my question.

Matt (00:46:30):

No, I know.

Laci (00:46:30):

Look, all the money you got all done.

Matt (00:46:33):

Exactly. Are you listening, Mr. Bezos? Mr. Musk. All

Laci (00:46:37):

Done.

Matt (00:46:38):

Alright, just one more note. The rock. So yeah, this movie was released April 29th, 2011 in America, and it earned $86 million opening weekend. Two days later, a certain thing happened in the news and that was that Osama bin Laden was killed. A very early thing I remember from me and Lacey’s friendship, we were not dating yet at the time. I said like, Hey, crazy about Osama bin Laden. And you said, yeah, if you believe that that really happened. What? And at the time I was like, Lacey’s crazy. And now I’m thinking like, was Lacey on Osama?

Speaker 5 (00:47:11):

No, I

Laci (00:47:13):

Was being

Speaker 5 (00:47:13):

Influenced

Laci (00:47:14):

By a right wing husband. Yeah, I was. How

Matt (00:47:21):

Dare you? I’m say is there’s a lot of questions about how all that went down.

Laci (00:47:24):

I know, but I didn’t know any of that. I was just echoing back what I was fucking hearing.

Matt (00:47:29):

Do you remember the weird thing of the rock seeming to get word that this happened and break the news before what?

Speaker 1 (00:47:37):

No,

Matt (00:47:37):

He tweeted before Obama himself broke the news. No news Network had this news. They just said, president Obama will be making an announcement later tonight. And then Dwayne Johnson tweeted, just got word that will shock the world, land of the free home of the brave Damn proud to be an American.

Speaker 2 (00:47:57):

He

Laci (00:47:58):

Didn’t say anything,

Matt (00:47:59):

I guess, but he clearly knew what was coming.

Laci (00:48:02):

It could just be that he was getting another movie.

Matt (00:48:04):

Oh, you might be right. And then one other wrestling connection. Later that night, John Cena had to break the news to a crowd compromised to a permanent end

Laci (00:48:15):

In the world of wrestling. Everybody. To be clear, in the world of wrestling, we’ve been able to do Yeah, I know. What do they think? What do we think he’s saying? Right? They’re going to bring him out his head, show us his head. When is news like this or news ever been broken and it’s real. But does he do? He goes, time out, time out, guys, guys, time out. Time out. This is the real me.

Matt (00:48:39):

No, I know. And he’s speaking in his wrestling cadence.

Laci (00:48:41):

Right? That’s

Matt (00:48:42):

The thing. Whenever something real happens in wrestling, it’s always awkward like they have to be

Laci (00:48:48):

Kayfabe is when something is in the storyline. Yes. What is it when it’s out

Matt (00:48:53):

A shoot?

Laci (00:48:54):

He just did a shoot.

Matt (00:48:56):

He technically did a shoot, but it sounded like it was kayfabe. Yeah, there’s wrestlers like Roman res, the Rock’s cousin had to announce he had cancer, leukemia

Laci (00:49:08):

And he’s got it in a headlock

Matt (00:49:11):

And he did suddenly start speaking in a more human voice as he went on. Okay.

Laci (00:49:17):

He had to announce it that way

Matt (00:49:19):

And he didn’t have to do it. That’s just how he announced it. I don’t know.

Laci (00:49:22):

It’s

Matt (00:49:22):

Just a funny thing about wrestling. So that’s the history of fast fight.

Speaker 5 (00:49:24):

Yeah. Cancer’s fun.

Matt (00:49:59):

All right. We opened by checking in on the last movie where Dom Teretta was abruptly sentenced to 35 years in prison. But then is it being transported to prison? What’s that? Two cars pulling up beside the prison bus. One Driven by Brian, one by Mia. And they do some car shenanigans. The bus overturns. Lacey’s like, but what about the other prisoners? Don’t worry, the newscasters will tell us in a second.

Laci (00:50:20):

I know, but they famously do not buckle up prisoners. They just put their hands, they would’ve ripped off limbs. Those guys would’ve been fucked.

Matt (00:50:28):

Yeah, they just say they didn’t die. It doesn’t

Laci (00:50:30):

Mean all they said they’re not limbs everywhere won’t be able to wipe their ass.

Matt (00:50:36):

But right away we see the beauty of these movies, an actual bus getting overturned. No, CGI shenanigans and then fast five on screen per happily from Parks and Rec is a newscaster. He’s like, it’s going to rain. New news happening on the freeway, a bus overturned, but don’t worry, no one died.

Laci (00:50:54):

Okay. I love that. They give you, they bother to tell you no one died here, but then they go ahead and kill everyone else in the fucking movie.

Matt (00:51:02):

And I love that when they’re killing all these cops at the end, Mia, on the walkies, like guys, every corrupt cop in Brazil is after you. Now

Speaker 5 (00:51:12):

We’re sure. Don’t worry. Kill them all. I know they’re corrupt. It’s fine.

Matt (00:51:18):

I took a small bribe from the warlord who runs my neighborhood.

Speaker 5 (00:51:22):

I

Matt (00:51:22):

Deserve to die.

Speaker 5 (00:51:23):

Right.

Matt (00:51:24):

So nationwide manhunt underway for Dom Totto, his sister and disgraced Exed Brian O’Connor. But despite every eye in the country looking for them, where they are is anyone’s guess.

Laci (00:51:36):

Now we get to Rio where we find out that Jesus loves you this much

Matt (00:51:42):

Cut to the beautiful helicopter shot of Rio de Janeiro.

Laci (00:51:45):

You’ve never seen it before.

Matt (00:51:48):

Great second unit work in this movie showing beautiful Rio. Most of this movie was filmed in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Laci (00:51:53):

Oh, okay.

Matt (00:51:54):

But Brian and Mia, they’re driving, how long have they, they’ve been driving all the way from America.

Laci (00:51:59):

They’ve been driving so long that they’re dirty. Is the inside of your car just full of dirt? What have you been doing?

Matt (00:52:06):

And that they’re now in a car where the driver’s side is on the other side. And presumably

Laci (00:52:13):

They’ve been driving that long

Matt (00:52:15):

And I was at first judging them for like, you’re stopping to have unprotected sex, but what else are you going to be doing this

Speaker 2 (00:52:22):

Whole time? Oh the fuck. You got to stop.

Matt (00:52:24):

They arrive in the favelas and some armed tufts cocked their guns at them before a guy shouts in Portuguese. Hey, they’re cool.

Laci (00:52:32):

I will say they walked several steps into that situation more than I would’ve just a lot of guns. They’re like, there’s only three. Let’s keep, okay, there’s four.

Matt (00:52:42):

This has got to be the place. Right? Yeah.

Laci (00:52:45):

What place

Matt (00:52:47):

Were

Laci (00:52:47):

They looking for him?

Matt (00:52:48):

Yeah, Vince from the first movie.

Laci (00:52:50):

Okay. We’ve been not told they’re going to find him there.

Matt (00:52:53):

And guys in the first movie, he and Brian refuting and he calls him a buster, but turns out there’s nothing but love. Now they

Laci (00:53:00):

Love each other. I don’t know about that, but it’s fine.

Matt (00:53:04):

Dom has not arrived yet. Vince last heard from him. He was up in Ecuador doing stuff. I don’t know. But

Laci (00:53:13):

Paul is, I’m sorry. Brian is still, well, we don’t know if it’s because it’s this guy, but he’s definitely got his prickles up. He still has his cop senses, so he does. He feels like something’s not right. And I’m still unclear if Vince was on the right side of this the whole time or if he comes back around.

Matt (00:53:33):

I think yes, he’s been on the right side the whole time. But you are right to be unclear on that.

Laci (00:53:38):

The movie

Matt (00:53:38):

Doesn’t do a good job. Well,

Laci (00:53:39):

So then what? I think Brian is first suspicious that Vince knows he’s not on the right side of something. And then I think what it is is Vince doesn’t realize until it’s happening that, oh fuck, I don’t really know what I got myself into or everyone else into. I thought these were some cars were going to boost. I did not know these were CIAS assets or whatever the fuck it is. Whatever. Right? CIA tags. Right.

Matt (00:54:04):

D-E-A-D-E-A

Laci (00:54:04):

Tags. Right? He just thought there’s a bunch of cool cars

Matt (00:54:09):

And it would be easy money, easy. We just steal the cars.

Laci (00:54:12):

He says easy money and then smash cut. They’re on train like, well, number one, they already had to buy a train ticket. They were dirty, so they had to take a bath. This does not feel easy. I’m just saying

Matt (00:54:20):

No, it’s not easy. They eat a bunch of food prepared by Vince’s, Brazilian wife. Then the ladies wash the dishes. That’s what ladies do. And then also they’re talking about her baby. This is a baby. Oh, I love this baby. Can I put him? Can

Laci (00:54:31):

I hold your baby?

Matt (00:54:32):

Can I put the baby to sleep now?

Laci (00:54:34):

Because that’s a fucking thing. And

Matt (00:54:36):

This baby is dressed. I said when we were watching, it looks like he’s dressed to go to court.

Laci (00:54:41):

He’s in corduroys and a tucked in shirt, not a connected one piece, just a button up, tucked in shirt for an eight month old.

Matt (00:54:50):

I thought it was like a 2-year-old and they just put him in his bed.

Laci (00:54:52):

No, tiny, totally

Matt (00:54:53):

Awake.

Laci (00:54:53):

Like, all right, well that’s how you put him. I’m ready to give birth. I know how to do this. And then it’s at nighttime guys. So I just want to point out, this is not morning sickness, it is nighttime. And she goes and pukes and she’s the flattest stomach you ever could see. And the woman goes up to her, you know how we smell birth and have you told him yet? Bitch, you’re assuming a lot. I could just be throwing up your food.

Matt (00:55:19):

No, but she’s correct. She can sense it.

Laci (00:55:21):

It’s stupid.

Matt (00:55:22):

There’s either

Laci (00:55:22):

Women can’t sense these things.

Matt (00:55:24):

It’s either well, but that’s because women have become too modern and they’ve entered the workforce too much. You need to be back at home or you’re more attuned to these things. Or maybe the movie’s saying like American women can’t tell this, but real women like the Brazilian women, they know those are real women.

Speaker 5 (00:55:41):

Okay,

Matt (00:55:42):

So yeah. Mia, she’s pregnant. She got pregnant by Brian during their escapades. Does Brian know? No, I haven’t told him yet. Alright, so now it’s time to do the easy money

Laci (00:55:54):

Also, did you go to the doctor? You’ve been on the road. How do you know? I mean, I guess you’ve missed your period. So you haven’t been eating, you haven’t been bathing. Maybe you’re stressed. I’m just saying

Matt (00:56:05):

A lot of reasons in that situation, your period could be not coming. Yes,

Laci (00:56:08):

You’re right.

Matt (00:56:10):

So yeah, it’s a train through the countryside. And Mia is looking at a travel guide and Brian’s like, what are you looking at? Whatcha reading over there? He looks, he’s like, huh, Tokyo Kong, Kong. All those things are on the

Laci (00:56:25):

Same page. Brian,

Matt (00:56:27):

He’s just flipping through

Laci (00:56:27):

Saying the names of Steve. Yeah, just saying headings. It was on the train. It was in the backseat of the fucking train. I don’t know. I just grabbed it. That’s like taking the fucking airplane catalog out my hand. And in case of an emergency exits, what are you reading?

Matt (00:56:45):

Tampa with Disabled Destroy. I don’t get it. So she’s like, what all these cities have in common, no extradition treaties, which I don’t think is true of Japan. I think you can get it extradited from Japan. But you

Laci (00:56:57):

Keep saying that. But did you look it up while you’re over there?

Matt (00:57:00):

I was afraid to Google

Laci (00:57:00):

That Skirmishing, her good name skirmish.

Matt (00:57:03):

Can you get extradited from Japan?

Laci (00:57:04):

Smishing her scrumming, none of those words.

Matt (00:57:09):

Yes, Japan does expedite.

Laci (00:57:11):

Okay. Well, it’s interesting that you only think Japan will. Can you please do all three now? No,

Matt (00:57:14):

I know that Hong Kong and Moscow don’t extradite. That’s where Edward Snowden went first to Hong Kong, then to Moscow.

Laci (00:57:20):

Well, they learned,

Matt (00:57:21):

Yeah, you’ve got monsters among you. You have to go to America’s adversaries.

Laci (00:57:26):

You’re creating kind of a reputation.

Matt (00:57:29):

They’re on this train. They find the compartment with the supercars, and then their buddies pull up in a vehicle real fast next to the train. Looks

Laci (00:57:39):

Like a Mad Max type of vehicle.

Matt (00:57:42):

And they cut open the thing, and then Vin Diesel steps into the frame.

Laci (00:57:48):

That’s why he had a soldering fricking thing to put on Brian’s face. He soldered the side of the trail. I’m like, why does he have that tool with him when he has that fire thing that he tries to, because it fucks me up thinking about someone hurting you with a fucking soldering flame.

Matt (00:58:06):

Oh, in this fighting sequence. Okay. Yes,

Laci (00:58:08):

Yes. Why was that? Just on the, why did you have that? And I’m like, ah. That’s how you opened the fucking train side.

Matt (00:58:15):

And so we have the very cool sequence of them getting the cars out one by one. And I really love the way they yank them out. I could just watch videos of that, of cars getting yanked, yanked onto the tow truck thing that’s driving real fast. And then their job is to get in the car. It gets lowered onto the ground, and then they have to drive it real fast away into the,

Laci (00:58:37):

I hit a curb and I fuck up my car. So I don’t understand how these cars are made.

Matt (00:58:40):

I’ve seen this movie so many times and I cannot, I know the plot is pretty simple, but there’s still parts of it that fuck me up. Okay, so they get betrayed here because the cars are DEA tags, and then these guys show up and start shooting at him. So Vin Diesel easily overpowers them with his fists and then gets his sister out of there.

Laci (00:59:01):

Well, what was supposed to happen? The car that the DEA is after is the one that’s got the delivery list. Wait, so it’s almost like the, I know what it is. The DEA found these stolen cars, they’re taking them back to the United States. They just think or wherever they’re going, they just think they’re going to compound. You can’t have these cars that are not yours. They’re taking them. What they don’t realize is that one of those cars is for the delivery person or the bag person

Matt (00:59:33):

That

Laci (00:59:34):

Goes from cash house to cash house to get bad guys money. So it’s like, it’d be fine if you took our stolen car back, but we’re going to need that chip because if you find that you find the key to our entire enterprise. So bad guy of Brazil hires these scruffy guys to just go get the chip back and the car back. But mainly it was just the chip. So I don’t think anyone on the mission knew there’s a chip. He just was like, no, go get my cars back. And they just happened to go away with the one he really, really wanted and pissed him off.

Matt (01:00:10):

Why did they, what goes wrong here? Why did they turn on each other?

Laci (01:00:17):

What happens right before he starts P Ping? I don’t fucking, I don’t get it. I don’t know.

Matt (01:00:23):

Anyway, they turn on each other. Vin Diesel easily overpowers them. Mia gets away, but now Brian and Dom are trapped on the train. They got to make it out. Brian does get out somehow and then comes back in the tow truck. Anyway, VIN and Paul Walker get away in this cool car, but they run out of space and have to drive over the side of a cliff and just a really cool stunt where they jump out of the car and into the water.

Speaker 5 (01:00:50):

But it’s great because Vin Diesel’s totally not in the right position to eject himself from the car. So the cut is funny there where he is just, I’m sitting, no, I’m not.

Matt (01:01:00):

They land in the water by the quarry and Vin Diesel’s like bad, bad job. Brian O’Connor. Bad job. And then they immediately get captured by the bad guy, Hernan Reyes’s men and takes him to his saw jigsaw torture chamber.

Laci (01:01:14):

They’re being hung and they can’t even stand on their feet. Ouch.

Matt (01:01:18):

And they’re like, listen, this is business is business, but I really need that car and I really need that chip. So tell me where it is. And Dom’s like, I won’t tell you. I’m like, okay, well then we’re going to torch you. Alright, see you later. He leaves Dom and fucking Brian.

Laci (01:01:34):

Brian,

Matt (01:01:36):

Why can I not get his name? Dom and Brian escaped this so easily and the movie cuts so quickly.

Laci (01:01:42):

I mean, the diesel just goes pop right out of his chains. The chains that are managing to hold up his fucking 300 pound ass this whole time. But if he wants to, you can just go stop it, open those chains, and then you wrap your legs around someone’s head and then you got it.

Matt (01:01:58):

But it’s one thing for them to do all of that very easily for the movie to just not even bother to show you most of it, like yada yada. You get it. They escape. It’s almost impressive. You don’t need to see that none of your business. Mia is back at their super secret hideout. Brian and Dom make it back and Brian says, we killed some feds. The feds are going to send their best guys after us. The heat will never be hotter. So we got to get out of here. But Dom is like, no one thing. We know for sure they want this car once they know the deal with this car. But

Laci (01:02:33):

Wait. But the whole reason Dom is upset is because this was a bad job to take. It was too hot. Why’d you get on this job? Well, money was tight. We just really need to get on this job. So why are you extending the job?

Matt (01:02:46):

That’s what the

Laci (01:02:47):

Totto does. Go to the next place if you’re aggravated.

Matt (01:02:50):

Nope, got to know what we’re up against.

Laci (01:02:54):

Nothing if you leave the fucking turn the car in. But the killing of the FBI agents was pinned on the three Americans.

Matt (01:03:05):

Ah, yes,

Laci (01:03:05):

That’s true. And it wasn’t them who killed them. So it’s like they just got a lot more heat on them than just getting Vin Diesel a out of prison. So I guess they need to, they don’t say it, but they need to exonerate their name. They end up doing it on accident because it just turns out to be about the money after they find out what is on the chip. But I am assuming the first reason is just like, no, no, no, we just got in big, big trouble.

Matt (01:03:34):

If they’re going to be targeted by the feds, then they need a lot more money. We need to,

Laci (01:03:38):

And information

Matt (01:03:39):

Have so much money that they actually can’t touch us. So they’re sending their best guy. We finally meet the Rock as Luke Hobbs. The reason we’re covering this movie now, he of course works for DSS department of the diplomatic security service. This is a real thing.

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):

Okay.

Matt (01:03:57):

Okay. So the diplomatic security service, it operates in all countries where America has a diplomatic presence. That seems kind of weird.

Laci (01:04:06):

Wait, so it is a real thing?

Matt (01:04:07):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, this would’ve meant his boss at the time, Hillary Clinton. But yeah, just gets to go into any country and basically have the run place.

Laci (01:04:16):

He’s an extricate.

Matt (01:04:18):

Sure.

Laci (01:04:18):

Is that what it is? He’s not DEA. He doesn’t care about the cars. No,

Matt (01:04:21):

He does not work for the DA.

Laci (01:04:22):

He is upset about the killing of federal agents. So he’s there to go get the people who did it. Yes.

Matt (01:04:27):

Okay. Yes.

Laci (01:04:28):

Look at his, he’s like the version of just a plane vehicle, but you put the little cop hat on it and all of a sudden it’s a wee wooo. We woo. Look at this little badge. I’m not going to wear your stupid fucking

Speaker 5 (01:04:40):

Outfit fully

Matt (01:04:41):

Bald. Now

Speaker 5 (01:04:42):

Just give me a tiny badge, please. Fully

Matt (01:04:44):

Bald, a black goatee

Laci (01:04:47):

To

Matt (01:04:47):

Show you. This guy’s kind of a bad guy. Okay. I mean, what do you think of him in this movie?

Laci (01:04:54):

Sexy.

Matt (01:04:56):

Anything else?

Laci (01:04:57):

I mean, they give him a couple too many cheesy, okay, Tommy Lee Jones can pull it off in the fugitive when you’re like, I need every fuckhead bitch face, mother motherfucking outhouse here from there to Detroit. That all works for him. I believe him. Now, when the rock’s trying to deliver these lines, I think they should give him some stuff he actually wants to say like Moana type stuff. I feel like when he’s being a little smart ass there, there’s a little bit more of a lightness to it. It works better for him. He’s good as a badass, but it is his ability to add some levity that makes him my favorite. So I think there’s maybe a little too hard of an edge on him in this. And that’s why you’re so relieved when you get that big smile at the end. He’s just a little bit too much, too macho. His natural thing is that he is self-deprecating and silly. I don’t need him to be that here.

Matt (01:05:57):

For whatever reason, him leaning into the cop cliche saying stuff, I want to eat my vegetables first or whatever.

Laci (01:06:03):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels unnatural what he’s saying.

Matt (01:06:08):

Well, I think that at the time this was received, finally, this is what I’ve been waiting to see from him.

Laci (01:06:13):

It feels

Matt (01:06:14):

Just play a total badass who is not.

Laci (01:06:18):

And that’s my point. It doesn’t come out badass. It comes out as him doing an impression of a badass. There’s something in it that’s not him enough for him to totally embody it.

Matt (01:06:27):

So this cop, this Brazilian cop who identifies himself as the chief of police of Rio de Janeiro of one of the five biggest cities in the world.

Laci (01:06:35):

And he’s dressed like a fucking boy scout with all his little badges,

Matt (01:06:38):

But he’s like, Mr. Federal agents sir. And Hobbes is immediately like, yeah, fuck off. I don’t need you. America’s here, bitch. So I need two things, a translator, a specific one, Elena Neve.

Laci (01:06:50):

And for you to stay the fuck out of my

Matt (01:06:52):

Way. What’s the other thing? Stay the fuck out of my way.

Laci (01:06:54):

But he’s very intuitive, smart cop. He knew who to pick. You’re thinking like, oh, what a fucking scumbag. He wants the hot lady. No, no, no. She has a dead husband due to these fucking corrupt guys. She’s only been on the force for a couple years. That’s not enough time to buyer. How long does it take to slip someone? A 20? Not long.

Matt (01:07:14):

He’s natural born police as bunk Morlin would say.

Laci (01:07:17):

I don’t know who that guy is.

Matt (01:07:18):

Yes, you do.

Laci (01:07:19):

Oh, bunk from wire. The wireless wire

Matt (01:07:22):

From wire. So Vince returns. But do we trust Vince? I don’t know

Laci (01:07:26):

Brian. No, because it took a little too long to get back to the safe house. Who were you talking to? Who did you rat on us

Matt (01:07:32):

And yeah, so Brian is rightly suspicious, but Dom is like, he said he didn’t do anything wrong. O’Connor, go walk it all. Walk your suspicions off. This is the most football coach Dom Totto ever is in the series.

Laci (01:07:45):

He tries to sit helmet’s, not a chair

Matt (01:07:47):

Over and over with the

Laci (01:07:49):

Yeah, he’s definitely shock caller.

Matt (01:07:52):

But later that night, Tom catches Vince examining the car and pulling a chip out.

Laci (01:07:57):

I almost wish you almost did the impression I got this. I almost wish stop it. I almost wish I didn’t see that, but I did,

Matt (01:08:12):

Brother. Yeah, I mean, Vince is like, I had to secretly pull out the chip because if I can return this to them, I’ll get the heat off of all of us. Why could he not just tell Dom that? Unclear. But he’s like, listen, just give me the chip. I’ll give it to Ray. It’ll set things right. But Dom is like, no, I never want to want to see you again. Rock it off. So Vince is walk off my anger and Vince is like, you never trust me. Look where it’s gotten us. Look at our family

Speaker 5 (01:08:42):

Now. If city names everything wrong that’s ever happened to them in any movie and none of that has to do with them not trusting him.

Matt (01:08:48):

Well, it’s a good way to get the heat off yourself.

Laci (01:08:52):

Well, a good way to give us a little recap of where we stand.

Matt (01:08:54):

Yeah, we can’t go home. Your sister is stuck in this life.

Laci (01:08:57):

In the life.

Matt (01:08:57):

And where’s Letty? Dumb? Where’s Letty?

Laci (01:09:00):

The bottom of the ocean. I don’t actually know.

Matt (01:09:04):

Hernan Reyes. Joachim de Alida, the villain of the movie Slumlord runs the favelas and slum Lord. And he explains, yeah,

Laci (01:09:16):

He’s not a landlord. It’s all going to be a slumlord.

Matt (01:09:18):

A slumlord one who runs the slums.

Laci (01:09:22):

He doesn’t own all the buildings, he just runs the city.

Matt (01:09:25):

He runs the favelas. What’s

Laci (01:09:27):

A favela?

Matt (01:09:29):

The huts and stuff. All the little houses. Reyes Slumlord who runs the favelas, he explains to these guys who visit him, he’s like, gentlemen, your methods of running your countries are too violent for me. Here is my philosophy. And he gives this thing about the Spanish and the Portuguese both came to Brazil, but the Spanish got kicked out immediately because they came in guns blazing. I prefer the Portuguese method. They came with trinkets, mirrors and goggles and snorkel and stuff that the natives couldn’t get

Laci (01:09:59):

Key chains with everyone’s name on them,

Matt (01:10:00):

But to keep getting them, they had to work for them. And that’s what I do

Laci (01:10:05):

Trinkets.

Matt (01:10:06):

I play the long game. Now, either this movie has this sort of undercurrent of examining imperialism in the form of

Laci (01:10:17):

You kept seeing glimpses,

Matt (01:10:18):

The rock coming in as an American agent and being able to dismiss the chief of police of the city being able to kill with impunity on foreign soil. But then I thought, is this supposed to be a thing, the rock where Hobbes is the Spanish and Dom is the Portuguese? Because they do things like they’ll steal gas, but then give it out to the neighborhood. Yeah, they’re the good way to do colonialism. You have to give people good stuff and then they work for you.

Laci (01:10:49):

Yes. But are the Tarantino, Torontos Tarantinos, the to

Matt (01:10:54):

Torontos Totos,

Laci (01:10:55):

The Totos, but are the totos not just more like Robin Hoods not really trying to conquer anything, right?

Matt (01:11:00):

They’re

Laci (01:11:00):

Just trying to live their way. A life family.

Matt (01:11:03):

Okay. Yeah. Well, but I mean, there’s a reason this is in here and there’s a

Laci (01:11:07):

Reason. And I feel like they just didn’t follow through. Yeah, because they leave it alone here. Wait, who says that line though? Her. Her the

Matt (01:11:16):

Bad guy?

Laci (01:11:17):

No, no, no.

Matt (01:11:18):

Oh,

Laci (01:11:18):

They do this. But they do that. But they do this.

Matt (01:11:20):

Yeah. Elena’s the one who said,

Laci (01:11:21):

Well, that’s because she’s already had her life saved by fucking Vin. And so she sees something, she’s a people person match. She could read people. He’s not like just your regular fucking thug or criminal. He’s not trying to out Reyes. Reyes. He’s something different. So she looked into his stuff and found there’s some discrepancy here and they’re doing bad things, but they don’t seem bad. She’s just trying to rationalize why she’s got the hots for him. That’s it.

Matt (01:11:48):

Okay. So she’s okay, so that’s not true. So we don’t have to,

Laci (01:11:51):

And I think she’s trying to get a little heat off of, I don’t, she doesn’t want them going in guns blazing when they do catch up with them. I think she wants ’em to live.

Matt (01:11:58):

Yeah. This is Elena Neve played by Elsa Pataki. She’s a big character in this franchise going forward. Hobbs explains, he chose her because she’s a new cop. She joined the force after her husband was murdered. He’s the only cop in Rio who can’t be bought.

Laci (01:12:12):

She’s the only cop in Rio.

Matt (01:12:13):

She did I say he?

Laci (01:12:14):

Yep.

Matt (01:12:15):

She is the only cop in.

Laci (01:12:16):

I just didn’t want to sound like the husband was.

Matt (01:12:18):

Yeah. They get some intel that can lead them to somewhere in the favelas. So they fucking, they go, they get in their very heavily armed trucks, a foreign power invading Brazil and just going to the

Laci (01:12:31):

Favelas, not the width of the favelas streets, but fine, just

Matt (01:12:34):

Running over everything.

Laci (01:12:35):

Every mailbox gone

Matt (01:12:37):

And they go in with their enormous guns. The native Brazilians of the favelas all have guns too, but the rocks, we have bigger guns. And then they all walk away and he’s like, I thought so.

Laci (01:12:49):

Okay. So that happens. But then later to fucking bait them away so that ludicrous can go do something. Vinny, what is his name?

Matt (01:13:01):

Dom.

Laci (01:13:01):

Dom and Brian lure him out and all of his guys, three truck full of guys, completely protected by Kevlar to a street event with cars, and they pull out all their guns again. But then all the car guys pull out their guns and the guy’s like, oh, this is too much heat. Let’s go. There’s

Matt (01:13:20):

Way more car guys with

Laci (01:13:21):

Guns than there are

Matt (01:13:22):

Thugs.

Laci (01:13:23):

Okay. The favelas are layered. Who knows how many guns are up. That’s true. It’s silly. It’s silly.

Matt (01:13:28):

But again, there is something with the imperialism or with the colonialism of we can just go into the favelas with our machine guns and stuff, and

Laci (01:13:36):

We’re not getting any id. I’m just going to shoot with the imperity over here.

Matt (01:13:40):

Brian, meanwhile hacks into the mainframe of the chip and he’s like, Hey, look, it’s GPS locations of all these places. I mean, I guess this is like if you’re going to go somewhere and I pre-program it into ways for you,

Laci (01:13:50):

That’s all it is.

Matt (01:13:51):

A step. Yeah. It’s like, huh, what do all these locations mean? We got to figure it out. But then Ray is this bad guys arrive at the same time as Hobbes’s guys show up. So there’s just a big chase through the favelas. We get the very fun.

Laci (01:14:06):

We really just want to jump around like Aladdin

Matt (01:14:08):

On the

Laci (01:14:08):

Rooftop,

Matt (01:14:09):

There’s some parkour, fun action sequence to chase through the favelas. And Dom eventually runs into Elena and she’s like, I’ve got you. You’re under arrest. But then some gangsters show up and he pushes her out of the way to safety.

Laci (01:14:23):

And then his very normal necklace falls off his

Matt (01:14:26):

Enormous, enormous cross.

Laci (01:14:27):

Here’s his six inch radius diamond and crusted crucifix

Matt (01:14:32):

Holds up. She makes the very normal decision to then herself start wearing it. Not turning into the,

Laci (01:14:35):

Okay. But we don’t know that yet. We don’t know that yet. Because she wants to signal to him like, Hey, what’s going on with you? What’s up with you? Do you like my lady’s necklace? Do you like that? I know that this is another lady’s necklace. This thing bigger than my left hit that This is definitely something I wear to mass on Saturdays. Huh? Huh. Fucking weird ass wardrobe choice.

Matt (01:14:56):

Do you like the favela chase?

Laci (01:14:58):

Sure. I feel like I’ve seen a version of this a million times.

Matt (01:15:01):

Alright,

Laci (01:15:01):

It’s fine. I mean, I don’t mind it. I’m not a huge action sequence person. I do like the vault. I like stuff I haven’t seen. This is fine. I know where this is going. There’s not going to be anything new at the end of this. There’s just a lot of gentlemen.

Matt (01:15:20):

Okay, well fine.

Laci (01:15:21):

It doesn’t bore me

Matt (01:15:24):

A ringing endorsement. I don’t mind it. It doesn’t bore

Laci (01:15:26):

Me. The heroes. I like the movie for other reasons. The

Matt (01:15:29):

Heroes. Heroes escape through the sewers. Sewers. And Tom is like, we need to split up. But me is like, no, we can’t. We have to see it together. I’m pregnant. And Paul Walker has just the most wooden delivery of, are you kidding me?

Speaker 5 (01:15:44):

I think it’s perfect.

Matt (01:15:45):

You kidding me?

Speaker 5 (01:15:45):

You kidding me?

Matt (01:15:46):

But that’s what’s charming about him. Yes, this is a wooden guy who can’t act, but he’s a wooden human who can’t be human. Just a corn fed American like, oh geez, pregnant. No fooling.

Laci (01:15:59):

He’s so attractive though.

Matt (01:16:01):

And Dom, I mean just his emotional erection. His family erection is just another wall got bigger and he hugs them both.

Laci (01:16:12):

It is a little bit offputting the way that Dom’s always looking at his sister sleeping and fucking thinking about her having a baby and what it took to get that baby inside of her. I don’t know. I just feel like he likes his sister too much.

Matt (01:16:24):

Well, there’s something like feudal about it, like F-E-U-D-A-L. The point of sisters is you exchange them to another family to make alliances, but crucially, they need to go fuck your sister and put a baby inside her. That’s how you seal the deal. All right. Well Elena,

Laci (01:16:41):

It’s hard being a sister.

Matt (01:16:43):

Elena is doing some research on Totto and O’Connor. She’s like, I don’t know. It’s like they’re criminals, but they have hearts of gold. That’s what my research is telling me. And the rock is like, I don’t give a fuck about their hearts. I want their dicks on a plate. And then here is where he hears that Hernan Reyes, the biggest gangster in town is involved. And he’s like, who’s that? It’s like, you have totally been briefed about all of this

Laci (01:17:05):

Before. Did you have a folder? Did you get some sort of printout,

Matt (01:17:08):

Even

Laci (01:17:08):

A map quest, anything?

Matt (01:17:11):

We have the, yeah, Mia is asleep and they go out onto the porch and Brian, it’s catnip for Dom. What do you remember about your father? He’s like, my father barbecue. You didn’t go to church. You don’t get barbecue.

Laci (01:17:23):

You don’t kid no food. He would starve people who didn’t believe the way he did. And

Matt (01:17:27):

Specifically, you had to go to our Catholic church.

Laci (01:17:30):

If he didn’t see you there, he didn’t put the community in your mouth. No.

Matt (01:17:34):

You know how my ethnicity is ambiguous and you can’t really tell what it is. You had to find that specific church and go to it. And then my dad would have a roster and check you off and then you got barbecue. I remember everything about my father.

Laci (01:17:47):

So sweet. And then he would teach Mia because Mia was dumb as shit. And he’d learn the lessons before she had to know them because again, dumb as shit. He didn’t have to teach me nothing smart as shit, but her fucking dumb.

Matt (01:17:59):

And here’s where we can also see sort of the conservative ethos of these movies is, well, one religion, very Catholic, these movies and I like movies to have a perspective. And father was a working class person who didn’t complain. He did the work, he grinded and he worked his ass off and he stayed up all night to take care of his kid.

Laci (01:18:20):

Well, I do appreciate that. That’s not his only value. They at least say that the value of a dad is being a dad. A caregiver, not a financial supporter

Speaker 1 (01:18:32):

That

Laci (01:18:32):

At least is sure that’s conservative, but at least it’s not. They understand the mental stability of the child going forward relies on the parent actually loving you. Not just giving you barbecue and food and money,

Matt (01:18:46):

But to look at this and say that the thing that worked is this wasn’t a community, it was a family. It’s not like the whole community looked out for each other. It’s like my dad looked out for the neighborhood kids. So there is something kind of family values, conservative about that versus something that was more community oriented. We all played our role in this bigger community. There’s nothing about a community. It’s all just my individual family unit. I

Laci (01:19:15):

Feel like it’s kind of implied, but alright,

Matt (01:19:18):

This is where Brian’s like, you know what? I need to have a cookout with my kids. So we can’t keep running Dom.

Laci (01:19:25):

No. Brian’s like, that’s the thing. I don’t remember anything about my dad. Nothing. The way he looked, the way he smelled, the way he voted. Well, nothing. And then Dom is like, you’re not going to be nothing like your father. And that’s it. That’s it. That’s all that happens. We got to stop running. He does that part.

Matt (01:19:43):

We got to stop running

Laci (01:19:44):

One last big.

Matt (01:19:45):

Well, here’s what we’ll do. One last job

Laci (01:19:47):

Where maybe both of you die.

Matt (01:19:50):

We’re going to steal all of Ray’s money every last time of it. We’re going to disappear forever. And Paul Walker’s like new lives, new passports. We’re going to just disappear. You realize we’re going to go up against the most powerful man in Rio. We’re going to need a team. So here’s what we’re going to need. We’re going to need a chameleon. Someone who can blend in anywhere. I know the guy.

Speaker 5 (01:20:13):

I haven’t seen any chameleon.

Matt (01:20:15):

Yeah, that’s Han Sung Kang.

Speaker 5 (01:20:17):

Okay.

Matt (01:20:17):

We need a fast talker. Someone who can bullshit their way out of anything. That’s Roman Tyrese Gibson. We’re need someone who’s good with circuits. That’s tej ludicrous. We’re going to need guys who could punch through walls. That’s Leo Enc Santos.

Laci (01:20:30):

That’s people with fucking drills and hammers.

Matt (01:20:32):

Yeah.

Laci (01:20:33):

Got ’em. Got ’em.

Matt (01:20:34):

Utilities and weapons. Someone who ain’t afraid to throw down someone to back up every position. That’s Giselle gal Gadot

Laci (01:20:41):

For some fucking reason.

Matt (01:20:43):

And she fucking stinks. She’s no good in this movie.

Laci (01:20:47):

She does nothing. And she’s way too well, nevermind.

Matt (01:20:50):

I mean, I guess the reason, the only thing she’s ever been good in is Wonder Woman and she doesn’t have to talk that much.

Laci (01:20:56):

She’s good at action. I believe her in the car. I I’m supposed to be blown away at her and her bikini. I’m not.

Matt (01:21:04):

Yeah. What’s funny about this movie is the sort of haphazard way this series evolved where each one was kind of a reboot onto itself. Is this the movie that’s like everybody likes those movies. Well just put ’em all together. So this is kind of an Avengers. A year before the actual Avengers movie came out of a crossover, everybody’s together and from here on out, this will be the team. They’ll all be together all the time. And what kind of recon, it seemed like we were always all together all the time. Even though this is where Dominic Totto meets, meets Roman and Taj, they act like in the next movies they grew up together.

Laci (01:21:42):

You only need one big score and then your

Matt (01:21:44):

That’s true, that’s true.

Laci (01:21:45):

Your bread brothers,

Matt (01:21:47):

They all arrive in the factory or wherever it is and they’re like,

Laci (01:21:50):

I don’t know where they’re sleeping. The sister only has a chair. So where the fuck are these guys sleeping?

Matt (01:21:54):

I don’t know. In

Laci (01:21:55):

The cars, they all have a lot of cars. Matt, they can sit in the back, they can sleep in the backseat.

Matt (01:21:58):

I don’t know. But also he gave them all the address to this place. What is this place? How did they get this place?

Laci (01:22:04):

Warehouse slash Brazil Vela.

Matt (01:22:08):

So they see the sexy lady of Gal Gadot and they’re like, Hey, sexy legs, baby girl.

Laci (01:22:14):

Open ’em up.

Matt (01:22:15):

What time do they open and fucking pulls out a gun immediately. He’s a Palestinian child. He is like pull these three girls. The deal is there’s 10 cash houses all throughout the city. That’s how Reyes keeps the parts of his organization disconnected, keeps the cash

Laci (01:22:33):

In cash houses out of the banks

Matt (01:22:35):

Crucially. And it totals a hundred million dollars. We’ll take it all and then split it 11 ways or split it however many ways evenly. But as soon, the problem is as soon as they rob one of the safe houses, Reyes is going to consolidate or he’s going to move the money around. He’s like, okay, yeah, we’re counting on this. They’re going to consolidate it. So first they go to the first cash house and instead of fucking stealing the money, they light it on fire like the damn joker.

Laci (01:23:03):

Right. Which then begs the question, so did everyone’s cut just go down? Right?

Matt (01:23:08):

Did

Laci (01:23:08):

We factor this in?

Matt (01:23:09):

I know.

Laci (01:23:09):

Okay.

Matt (01:23:11):

You tell your boss exactly who did this? Tell the more comment,

Laci (01:23:15):

Why not take all of it and then get a stogie and then get 100 bill and light on fire like the sto be like, tell ’em what I did here. I’m going to take the rest

Matt (01:23:25):

And I’m going to do it to the rest. I

Laci (01:23:27):

Promise I’m going to one stokey at a time.

Matt (01:23:29):

I’ll send you video proof. You see Shutterstock image over a video of cash burning.

Laci (01:23:38):

Okay. But okay, now they’re all just in different locations making sure that someone leaves a cash house where they’re assuming they’re making the move. They saw a couple duffle bags. Sure enough, Reyes is moving all of his cash to wherever it is that he keeps all of the cash. So you tell me, wait, you’re telling me that vault was empty before all these guys started moving it in? Where does that cash go? Is it constantly going back out? So really how much was in there and how big is this fucking vault? So they all have different methods for a sexy lady on bike, she just stays on her bike with binoculars just four feet away from the fucking cash house. They’re on the move and they’re on the move. Okay? And then you’ve got people who are two cars back in a van. They do it that way. Then you’ve got one guy who’s just mouthful of food at a diner sort of looking up. But he does it that way. And then there’s another guy, for some reason that’s three stories up in the air with binoculars. That’s how he espionage is just, they all do it the same way. But once they realize I count nine places on the move, they all assemble on a random car park. Garage roof.

Matt (01:24:58):

Yeah. Watching the police station. It’s a great idea.

Laci (01:25:01):

It really is smart.

Matt (01:25:02):

We have to do a heist of the police station

Laci (01:25:06):

Also. Not the first time I’ve seen that.

Matt (01:25:07):

Really?

Laci (01:25:08):

Sure.

Matt (01:25:09):

Where else?

Laci (01:25:09):

The Martin Lawrence movie. Something blue,

Matt (01:25:12):

Blue streak.

Laci (01:25:13):

Yeah. It’s

Matt (01:25:14):

A police station in that movie. Yeah. Alright. I actually watched that movie a lot when I was a kid. It was an early DVD of ours. Elliot loved it.

Laci (01:25:20):

I’m almost positive that’s what happens.

Matt (01:25:22):

I don’t remember that. But okay, I’ll trust you. You have an impeccable memory.

Laci (01:25:26):

Don’t trust me.

Matt (01:25:28):

And Brian hands in his pockets is like, there’s just gone a lot harder. Okay.

Laci (01:25:32):

Okay. Well

Matt (01:25:33):

Tyree

Laci (01:25:33):

Has,

Matt (01:25:35):

For some reason, this line always, it drives me crazy. He goes, this just went from Mission impossible to mission and freaking insanity.

Laci (01:25:42):

Right? Because he’s the guy that can talk himself in anything. That’s all you got.

Speaker 5 (01:25:46):

Tyrese.

Matt (01:25:47):

You

Speaker 5 (01:25:47):

Have four lines in this movie. You could have

Matt (01:25:48):

Mission and freaking insanity.

Speaker 5 (01:25:50):

He couldn’t have thought of something else.

Matt (01:25:51):

Yeah,

Speaker 5 (01:25:52):

Just maybe workshop that.

Matt (01:25:54):

But again, it’s like, I don’t know something about, I’m not a clever man. I don’t have, I don’t know.

Laci (01:26:00):

Okay. Brian said it or Tyree said it.

Matt (01:26:03):

Tyree says

Laci (01:26:04):

It. Yeah. Tyrese is a clever man.

Matt (01:26:06):

He’s not though.

Laci (01:26:07):

He is. He’s the one that can bullshit and talk through things. But that’s the catchphrase he comes with.

Matt (01:26:12):

But his bands aren’t clever. But yeah, maybe that’s what’s charming about it is he actually doesn’t talk like a Gilmore Girls character.

Laci (01:26:17):

I guess

Matt (01:26:19):

This is mission in freaking sanity, man. My dad would say that, okay, well yeah, we got to ride the police station. Well they’re like, yeah, this just got a lot harder. And one of them’s like, God, we can’t do this. And then Han,

Laci (01:26:33):

I’m out.

Matt (01:26:35):

Han says, can’t you mean shouldn’t? And then Gal Gado looks over at him and then they all have to get on surfboards to get out of there because she just floods.

Laci (01:26:44):

Oh, okay.

Matt (01:26:46):

She just gets so horny for him

Laci (01:26:47):

At that moment. Yeah, correct. Their English.

Matt (01:26:50):

They all say a bunch of things and then Dom is just like, don’t change a thing.

Laci (01:26:54):

This is so what’s frustrating about this though? I don’t know how else you would do it, but to make him seem clever because for some reason these movies are bolstered by him having a plan. Him being this mastermind and him being just like this stoic fucking patriarchical patriarch. What am I trying to say? He’s the boss. He’s the dumb, he doesn’t lay out a plan ever. He just tells you, cryptically, I got you. Don’t worry about it. Everyone just trusts him. And then, I don’t know, basic just can’t give Vin Diesel two sentences in a row to give to him. He can’t do it. I think he can’t say two things in a row.

Matt (01:27:38):

But in the first Fast and Furious years movie, he talks a lot and he’s a good talker. It is weird. Do you forget how to talk? This is how he is the rest of the series, it’s just one sentence at a time.

Laci (01:27:48):

It’s just this weird performed gravitas that I get what you’re doing. I get what you’re doing. But I feel the seven to eight takes it took for that to work a little bit. I see the sweat.

Matt (01:28:02):

So we go into the police station, we see the safe, the vault, it’s very technological. This vault, we are looking at a technological vault.

Laci (01:28:09):

It’s got a spinny,

Matt (01:28:10):

It’s

Laci (01:28:10):

Got a hand, it’s got a Beepboop bop beep, it’s got layers and it’s Fireproof

Matt (01:28:17):

Reyes puts a John Wick hit out on Brian Toto, Dominic Toto and Brian. So yeah, the heat has never been hotter.

Laci (01:28:25):

It’s so hot.

Matt (01:28:26):

And they’re like, all right, well we need some intel. So they send Roman in on a reconnaissance mission disguises in his FBI agent. And his job is just get this box in there, this box that has a remote control car with a camera on it and it works. And they pilot the remote control car to get a look at the vault. And they’re like, okay, I can tell what kind of vault that is. How do you know all about Vaults? I thought you were a circuit man.

Laci (01:28:46):

I had a life before you.

Matt (01:28:47):

Oh, okay.

Laci (01:28:48):

Okay. Ludicrous. I thought you were a rapper before that.

Matt (01:28:52):

So they’re going to need a duplicate vault to practice with. No problem.

Laci (01:28:55):

No problem.

Matt (01:28:57):

What happens to the remote control car though?

Laci (01:28:59):

Yeah, they play with it after they need something to do in that evidence room. They’re just delighted to see it. Like, fuck yeah, someone got toy evidence. What was the movie that we watched where it was called Hitman, right? The Hitman where he literally just ordered stuff off of Amazon to practice on.

Matt (01:29:16):

That was a, it was Hitman.

Laci (01:29:18):

No, not hit

Matt (01:29:19):

Movie,

Laci (01:29:21):

But it’s about a hitman who fucks up.

Matt (01:29:23):

Yeah, the killer.

Laci (01:29:24):

The killer. And I appreciated that. He literally just looked up a fucking security thing on the outside of a door and he got one delivered to him and then he practiced on it like, yep, okay.

Matt (01:29:35):

And Hitman was another Netflix movie with Glenn Powell directed by Richard Linklater. But they’re both kind of movies about The Killer was a movie about you think you’re watching the best hitman in the world, but then you realize, wait, he’s not that good at his, he sucks. He keeps fucking up. He fucks up his first and only hit. And then the movie Hitman is the whole idea of a hitman doesn’t exist. I play a fake hit, man. That’s my point.

Laci (01:30:00):

He fixes it. He fixes all of it. He just makes mistakes. They’re not infallible.

Matt (01:30:06):

You

Laci (01:30:06):

Talk about it.

Matt (01:30:06):

No, you need to watch that movie again,

Laci (01:30:08):

I guess. So

Matt (01:30:08):

Dom keeps giving out his instruction. Everyone else will talk and then Dom will just be like,

Laci (01:30:13):

I think the movie’s like, oh shit, this is a car movie. We need to put car stuff in here. So we’ll make a track in the warehouse you’re in. You mean a circle will make us or did you get a new warehouse? You’re making a track.

Matt (01:30:25):

Unclear. Yeah,

Laci (01:30:26):

You’re making a replica of a parking garage. You need to get through where there’s four cameras and you have to get around without the cameras pointing at you. But really it’s just we need each of you, the people are here to see each of you in a car. Can each of you just get in a car?

Matt (01:30:40):

Yeah. So we’ll have to contrive reasons for that. Okay. So the parking garage has this angle. So you’ll need to be able to turn this fast on the camera’s this fast. So you got to go faster on the camera. Okay. We’re going to need some fast and agile cars. So Dom and Brian go off to a street race or he can take in the local Brazilian car scene and get the car. See the Brazilian women’s asses.

Laci (01:30:58):

Right. Well I think it’s also a staple and requirement for all these movies that for this silhouette, the car headlights and the women, you just have to have that moment.

Matt (01:31:10):

But the universal exec said if the movies were about that, there was a ceiling on this. But this is like we have to, but you have create a little bridge. Yes. To show people if you’re here for the car races, we’ll have one little

Laci (01:31:22):

Well, and we haven’t totally left behind this culture, this counterculture. We’re not totally within the law, but we’re having fun. We police this, we’ve got it under control. It’s okay that it’s not totally legal kind of thing.

Matt (01:31:37):

They’re so good at racing cars that we don’t even need to see them winning the race. They just go pick out a car.

Laci (01:31:42):

I appreciate it. And they set up this guy to be this big heavy of like, oh fuck you don’t mess with him. He’s blue car guy. And then it just, okay.

Matt (01:31:50):

But because Dom beats him, he doms him and then immediately turns him into an ally. Which is all

Laci (01:31:56):

Is he

Matt (01:31:56):

Toto ever does.

Laci (01:31:57):

I didn’t never see him again.

Matt (01:31:58):

No. Later when Hobbes confronts them, he’s the first one to take out his gun. Oh,

Laci (01:32:03):

Okay.

Matt (01:32:04):

And this happens over and over and over again throughout the

Laci (01:32:06):

Season. You got to love that guy.

Matt (01:32:08):

Yeah. And sometimes Don will beat you in a race and they’ll be like, I don’t want your car after all.

Laci (01:32:12):

Oh, that’s nice. Catch your release.

Matt (01:32:14):

But because he’s the Portuguese, I’m going to call in a favor with you later. Now I own your ass some more. Alright, well they, to open the safe you need re hand

Laci (01:32:26):

Print. Thank both Matt. Thank you for both a front and back view of her in the bikini. I needed this. I can’t imagine that you did this for me. Did you need this?

Matt (01:32:36):

Is that sarcasm? What? I thought you would want to comment on her butt. You had a lot of thoughts on it while we

Laci (01:32:40):

Were watching. It’s an odd bathing suit

Matt (01:32:42):

Choice. So yes, that is why I did it. So Giselle gal, Gado and Han, they get tasked, Han, you’re up. And he’s like, okay, God, no problem. I guess I’ll just go get his hand print. And gdo is like, oh, you’ll need to see the woman to do job.

Speaker 5 (01:33:00):

A woman has

Matt (01:33:01):

Ass, but not yet. You don’t know about ass yet. They go to the fucking beach club where Reyes is, but he’s, he’s heavily guarded

Laci (01:33:12):

And here’s Han overthinking things.

Matt (01:33:14):

Yeah. And he said he was just ripping off Brad Pitt. He’s always snacking in this movie

Laci (01:33:20):

And

Matt (01:33:21):

In all of the movies. And I don’t like eating in movies, so it does bug me.

Laci (01:33:25):

But I do get how that could be something to help people act and kind of anchor them in the reality of the situation.

Matt (01:33:30):

I’m

Laci (01:33:31):

Sorry, my giant crucifix just got caught in my headphones.

Matt (01:33:33):

You’re what?

Laci (01:33:34):

Oh, nothing. It’s a Catholic thing. I’m a female so I have to have one that guards my entire heart.

Matt (01:33:41):

I never noticed. Yeah, Giselle and Han, they start like, well they’re talking, they’re getting to know each other. The charge, the romantic chemistry is off the charts. It’s popping off the screen.

Laci (01:33:52):

I’m buying it.

Matt (01:33:53):

And he’s like, how long were you in the army? And she gives him a look like,

Laci (01:33:58):

How did you know?

Matt (01:34:00):

And he’s like,

Laci (01:34:00):

She’s smoking Army issued cigarettes. How did you know

Matt (01:34:04):

That thing you did with the gun? That was straight up Maade. Just like the real gal Gadot, who is very likely an Israeli spook. Look it up. Yeah. She’s like, well how long have you been non-smoker? Because you’re always eating cheeses. I don’t know what an Israeli accent is. Oh yeah, I know you don’t. And he’s like, oh man, she knows me. She’s got me figured out. He’s like, well,

Laci (01:34:30):

I guess we’re equally matched.

Matt (01:34:32):

This day’s a waste. We’re going to need to come back, probably hire a few more men. And she’s like, oh, we need a wo on.

Speaker 5 (01:34:39):

Okay, stop doing the,

Matt (01:34:40):

And then she whips off her whatever and

Laci (01:34:43):

She doesn’t even put it down. She leaves it on the floor. Rude. I don’t know how hand prints work, but he never grabs her ass. Yes,

Matt (01:34:52):

He does.

Laci (01:34:53):

Fully on the bathing suit or fully on the cheek. There’s not enough purple for bathing suit for him to get his entire hand print onto the bathing suit. And you never see him only touching that. So I’m just saying they present the bathing suit like it’s got the full hand it fucking dope

Matt (01:35:11):

Play the clip. Gau Gdo, who you assert is not that hot.

Laci (01:35:18):

No, no. I think her face is beautiful. I love the way she talks mean her body’s great. It’s fine. I think we’re supposed to be really blown away by this bikini and I just feel like standards need to be a little lower and let her have food she wants to eat.

Matt (01:35:32):

The point of the scene is she can go sex her way into She’s so sexy.

Laci (01:35:38):

Who wouldn’t let her, I mean her in any fucking room, in any town in Louisiana. That’s the hottest shit I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m just saying right here, right now, I know this bikini is supposed to be a moment and I’m saying I’m let down.

Matt (01:35:52):

And what do they say about Rio specifically? Most beautiful women per square whatever

Laci (01:35:56):

In the world and it’s all about their butts and they had to do this kind of specific bikini because she just is a very thin person, so the butt isn’t really there. So don’t show us all these beautiful Brazilian butts all throughout the movie and then this is supposed to be a big deal. It’s not. That’s why bond girls work because you’re not seeing it otherwise. Then it’s like, whoa, sex. I knew it was coming and that’s what this is supposed to be. And I’m not impressed if her whole move, the whole thing she contributes is hi, I noticed the jures and they were sitting and then I just didn’t know if you knew about my ponytail and how I like to sit. And then they let her in and then oh my God, we’re sitting and touch me wherever my butt. Okay, I’m totally going to get out of this real natural, I’m just going to say I have diarrhea. I need to go. It just doesn’t, they don’t show her have diarrhea. They just don’t show her with any game in what she’s saying. It’s all far away. They don’t give her any smart shit to do. So I mean it didn’t bother me watching it. It’s, it would have a little more impact if you could hear what she’s saying to get these things done.

Matt (01:37:11):

But she can’t talk.

Laci (01:37:12):

That’s the problem.

Matt (01:37:14):

She famously could not do anything other than her national accent. So in Wonder Woman, they have to make the whole made up island speak her accent. That’s what the Amazonian or the famous Garins, that’s their accent.

Laci (01:37:27):

I appreciate her not trying a bad one.

Matt (01:37:30):

Well, I had this observation and I don’t like it.

Laci (01:37:36):

Oh,

Matt (01:37:37):

I’ve been spending so much time with our son at pool of our gym. Here

Laci (01:37:42):

We go.

Matt (01:37:43):

This and I felt like the most old man observation is like, boy, women’s asses are out a lot, aren’t they?

Laci (01:37:49):

Bathing suits are getting smaller.

Matt (01:37:51):

I don’t know. I don’t know how to describe it. Just every woman there has just got their ass out.

Laci (01:37:55):

Yeah.

Matt (01:37:55):

Not a bad thing. Just feel like this is not something I what

Laci (01:38:00):

Fuck you. That’s what you, that’s why you stay at Krosky’s for four hours.

Matt (01:38:03):

Yeah, Sally wants

Laci (01:38:04):

To go of all the ass.

Matt (01:38:05):

He wants to go. And I

Laci (01:38:06):

Want to the say, by the way, the children’s asses, you’re looking at those definitely teenagers.

Matt (01:38:10):

No of mother’s. Mother’s asses. It’s

Laci (01:38:13):

The cut now it is the thing to go in the butt, cross the cheeks so that you have these under

Matt (01:38:19):

Cheeks. Okay. Yes. You think cheeks? Cheeks is the thing I feel like I wasn’t seeing back in the day.

Laci (01:38:23):

Yeah, well there they are.

Matt (01:38:24):

To be clear, I said it’s not a bad thing because I’m not some prude like you, I think everyone should have their butts out all the time if they want.

Laci (01:38:33):

The problem is anytime I wear a bathing suit, I’m around my other family, so it feels like the wrong time. If it were just you, I’d have cheeks. In fact, the next time I’ll just shove it right up my crack. That way it Thank

Matt (01:38:44):

You.

Laci (01:38:45):

I don’t know if I’m cheek age anymore.

Matt (01:38:47):

Here you are. You’re never not cheek you. You’re

Laci (01:38:50):

Saying you’re seeing cheeks at the athletic club with cellulite on the thighs below.

Matt (01:39:01):

I don’t look that closely. I’m afraid to look

Laci (01:39:03):

Legs like mine with a dimple or three.

Matt (01:39:05):

What? Your legs look great. Your ass looks incredible. It’s my favorite.

Laci (01:39:09):

The ass is fine, but then it goes into the leg. The leg that has the dimples.

Matt (01:39:13):

I don’t know what a dimple is. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Laci (01:39:15):

This is not helpful. Okay, I’m going to have to go to Crossgates. I mean I’m going to have to go to this place we’re talking about.

Matt (01:39:20):

Yeah,

Laci (01:39:21):

I need to spy these cheeks.

Matt (01:39:23):

Anyway, she gets a hand printer on her ass. Good job.

Laci (01:39:25):

Allegedly.

Matt (01:39:27):

Yeah, allegedly in a movie. So our team, they’re like fucking Hobbes. Hobbes knows who we are. He knows that you are Dominic Toto. We need to get some breathing room. Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:39:39):

I guess

Matt (01:39:40):

So. Hobbes, we got to pull him out somewhere. That way we can do a thing. Okay, we need to get fresh air. So they go back to the Yes.

Laci (01:39:47):

Is he on a milk crate? Because we looked this up and Vince Fawn? Nope. Vin Rames. Goddammit. Vin Diesel is six foot and the rock is six foot four. And I give you a half inch difference here. Is he on Tippy?

Matt (01:40:02):

Yes, he’s on Tippy. This is Hump. Call that me, bro. Yeah. Humphrey Bogart standing on the beer chest to be level with Ingrid Bergman, who is much taller than him. Okay,

Laci (01:40:13):

You’re in my turf now. They

Matt (01:40:15):

Go to the street race and then Hobbes and his team arrive in full tactical gear. Hey Totto, you’re under arrest. I don’t feel like I’m under arrest.

Speaker 2 (01:40:24):

Hey Paul Walker. You feel under arrest?

Matt (01:40:27):

No,

Speaker 2 (01:40:28):

I don’t. I do not even a little bit.

Laci (01:40:29):

You know what? I don’t.

Matt (01:40:30):

And he says, Hobb says, just give it a minute, it’ll sink in.

Laci (01:40:34):

That’s a funny line. It is. Yes. I like that one.

Matt (01:40:37):

Dom clocks that Elena is wearing his cross chain.

Laci (01:40:40):

I don’t know how he notices it. It’s only eight feet tall and later she’s shown wearing the exact same one, but on a normal chain where it’s right resting on her boobs. Where for this? She’s got it as a scarf or like a mock turtleneck. It’s just I want him to see it. It’s like a bat signal. Like, Hey, I know you’re a good guy, huh? You’re going to come to my apartment later?

Matt (01:41:09):

No, I know it naturally. Yeah, it naturally goes well into, well, way, way down. But she’s like, oh, better.

Laci (01:41:16):

Right? I’m

Matt (01:41:16):

Just that up.

Laci (01:41:17):

Give it a yank just in case. Toms. See, I think Tom’s going to be at the street race. Oh God. I’m just going to wear it high.

Matt (01:41:22):

All right, so the Feds pull out their guns, but then Tom is like, you’re forgetting one thing. You’re not in America. This is Bra. Brazil. Brazil. And here’s what Brazil is, guys. It’s everyone having a gun. It’s

Speaker 5 (01:41:34):

Guns. It’s guns. What the fuck?

Matt (01:41:37):

So Vin and the rock square off, but the rock leaves. But not before saying, I’ll be seeing you soon, boy.

Laci (01:41:42):

But do you think they have a real quick, real quick chat? Be like, okay everybody, thank you so much for being on my side. I know I took your car, blue car. I’ll give it back. Look, I’m going to get the feds out here. Or really big guys, lots of guns. Oh,

Matt (01:41:57):

No problem. Yeah,

Laci (01:41:58):

I’m going to get ’em out here. This could go two ways. But basically when I say Brazil, all of you, if you could point your firearms,

Matt (01:42:08):

Oh, also this specific Fed, he’s killed like 38 Brazilians already.

Laci (01:42:12):

Already seen it. Now it is a little different in that these are clearly civilians, but then you kind of complicate things with the fact that they now have guns pointed at agents. So I mean, yeah, this

Matt (01:42:25):

Is just when Dominic Toto asks you for a favor, you give it to me.

Laci (01:42:28):

I mean that’s fine, but I love that we have not brought this up and maybe it’s stupid, but I don’t understand this sidekick that is an officer, the second in command to the rock Tubular talks like this, but he’s a cop who’s only ever saying official. Okay, so then I run down the thing and then I’ve got the paperwork, but he’s got black short hair. It is a weird mishmash, man. I cannot clock where he’s from. Anyway, he says, boss, this is just too much heat. So they leave

Matt (01:43:03):

Boss. This is just too much heat. Is

Laci (01:43:05):

It just your wasabi HUD in here? It devils flow

Matt (01:43:10):

Cash. Just put a tracker on Hobbes’s car.

Laci (01:43:12):

Got

Speaker 5 (01:43:13):

Him.

Matt (01:43:14):

So Elena,

Speaker 5 (01:43:14):

All of that was worth it. Yeah, I think you could just look behind you. You’ll see Hobbes. But no, I’m going to put a tracker plus

Matt (01:43:21):

This doesn’t matter at all. So many things in this movie don’t matter. They’re like, all right, forget it. Elena goes to her home. And then what do you know Dom is in? Is Dom is in her domicile

Speaker 1 (01:43:33):

And

Matt (01:43:33):

He pins her up against the wall and then yanks the chain off of her. But as I pointed out to you, this is 35 times sexier than anything the rock is

Laci (01:43:41):

Ever done. It’s hot. Then the way it’s lit is good too. They know it’s hot and she’s got chemistry and she’s probably right. Right before this take was like guys, she’s a, she’s so fucking beautiful, right? She’s the most beautiful woman. Have you seen her so beautiful? Not since craft services have I seen a woman as beautiful as you because yeah, you’re still world. You’re so beautiful. Anyway, so this is when we find out, and I didn’t know this, that necklace was actually Letty’s necklace, which the reason why I didn’t know it is because it’s clearly a man’s necklace so big and the clunkiest line delivery is given. As he leaves this house, they both realize they both tragically lost someone that they deeply care about and they’re all about loyalty and doing what’s right and family. And not until now did I know that anyone could ever know how I feel about someone that has gone until now that I know you. And then he leaves

Matt (01:44:45):

Now.

Laci (01:44:46):

I think that’s exactly what he says.

Matt (01:44:47):

I know that

Laci (01:44:48):

Now though. I know that we will wear this cross together. When I see you next, I’m going to give it to you. You put it on.

Matt (01:44:54):

So Han is like, you know what? These cars that we’ve spent 40 minutes of the movie trying to get working to work,

Laci (01:45:01):

You know how to be invisible, just drive what they drive.

Matt (01:45:04):

But he says, we’re going to need invisible cars. And Dom’s like, oh no, just what to do.

Laci (01:45:09):

Yes, they’re all clearly marked with individual numbers. Six seven dash 0 1 4 6 7 dash 0 5 0 8. They’re all numbered. Just because you took five of them does not mean they aren’t going to report and know these cop cars have been taken. So when you then drive these around, they’re fucking place where they disappeared, someone’s not going to, that’s one of them. I’ve never seen that officer before. Why has he got that crucifix

Matt (01:45:36):

Lacey’s driving a truck through the plot holes of this movie That’s so aggravating. They’ve Dom and Brian and Han and Roman line up in their police cars. It do do a drag race for a million dollars. Brian so desperately wants to beat Dom, but Dom Vin Diesel refuses to be beaten.

Laci (01:45:52):

He’s never,

Matt (01:45:52):

And if he is beaten, it’s because we have to canonically know he let you, that’s the other thing about the Vin Diesel, the rock thing is Vin Diesel is like a wrestler in so many ways where there are wrestlers like Hulk Hogan who are like, okay, if I let you win, I’m going to have something like the ref did a fast count or something. So

Laci (01:46:10):

You

Matt (01:46:10):

Can always say

Laci (01:46:11):

Little wiggle room here.

Matt (01:46:12):

Yeah, but this is again is how you have your street racing thing in the movie.

Laci (01:46:17):

Sure.

Matt (01:46:18):

Vince Abducts Mia in a market, but he’s like, no, I did it for good reasons. Raises men we’re waiting for you. She takes him back to HQ and she’s like, he’s a good guy. We can trust him. Paul Walker’s like, I don’t know, but Vince is like, who’s

Laci (01:46:30):

Family? And I already had made the barbecue over here and I see he has ashes. So he went to mass

Matt (01:46:38):

There. They’re having a cookout talking about what they’re going to do with the money and Vince is like, can I come too on the job? And he’s like, absolutely.

Laci (01:46:46):

Did not give anyone a vote and thereby just slashing the returns for everyone. But whatever,

Matt (01:46:53):

Every person we add, our share goes

Laci (01:46:54):

Down and everyone makes a joint decision, right? Then. Like, okay, nobody let Dom go outside or interact with anyone. The shares are dwindling.

Matt (01:47:05):

Yeah, we need to do some stock buybacks. Brian tells Mia reveals, I’m pregnant. Everybody’s like, oh my got pregnant. I didn’t even know. Is that why

Laci (01:47:14):

You’re always here? Not really helping.

Matt (01:47:18):

This is the we’re just hanging out having fun.

Laci (01:47:20):

I like it

Matt (01:47:20):

And I like it too.

Laci (01:47:21):

I like it. Yeah. These movies always have this moment and I always like it.

Matt (01:47:26):

And Veen actually gives a good toast. Money will come and girl, what? We know that. Why are

Speaker 5 (01:47:34):

You doing it that way?

Matt (01:47:35):

But the most important Grover or whatever, but the most important thing in life will always be the people in this room

Speaker 5 (01:47:43):

And no one else. In case someone else comes in tomorrow who’s also family.

Matt (01:47:48):

Nesta. Come on in. Family George.

Laci (01:47:56):

That’s how they celebrate

Matt (01:47:57):

Slu.

Laci (01:47:58):

I’ve got a gun everyone. I’ve been playing with a gun this whole time. It’s fake.

Matt (01:48:02):

Well, wow. Their thing gets crashed by Hobbes and he’s like, you think I wouldn’t find that trucker? I found her and I reversed the polarities so you didn’t even know.

Laci (01:48:12):

Plus I’ve been smelling those ribs for miles.

Matt (01:48:15):

They get in a big fight. The famous Vin Diesel v, the rock fight

Laci (01:48:19):

We’re

Matt (01:48:19):

There so perfectly evenly matched. This much smaller man and this enormous man,

Speaker 5 (01:48:25):

Your eye bleeds on the left side. Then my eye bleeds. Look at this. Their injuries are uniform. They’re the same. Yeah.

Matt (01:48:32):

And yeah, just get in a fist fight for, despite having heavily armed feds who clearly are just like you are under arrest. He’s like, no, I’m going

Speaker 5 (01:48:40):

To tussle with him. I need to get

Laci (01:48:43):

Myss out.

Matt (01:48:44):

But Vin clearly wins the fight because he overpowers him and he’s about to kill him with a wrench.

Laci (01:48:49):

And that’s his reputation. That’s why the rock’s character did not respect him to begin with. He almost killed someone with a socket wrench. He even says that to him.

Matt (01:48:59):

He did kill a man with

Laci (01:49:01):

Wrench, you piece of shit.

Matt (01:49:02):

But in the first movie, an hour into the movie, he’s like, actually, the reason I did that was very understandable and sweet.

Laci (01:49:10):

Okay, I’m just saying the rock knows about that and does not like this about that. Man, that’s a brutal way to kill somebody.

Matt (01:49:15):

And

Laci (01:49:15):

Look, he had the opportunity to do it right here, but he just

Matt (01:49:19):

Can’t. You’re right.

Laci (01:49:21):

That’s why it’s a callback. That’s why he learns in that moment you did give gas out.

Matt (01:49:27):

They put ’em all under arrest, put ’em into the squad cars, but then the squad cars immediately get shot up by races. Men, he owns the favelas and all of the American agents are killed except for Dwayne Johnson and Elsa. Pataki and Elsa or Elena

Laci (01:49:42):

Is not American. But

Matt (01:49:44):

Yeah, Elena is like, they’re like, cut us loose. Give us a chance. And so she does. And then Reyes’s guys, they shoot Hobbes’s car with a bazooka. They kill all of his men. Everyone seems to be dead. They’re about kill’s, about to die, him die. But Dom Totto and Brian kill familiar show up and save his life. And then Dom extends the arm of friendship and takes him to safety. Oh, also Vince dies. Vince gets killed. He’s like, Dom, you got to meet my son. I named him Dominic after the most important man in the world.

Laci (01:50:11):

Well, his name’s Nico, but it’s Dominic.

Matt (01:50:13):

Yeah. And Pop’s a little family boner once again.

Laci (01:50:17):

And he probably just realized that in that moment and was like, I really need you to get my kids some money. So I

Matt (01:50:22):

Named him after you,

Laci (01:50:23):

Dominic and Nico is his name.

Matt (01:50:27):

So we get some standard fast and furious like family Catholic melodrama. As Dom says goodbye to Vince’s corpse, you were a special family to my family. Just

Speaker 5 (01:50:37):

Lays him down in the town of table in the warehouse. Never for his wife to ever find him. And now they just live with that smell until they decide to leave. This warehouse just

Matt (01:50:47):

Gives him a million little kisses. Vince,

Laci (01:50:50):

Your wife will find I’m going to put this barbecue by you. She’s going to find me.

Matt (01:50:54):

And then when he finished, he’s like, all right, we’re going ahead with the mission. And they’re like, Dom, we can’t. We got to run. Running isn’t freedom, but he says to all of him like, look, any of you can leave. You’re all free to make your own choices.

Laci (01:51:10):

I believe him.

Matt (01:51:10):

He walks away like he’s going to go off by himself, but someone chimes in who we didn’t know was there.

Laci (01:51:15):

Oh, hi man.

Matt (01:51:16):

All ride with you Totto.

Laci (01:51:18):

At least until we kill the Reyes guys, then I might flip.

Matt (01:51:22):

It’s the Rock.

Laci (01:51:23):

It’s the rundown. We don’t know alliances really.

Matt (01:51:27):

It’s very good.

Laci (01:51:28):

I like it. I’m moved. But where is the rock during all this? Is he in the safe

Matt (01:51:33):

You? He in the safe.

Laci (01:51:34):

I’m just kidding. Where is he? I can’t remember. I know because it’s so much about Dom and Brian’s driving that I get lost as to where everybody else

Matt (01:51:41):

Is. Oh, well. So it’s time for the vault heist Hobbs and Alina Ram, their big giant truck Hummer into the police station so that Dom and Brian can just pull the safe out. All that stealth thing. We’ve been planning for an hour and a half, forget it. We’re just going to punch our way in.

Laci (01:51:58):

They really do throw away a lot of big things, but you know what? It’s realistic. You go down one path just to realize you could have saved a lot of money doing it the other way.

Matt (01:52:07):

And I think a thing, I’ve been trying to find a way to synthesize this idea. I’m kind of getting sick of movies and TV shows, just stories about somebody who

Laci (01:52:17):

Is

Matt (01:52:18):

A brilliant mastermind and we just watch their plan go off.

Laci (01:52:21):

That’s why I liked the killer because it is a stereotype and it gets boring. I mean you could still be a precision person. Someone’s very regimen is very good at what they do, but that still doesn’t exist. A person who doesn’t make mistakes even when you are situated like that. So to show a person have that mistake and then the rest of the movie is about how you use your very big intelligence and skills, and the point is you’re a problem solver. That’s what makes a good worker good. Anything is okay, this didn’t go as planned. Now I fix it. So I think that’s interesting

Matt (01:52:57):

Too when there’s not even anything to fix. This is one of the reasons I don’t like the saw movies. The most recent saw movie, he gets waterboarded with blood, but then it turns out that was also part of his plan. He sees every single move. Okay, it’s

Speaker 5 (01:53:11):

Boring, right?

Matt (01:53:14):

But yeah, they attach the safe two toe cables, so they’re pulling it out with one. So that’s what the Rock did. He

Laci (01:53:23):

Used his big giant equipment because he’s a part of this military apparatus.

Matt (01:53:28):

Yes.

Laci (01:53:29):

And yeah, he used, how’s he going to explain this? We don’t know.

Matt (01:53:32):

It doesn’t, we

Laci (01:53:33):

Don’t know.

Matt (01:53:34):

Dom and Brian, they attach the toe cables and thus begins one of the great action sequences of modern.

Laci (01:53:40):

It is quite a triumph. I would love to know, and we should shout out the two drivers who are actually doing this,

Matt (01:53:45):

Shout out to those drivers.

Laci (01:53:46):

Oh yeah. Haven’t forbid you fucking Google something. Alright, just put in the show notes. It’s amazing.

Matt (01:53:52):

Yes. So this is all practical. One way they did this was they put a pickup truck inside the vault and so you can drive the vault. The vault is driving.

Laci (01:54:02):

That’s like cousin it in the Adams family

Matt (01:54:04):

Play. We just had that Lacey was a part of, but that is how they did it. The hand. The hand on a little remote control car. The whole time I saw the play, there were these two ladies sitting behind me

Speaker 1 (01:54:15):

Doing

Matt (01:54:16):

Commentary on everything that happened in the play and it was just like, oh, that’s adorable. Oh, that’s precious. Oh no. Wednesday she’s wearing the same dress as that other woman. Oh

Laci (01:54:29):

No. We hadn’t yet learned her name.

Matt (01:54:33):

What

Laci (01:54:34):

About when the Lady moon came out? That was supposed to be the big practical joke or like, oh, the moon really is a lady.

Matt (01:54:40):

Oh, the moon’s a lady,

Laci (01:54:42):

But I’m asking you personally.

Matt (01:54:43):

No, I don’t remember if they reacted. It was all just the most basic. We were just announcing what’s happening in

Laci (01:54:48):

The stage again. I’m asking how you felt about the switcheroo with the moon. I

Matt (01:54:51):

Went, I confess I was a little confused.

Laci (01:54:55):

Oh,

Matt (01:54:56):

If I have a critique of that play, it’s with the script, not with anything that you did.

Laci (01:55:00):

No, no. I don’t mean me. I just mean in general. You get started to get ton. It all makes sense to you when you’ve seen it 200 times. So you don’t know where the holes are. It’s not like anyone ever stops and goes, I need fresh eyes on this. Is this tracking?

Matt (01:55:12):

Yeah. No, it didn’t totally track for me, but it’s an experience. I just let it wash over me. Good. The Adams family play, so yeah. Great action sequence. I know that seeing this in the theater, I knew that I was watching, this is something special. I said to myself, I’ve never seen this. This is such a beautiful idea. Two cars

Laci (01:55:33):

And it’s real because the weight is perfect, right? It’s not just going ding, ding, ding, ding, going all over. It’s heavy

Matt (01:55:39):

And it has a momentum of its own. It moves very weirdly and it’s causing all kinds of damage that they then have to deal with. It’s knocking over poles and then they have to dodge the poles

Laci (01:55:50):

When they split. I’m so confused. What’s going to happen to the, how are they driving two separate ways right now?

Matt (01:55:55):

Yeah. Yeah. I’m terrible at towing, at pulling a trailer. I’ve done it many times in my life. I still cannot back up a trailer to save my life. So watching this

Laci (01:56:07):

The

Matt (01:56:07):

First time they up up, no, they don’t back up, but I’m so bad at,

Laci (01:56:09):

I’m kidding. I was echoing your I’m bad. I didn’t even know they’d back up.

Matt (01:56:14):

So the idea doing this, you know what, I couldn’t do this you,

Laci (01:56:19):

So two things you said one, it’s drivable. What was the other thing?

Matt (01:56:24):

The thing, they took a pickup truck and they sliced off the bed. So it’s just the front part of the pickup truck that was small enough that it could fit into this vault.

Laci (01:56:32):

Fine, but what’s the other trick? You said there was two tricks.

Matt (01:56:36):

I don’t think I said there were two tricks.

Laci (01:56:37):

All right.

Matt (01:56:39):

Other team members started arriving in police cars and I think that, I don’t know if this is the beginning of these movies where they’re always in touch with each other on walkie talkies. I definitely prefer that to the MCU where everybody’s in perfect seamless communication due to these in ear things where they can just talk to other, this is a pet peeve of mine. I don’t like that. Everybody can always talk to each other in movies. How do you feel about that?

Laci (01:57:05):

Well, you don’t like to talk to people.

Matt (01:57:06):

Oh yeah. Maybe that’s why. That’s

Laci (01:57:07):

Part of it.

Matt (01:57:08):

Everything I ever criticize in a movie, you always say that’s because you don’t like,

Laci (01:57:11):

Okay, but Matt, when you have to do a job, you do not want anyone over your shoulder. You don’t want anyone commenting because you have a plan even if it’s not clear while you’re doing it. So I can only imagine it would be something very much not your style if you were doing something very stressful while someone’s able to comment on it the whole time

Matt (01:57:28):

And you’re saying, I’m on you Avengers end game and all the characters can talk to each other seamlessly. The reason I don’t like it is I wouldn’t want them talking to me if I was fighting. Okay, you’re right. Okay, thanks.

Speaker 1 (01:57:39):

You’re welcome.

Matt (01:57:40):

They’re causing all kinds of death and destruction. It was bothering Lacey. It never bothered me. But Mia does say like, guys, there’s like a thousand crooked cops following you right now. Kill ’em all. They get onto a bridge,

Laci (01:57:50):

Boy do they kill ’em.

Matt (01:57:51):

They’re being chased close behind by all of Ray’s crooked cops. They’re not going to be able to escape. So Dom who never tells any of his family members anything, he’s like, guess what? I had a super secret plan

Speaker 5 (01:58:02):

Into the line.

Matt (01:58:03):

I detach you now and you speed off by yourself because you’re a family now. And then Dom turns around and just ejects the vault at all the bad guys and it’s awesome.

Laci (01:58:15):

What if the vault had gone in the water and taken Brian with it? Just say

Matt (01:58:20):

That’d be quite the bungle, but

Laci (01:58:22):

Now it’s treasure.

Matt (01:58:24):

He sends the car hurdling toward Reye’s car. He jumps out of his own car. Reyes’ guy though isn’t dead. He’s about to kill Dom, but oh no, Brian is still there. Brian called an audible, had to make a call and kills him. And then Hobbes arrives and then Reyes stumbles out of his car onto the ground and says to the rock, help me. And the rock just shoots him.

Laci (01:58:44):

I love that. It’s not, I love any non ceremonial death of the big bad because Reyes is never really the big bad. He’s hardly a presence. It’s just like he’ll do whatever. That just means he’s got an army

Matt (01:58:57):

Also. Not what you’re supposed to do If you’re a federal agent, just execute the guy right

Laci (01:59:02):

There.

Matt (01:59:02):

Wouldn’t it be good to take him into custody? See what we could learn.

Laci (01:59:06):

He broke bad. And I don’t know. I think, sorry, I wanted to make sure I make the point that the thing that is interesting in captivating about Vin Diesel is that there is just a sprinkling of Christopher Walken in his performance. There’s such an affect to it. There’s such a style that it becomes an impression of itself sometimes and I think that’s why it’s so hard to get it just right. And so when Christopher Walken is dialed back, it’s like some of the best walk-in, but when he is dialed to a hundred, that’s some of the best. But there’s some middle ground where he is not all in or all out enough where it’s like, okay, I don’t know if that worked. And I think that’s a true for Vin Diesel.

Matt (01:59:49):

Yeah, when you said that, it’s kind of like, yeah, there is a quality that is a little strange, a little off off-putting a little creepy,

Laci (01:59:56):

And

Matt (01:59:56):

Yet it works

Laci (01:59:57):

And they’re still warm again. I want to hug Christopher Walker

Matt (02:00:00):

And I want to hug Vin Diesel. I want to hug him. Very sensually, one of our most sensual actors.

Laci (02:00:05):

I guess

Matt (02:00:07):

That’s where my team, you son of a bitch. And then he tells the two guys, he’s like, I can’t let you go. I ain’t made that way. The way I see it. You’ve earned yourself 24 hours. The money stays though. You can’t have the money.

Laci (02:00:17):

The way I see it, you earned yourself a fast six.

Matt (02:00:23):

But this is an echo of what Brian does for Dom at the end of the first movie when he reveals he’s a cop, but he lets him go and the Rock is so great here. He’s like, Totto, see you soon. And Vin Diesel, this is his best line in the movie. He smirks and he goes, no you won’t.

Laci (02:00:37):

Yeah. See, and that’s the way his voice sounds good

Matt (02:00:40):

So

Laci (02:00:40):

When you give him too much,

Matt (02:00:41):

But guys, guess what? They secretly switched the vault and we get the flashback that’s like, here’s what you didn’t see three minutes ago. Which

Laci (02:00:49):

Are always like those.

Matt (02:00:51):

This very Ocean’s 11.

Laci (02:00:52):

Yeah. Yes. And I love oceans.

Matt (02:00:53):

The rock opens up the vault. See, there’s nothing in it but plastic. But he just laughs. That’s all he can do. And Elena looking like the most gorgeous person who’s ever lived in the bridge light. And I second to Lacey Roth,

Laci (02:01:04):

This plus the asses at the goddamn place you’ve been going swimming. I’m finding out a lot,

Matt (02:01:09):

Finding

Laci (02:01:10):

Out a

Matt (02:01:10):

Lot. Just like it’s just, has there ever been a more perfect day?

Laci (02:01:16):

I’m going to go find that man because he’s rich and I like it.

Matt (02:01:19):

Ludicrous hacks into the mainframe of the safe. He gets in. Wow, look at all his cash and we get a montage of them living the good life. Finally ending with Dom visiting his brother-in-law and his enormously pregnant wife who were just walking around on the beach in Wedded Bliss. Oh

Speaker 5 (02:01:36):

Yeah, we’re doing the thing.

Matt (02:01:38):

Vin shows up now. He’s dating Elena and Elena and Mia have to go sit on the beach and talk about woman stuff and Dom and Brian sit back and talk about man stuff like fast cars and he’s like, I want to rematch Dom. And he’s like, you think you can handle the fast? That’s how the movie ends with him

Laci (02:01:55):

Going

Matt (02:01:55):

To race each other.

Laci (02:01:57):

Yay. I didn’t do it on letterbox. Sorry. I think I’d give it a four, three and a half to four.

Matt (02:02:03):

That’s what we’ll find out now. Well, our final thoughts. I do love this movie. As I said, I don’t love the series, but I love this movie and I love the first movie and I think it’s a great action movie. And I think that the Vin Diesel, Paul Walker Alchemy is perfectly calibrated here. And I think it’s also done very well in Fast Six and Fast seven. And then once Paul Walker’s gone, I think they really lose a load bearing beam of the series.

Laci (02:02:49):

Yes. And like a Paul Thomas Anderson movie. I think I’m saying the right thing there. These movies can rejuvenate careers if they put the person in the right role. The right word. Is that the guy I’m saying? Yeah,

Matt (02:03:03):

He does that.

Laci (02:03:04):

Yeah. Those movies can bring back a random actor that’s Bur Reynolds

Matt (02:03:10):

And Boogie Knight.

Laci (02:03:11):

No, I don’t mean that then. I mean the World Tendon Bombs helped me.

Matt (02:03:15):

Oh, Wes Anderson.

Laci (02:03:16):

Wes Anderson. Yeah, like that I think, I don’t know. It gives a shit about Tyrese. Maybe he was big then. I don’t know. Maybe I’m lying. But it did that for The Rock, so I appreciate it.

Matt (02:03:27):

In wrestling, they call it The Rub.

Laci (02:03:30):

Well, it sounds like they kept trying to do it with wrestlers too, so maybe it’s like a nice buche for wrestlers specifically.

Matt (02:03:37):

But this was the perfect example you could point to of a thing where the rock made these movies bigger and these movies made the rock

Laci (02:03:43):

Bigger. Yeah.

Matt (02:03:43):

It’s the perfect result where

Laci (02:03:44):

Maybe also adding John Cena was a little bit too formulaic. Like, okay, okay, I see what you’re doing.

Matt (02:03:50):

As Dominic Totos brother,

Laci (02:03:53):

What

Speaker 5 (02:03:55):

Two people have never looked so alike,

Matt (02:03:56):

Who’s obsessively always talking about family and has never once mentioned. I also have a brother.

Speaker 5 (02:04:01):

Oh,

Matt (02:04:04):

I give this four and a half stars for being a terrific action movie. What keeps me from going full five stars is there’s, I think that the script is a little messy. A full fast

Speaker 5 (02:04:13):

Five,

Matt (02:04:14):

A full Fast five is, I do kind of think it’s an issue that so much shoe leather is spent on things that ultimately aren’t needed. So it doesn’t have the Swiss watch design of the great heist movies fine,

Laci (02:04:24):

But you just spent time saying how you don’t like when things are perfect. Fine.

Matt (02:04:28):

Well,

Laci (02:04:29):

There’s a difference between, but they don’t address the imperfection. They just pretend it all worked out. There’s a difference. There’s a difference in it’s wrong. And then going, okay, let’s shift.

Matt (02:04:39):

Yeah, nevermind that you’ve been running on a treadmill. But yeah, everything’s good. I think that I do like these guys. I like Tyree, I like Ludacris. I like Jordana Brewster. I like Sun Kang. I think Gau really sucks. It’s unbelievable how bad she’s in these movies.

Laci (02:04:55):

She’s not anything.

Matt (02:04:56):

Leo and Santos, they’re fine. I guess so. Four and a half.

Laci (02:05:02):

Alright,

Matt (02:05:02):

The best in the series. What are your thoughts?

Laci (02:05:05):

I’ve been thinking for, I’ll go four on its own terms. Four. It is not totally one of my movies, but I’ll watch it anytime it’s on.

Matt (02:05:14):

You want to watch it tonight?

Laci (02:05:15):

Nope. I don’t want to

Matt (02:05:16):

Do it. Do you want to watch next week’s movie Pain and Game?

Laci (02:05:20):

I do. I like all those guys. Wait, wait. Who is, is that Mark Wahlberg? Yes. Mark Wahlberg.

Matt (02:05:25):

We got Johnson. We got Anthony Mackey.

Laci (02:05:27):

Is he Mackey? Is he a comedian?

Matt (02:05:29):

No, he, he’s the Falcon from the fucking Marvel

Laci (02:05:33):

Movies. Oh yes. Oh, he’s just really big here. I don’t feel like I ever see him sw as, I feel like he’s in a full suit. Usually when I’ve seen him

Matt (02:05:42):

In full F suit,

Laci (02:05:43):

I don’t think of him as a big guy. He looks big.

Matt (02:05:45):

Yeah, he’s not a big guy. I mean he is like all modern male actors. He has to be like fucking Jack to the Knives.

Laci (02:05:50):

Well, the same way. I don’t think of the Chrises as Big guys, but they’re still all superheroes. But I know, but The Rock is looking. I There’s a physique and it’s not that.

Matt (02:06:02):

Yep. So this will be the first Michael Bay movie we’ve ever covered on the show

Laci (02:06:05):

For good reason. This

Matt (02:06:06):

Is usually called The Rock’s Best Performance. This is him going full like just cocaine maniac and I can’t wait to talk about it and do my That sounds fun. Mark Wahlberg impression.

Laci (02:06:17):

I’ll do a Mackey, I’ll figure it out.

Matt (02:06:20):

I’m the Falcon.

Laci (02:06:21):

No, I’ll figure it out.

Matt (02:06:22):

Please tell a friend about this podcast and tell yourself, go back into the archives, find a movie. Think of a movie that you like. We’ve covered so many movies. You can go to loadbearing beams.com/letterboxd… No, wait: loadbearingbeams.com/movies. That’ll that’ll redirect you to our Letterboxd list of every movie we’ve ever covered.

Laci (02:06:37):

Give us a comment on one of our social medias of a movie you’d like us to cover and then we will give you a shout out. Oh, that’s true. And

Matt (02:06:44):

What,

Laci (02:06:44):

Just go with it. It’s a thing. Why are you going to be like, oh, what a good idea. You make a silly here in my chairs.

Matt (02:06:50):

I rate it five Pinocchios. No good. True fact. Go to load bring beams.com Anyway. I never promote it, but it is a website and a lot of the episodes have transcripts so I

Laci (02:06:58):

Don’t It’s very organized website actually. Yeah.

Matt (02:07:01):

Yes. We’re on YouTube at LoadBearingBeamsPod. I have a video about, I have a video I did about, what was it about the movie Planet 51, which The Rock was in his first animated movie. You can check that out on YouTube. I’m on letterbox at Matt Stokes nine Lacey’s on letterbox at Letter Ring. Lacey, my band is Rural Route Nine. Thank you so much. We will talk to you next week about pain and Gain.

Laci (02:07:24):

Okay, I love you. I’m cooking.