Spice World (1997)

Laci (00:00:23):

Yoooo I tell what I want what I really really want. 

Matt (00:00:27):

I want Load Bearing Beams. Oh, good. The movie podcast hosted by Matt Stokes

Laci (00:00:32):

And Mel B! … Laci Roth.

Matt (00:00:36):

We are a married couple. This is our 150th episode. How about that?

Laci (00:00:40):

We used it on Spice World.

Matt (00:00:42):

Well, we knew we had to do a big fucking movie.

Laci (00:00:45):

Big fucking movie.

Matt (00:00:47):

A big fucking deal. And it only took us eight years to get to 150 episodes, but we did it baby. Been consistently producing episodes for two years. Now we are not a flash in the pan. Basically longer. Our podcast has existed four times as long as the Spice Girls phenomenon lasted.

Laci (00:01:03):

That is not true.

Matt (00:01:05):

The phenomenon.

Laci (00:01:06):

Okay, fine.

Matt (00:01:07):

I mean, yeah, they technically continued.

Laci (00:01:09):

Okay. But they had Grammy award winning albums and stuff up until 2000.

Matt (00:01:14):

Everyone wins Grammys.

Laci (00:01:15):

That’s not,

Matt (00:01:17):

You want to know how many Grammys the Foo Fighters have won?

Laci (00:01:19):

What

Matt (00:01:20):

Does that I don’t talk about though. What does that tell you?

Laci (00:01:22):

I won’t talk about ’em.

Matt (00:01:24):

So yeah, the Spice World for some reason seemed like a big toic movie and we watched it and now here’s a podcast about it.

Laci (00:01:31):

Yeah.

Matt (00:01:32):

I’ll just say it up at the top. Do it. I said this in my letter box review. You wish it were, it’s almost too competently made. You wish it were either much better than it is or a train wreck.

Laci (00:01:43):

Yes.

Matt (00:01:43):

And instead you’re like, oh, okay. There’s some funny jokes. Yeah. That was a movie and here we are now.

Laci (00:01:52):

It’s a movie about outfits walking by. That’s what it is.

Matt (00:01:56):

Oh, you sound like Roger Ebert. I can’t wait to read his review of Spice World. He gave

Laci (00:02:00):

Don’t

Matt (00:02:00):

Call half of a Star. He is like, they have as much charisma as a Dunking Donuts employee.

Laci (00:02:05):

Wait, those people have lots of charisma

Matt (00:02:07):

And it’s just the selfie. They

Laci (00:02:09):

Have charisma. That’s not the problem. I get the appeal.

Matt (00:02:13):

Yeah, I think they’re delightful.

Laci (00:02:15):

Yeah. It’s just, does it sustain a movie?

Matt (00:02:18):

We’ll save it for our final thoughts, but

Laci (00:02:20):

Well, I mean, my feelings on this and understanding when it came out in their career, it is just obviously like a really smart promotional idea. It’s a promo for the fact that they’re going on tour. I mean, they had their first live concert really close to the same timeline as this. They were sewing their oats No coming up the way that boy bands have to, and girl bands have to. And so it took them a while to have it live.

Matt (00:02:51):

The movie even seems to have this meta awareness of we are aware this thing is going to end real fast, so we’re going to do all the things that we need to do. We need a movie. We need toys, we need all of it.

Laci (00:03:02):

I mean, they did not beat any Beatles records, but they did equal one. And so when you think of the longevity they were allowed to have, but they played their instruments, but they did write their songs. But there’s just something about it because it’s so hinders on their looks that it can’t last. And that’s true for boy bands. They just kept comparing them to the Beatles and the stuff I was reading and it’s like you can’t compare that because their looks were only a thing for a while and it didn’t matter that much. Their music was so much more important than the looks. The Beatles. The Beatles.

Matt (00:03:37):

Yes,

Laci (00:03:38):

The Beatles.

Matt (00:03:38):

I think it was a self-conscious marketing style. They call themselves the Fab Five, and this movie is very much trying to be a hard Day’s Night, but a Hard Day’s Night was made, came out in 64, but The Beatles had been a band for years. They’d only been recording for three years. But this movie is made like six months into the Spice Girls.

Laci (00:03:56):

Right. It’s a hard day’s night mixed with Austin Powers, but not Funnyish as funny. It’s got the goof. I mean, it’s got the silliness about

Matt (00:04:07):

The Oh, in terms of humor? Yeah.

Laci (00:04:08):

Yeah. Well, I mean the gags and the way that they treat the personalities involved. Everyone’s turned up to 11.

Matt (00:04:16):

But you haven’t seen a Hard Day’s Night. A Hard Day’s Night is a comedy.

Laci (00:04:19):

Oh, okay. Well, I mean I have seen, it’s been years.

Matt (00:04:23):

I watched it last night. I’ve seen it a few times, but this is the first time where I really realized how special it

Laci (00:04:28):

Is. There’s a few Beatles movies, correct? Yes,

Matt (00:04:31):

There’s three. But that’s the best one. A Hard Day’s Night and it was made by a real director. And the Beatles are actually good at delivering jokes and stuff.

Laci (00:04:40):

I guess. I mean, in the wackiness that Austin Powers has, I mean with the van being such a joke, it doesn’t make sense. The interior, it looks like Richie Richie’s bedroom. The silliness of that is in a hard Day’s night that kind of,

Matt (00:04:54):

It has lots of absurdity, but again, it’s just very British. But the Spice World and Austin Powers came out the same year. They almost certainly had not seen Austin Powers. It’s funny. They just,

Laci (00:05:08):

But you’re right. It’s a British, it was just on This is British humor then. That makes sense. Eugene Jack both featured,

Matt (00:05:17):

Well, Britain was on the upswing. It was cool. Britannia now, and both of them rode the wave. We’ll get into all of this. We’re going to talk about all of this in immaculate detail.

Laci (00:05:27):

Okay. We didn’t even say our histories.

Matt (00:05:30):

Yes, but we did a bonus video where we named our favorite movie about a band. You can check that out on Twitter. Load Bearing Pod on Instagram, Load Bearing Beams, TikTok Load Bearing Beams, and Blue Sky Load bearing beams.

Laci (00:05:43):

50% of us changed our answer midway through the video.

Matt (00:05:47):

Me and you can check out our patreon patreon.com/load beams for Load Bearing Beams. Collectors edition. You get two bonus episodes a month this month, The Truman Show. And next week we’ll have more Spice Girls content when we review their 1997 VHS tape. One Hour of Girl Power Sign up today. Alright, so our history with the girls, what’s your history with the Spice Girls? I see

Laci (00:06:12):

You. They came onto the scene what, 1994? 96, 9 6. So I mean, their stuff was geared toward younger kids and I was that so I would’ve been what, 12? Something like that.

Matt (00:06:27):

You were 12, but I was thinking you

Laci (00:06:29):

Were, I was almost, you were

Matt (00:06:30):

Almost into Marilyn Manson.

Laci (00:06:32):

Yeah. Yeah, a little old. I was turning the corner and I would, so it was a flash in the pan for me too. And then it became a guilty pleasure. Like something you don’t talk about every single song. And of course you have their first cd, but we don’t. We make fun of it.

Matt (00:06:47):

You’re still watching Power Rangers, but you don’t tell your friends at school. You’re still watching Power

Laci (00:06:51):

Rangers. I just know this movie came out right when I started to like them, which makes sense. This was the time to sit on a movie, I guess. And I remember asking to rent it more than once, and I remember watching it over and over and over again. And that’s so weird that I committed none of it to memory, which just tells you how much of an infomercial this all really kind of is. It’s kind of nothing. There’s really nothing to hold onto. There aren’t really quotes there, nothing that stands out. It’s just fine.

Matt (00:07:23):

So much weight is put on these other actors and cameos and funny people.

Laci (00:07:28):

Yes.

Matt (00:07:28):

And the jokes are funny, but they’re not funny enough for you to be like, oh my God. The joke in Spice World when Alan Cumming says this instead, you’re just like, oh, Alan Cumming. I love him.

Laci (00:07:38):

Except for that, you’re 12 and so you don’t know Alan Cumming except for Romeo Houseke reunion and

Matt (00:07:43):

It hadn’t even come out yet.

Laci (00:07:45):

See, he’s coming. Is coming. I did not know that. That was Meatloaf when I was 12. I know who Elton John is, but what the fuck do I care? Cameos? Who are these jokes for

Matt (00:07:57):

Guilty

Laci (00:07:57):

Pleasure? Is my nature just a pleasure? I’d say, yeah. I’d say I was an out Spice Girls fan for one year and then C Closeted.

Matt (00:08:06):

So I was a very loud and proud and out Spice Girls fan, but I was the appropriate age. I was nine.

Laci (00:08:11):

Why do you have to be like that?

Matt (00:08:12):

I later became a Britney Spears fan, but in the closet. You hiding it from people?

Laci (00:08:19):

No, I was an outward hater.

Matt (00:08:21):

Yeah, I know this age. Suddenly I’m 12, almost 13. And now the boys at school wouldn’t think it’s so neat of me to Britney Spears. So I’m like, oh shit.

Laci (00:08:29):

I don’t know. I think boys, I

Matt (00:08:30):

Better start looking into new stuff.

Laci (00:08:31):

Boys got to pass on anything that was hot you just couldn’t have liked.

Matt (00:08:35):

Oh, not the tough boys. I was around. My God.

Laci (00:08:38):

Well, I mean, let’s not talk about it all the time unless you’re saying how you want to bone her as your 12-year-old self. But you can’t like Backstreet Boys. No, no, you cannot.

Matt (00:08:47):

No. It was more like, Hey, we’re done with that Now we like badass stuff. Like Kid Rock

Laci (00:08:53):

And Slip. Not Lil Kim.

Matt (00:08:54):

No, no, no. We were rock. Rock. Rap is crap. Rock is the only valid form of music

Laci (00:09:01):

That did not happen in my school. You could like both. I had a very diverse school though.

Matt (00:09:05):

My school was 16 people. That’s it. The school I was in at the time.

Laci (00:09:08):

Rap is crap.

Matt (00:09:10):

Oh,

Laci (00:09:10):

Yeahm married to a bigot.

Matt (00:09:12):

Yeah, I’m sorry. Hey, I don’t think rap is crap anymore. I just did when I was 12 and 13.

Laci (00:09:19):

Glad you got out of that

Matt (00:09:20):

Hellhole and probably until I was about 29.

Laci (00:09:22):

Wow. No, I’m kidding. Oh God, no. Remember you forced yourself to listen to Kanye’s fucking

Matt (00:09:27):

Album. Yeah, no, I Me. Yeah. Yeah, I did. Alright, so my Spice Girls history. Yeah,

Laci (00:09:35):

You haven’t said it yet.

Matt (00:09:37):

That’s what I’m about to say. That’s why I said

Laci (00:09:39):

No, I’m shocked you haven’t said it yet.

Matt (00:09:40):

Okay, so they come out in 96, but it was a funny time where you didn’t launch worldwide at the same time. They didn’t get to America till 97,

Laci (00:09:48):

Which

Matt (00:09:48):

Is funny. They had all their singles out in Britain. It’s like now we’ll go over to America it

Laci (00:09:53):

Because they needed Simon Fuller, right? They had to drop their first

Matt (00:09:58):

Label. No, they already had him before they

Laci (00:10:01):

Report. Yeah, but he’s the one who decided they’d have an LA tour,

Matt (00:10:04):

As in the singles weren’t even released in America, which used to be like industry practice for some reason.

Laci (00:10:10):

You get more mileage and you can’t tour everywhere at once. So you got to tour when it’s hot. It makes sense. Tour over here, get all the money, exhaust your musicians, and then do another exhaustive tour once this becomes hot over here, assuming

Matt (00:10:27):

And kind of the last few years where that could actually be a thing before the internet arrived and just all of the world existed at the same time. I remember being in college and hearing about the Arctic Monkeys. Ooh, this band is huge in Britain and they’re coming. They’re coming for America.

Laci (00:10:41):

Here they come.

Matt (00:10:42):

Yes. It was the first musical act I ever loved and my friend Caleb Basquez of the show loved them too. My brother did.

Laci (00:10:51):

Did you love TLC?

Matt (00:10:52):

No, I didn’t know any other musicians. It was like, that’s the one. What is music? It’s Spice Girls. You

Laci (00:11:00):

Used to buy Teen Beat, tiger

Matt (00:11:01):

Beat? No, no, no, no.

Laci (00:11:02):

How did you even,

Matt (00:11:03):

I didn’t know anything

Laci (00:11:04):

About Nickelodeon. Is it Nickelodeon? Did they introduce you to these girls?

Matt (00:11:07):

I don’t know. I don’t know how I found out about them. I’m sure just riding the bus would hear, tell you what I want, what I really, really

Laci (00:11:13):

Want. Well, what’d you hear it on though, Matt? The radio?

Matt (00:11:15):

Yeah.

Laci (00:11:15):

Then you knew no other music, but the Spice Girls because it,

Matt (00:11:18):

This is the one that stuck with me. I don’t know what to tell you. The branding worked. Oh, there’s five of ’em. They’ve each got distinct. I’ve got distinct personality.

Laci (00:11:25):

I’ve got, alright, come on,

Matt (00:11:26):

You come on.

Laci (00:11:27):

I’ll

Matt (00:11:28):

Not. And Ginger Spice was my favorite. Bought the CD and was a giant fan. And then this movie came out and I remember saying, it’s the funniest movie I’ve ever seen, but I knew I was lying. I didn’t actually think it was that good, but I had to say that it was good. And I think pretty quickly after that, I was actually probably only a fan for five months. But when you’re a kid, that’s like 10 years.

Laci (00:11:54):

Well, and the idea that music can become part of your identity and sometimes a lot of your identity is, it’s so new at that time in your life and then it becomes like, duh. Yeah.

Matt (00:12:07):

But yeah, I didn’t read any magazines or go to websites or anything new, nothing about them personally. I literally liked the music and liked thinking.

Laci (00:12:14):

But you could,

Matt (00:12:14):

Hey, they exist.

Laci (00:12:15):

You take the booklet out of the CD and you just v it. I don’t even read, but I read that. And if there’s pictures,

Matt (00:12:22):

You know what else? I remember for a long time it was the only cd, the only album that I knew Forward to Backward

Laci (00:12:28):

The

Matt (00:12:29):

Whole album. And later when I got seriously into music and started listening to whole albums, I was like, this is kind of like when I listened to Spice Girls and I even knew the songs like Mama and Naked, not just the three singles

Laci (00:12:40):

That start the album

Matt (00:12:42):

Now. It had been truly since the late nineties that you’ll hear one of be on the radio. I took my son mini golfing a lot last summer and at the mini golf course where they have a 14 song playlist want to be played every day. And I was like, oh hey, this song’s a bop, isn’t it? To myself,

Speaker 3 (00:13:00):

Son.

Matt (00:13:03):

But I hadn’t heard the rest of the songs. I don’t know. I don’t know if they don’t get played or whatever. So I forced myself to listen to both of the Spice Girls albums and say, you’ll be there. Starts playing and 10 seconds in that synthesizer starts and I’m like, I’m coming. I’m like, holy shit, this is so fucking good. And for like 48 hours it was just stuck in my head.

Laci (00:13:29):

And then you put that in mine and now I’m still singing it.

Matt (00:13:32):

And then I started playing it on, we were visiting your brother who just had a baby.

Laci (00:13:36):

When

Matt (00:13:37):

You have a newborn baby, there’s not really anything to do, so you just sit around. He also had gotten a new guitar. So I got out as a guitar and I was just playing and after a while it was like Dutches Spice Girls. And he is like, what?

Laci (00:13:48):

But why?

Matt (00:13:49):

He was giving you everything that Joy can bring this sway and your brothers swear all that I want from you is you’ll be there. Say there. And he said something like, oh, that just made my heart feel something.

Laci (00:14:16):

Yeah, I know. Because for

Matt (00:14:17):

Some reason it activates something.

Laci (00:14:18):

There’s a moment like you just unabashedly love something that’s just fucking light and good and cheerful and you’re a kid and it’s not weird that you like it and then it becomes this thing you hide. So when it comes out again, it’s like, oh, I remember happy.

Matt (00:14:38):

But also,

Laci (00:14:39):

No, I’m

Matt (00:14:39):

Right. I’m not disagreeing. What?

Laci (00:14:42):

Well then don’t start with no.

Matt (00:14:44):

Well that’s just an English language. Tick. We all have.

Laci (00:14:46):

No, you have,

Matt (00:14:47):

You have. I edit this podcast. Yes, you have. I edit this podcast. Yes

Laci (00:14:51):

You have.

Matt (00:14:52):

Okay, I get it. I get it. You don’t do that. To listen to it as an adult and realize I’m sophisticated. I know all about music and production and this is good. This is legitimately good. These not all of the songs are as good, but I didn’t even understand how well produced. This is how well-written this is kind

Laci (00:15:11):

Of

Matt (00:15:11):

Clever. It is. And there’s a fucking harmonica solo. Oh my God. There’s nothing like this. Anyway, I had a lot of fun listening to the music and watched this movie and thought

Laci (00:15:22):

Less fun.

Matt (00:15:23):

Not as fun as that music. But hey, I like these guys. I have nothing but goodwill toward

Laci (00:15:29):

Same

Matt (00:15:29):

Spice Girls. Shall we talk about the history now?

Laci (00:15:32):

I think you might mean Touch and or Spice and then Spice Girls, they were called Touch in the beginning.

Matt (00:15:41):

Oh really? Okay. Laci has prepared a history. Oh fuck. Of the Spice Girls. I forgot what you mean. The musical act. I want to ground us though. First in Cool Bri,

Laci (00:16:15):

Give it up.

Matt (00:16:15):

Alright. So with the death of Queen Victoria in 1901, the Victorian era of British history was officially over. Now, the British Empire at this point was at its absolute peak, one of the greatest powers the world had ever seen. The sun never sets on the British empire. The famous saying went in practice. Of course, this meant that the government in London directly or indirectly held colonial dominion over people all over the world, most notably the billion people on the Indian subcontinent. Now fast forward to the first World War, suddenly a new player has arrived on stage the United States of America.

Laci (00:16:47):

I know

Matt (00:16:48):

Them. Then Britain emerged victorious after the Second World War, but seriously hobbled. And it had to begin dismantling its empire decolonizing worldwide retreating into a more minor position on the world stage. The rest of the century will not be centered on Great Britain. It’ll be centered on the United States and on the Soviet Union. But the Western world in particular now revolves around America, especially economically militarily. And for our purposes here, for this discussion, culturally, this was a new thing. Britain doesn’t control the world’s culture. However, in the 1960s, the immediate aftermath of the wharf moves into the past and a youth movement takes hold centered in London, known as the Swinging sixties, the MA movement, the British exploitation of music and fashion, the sexual liberation movement. But it was not to last. Britain entered the doldrums of the seventies and eighties. Margaret Thatcher’s, government austerity, government de-industrialized the entire country, privatized all the industries, shifted massive amounts of wealth out of the working class. But we get to the nineties and things seem like they’re turning around and the Cold War is over. The world’s in a relative state of peace. And after two decades of conservative rule, we finally have change, or at least the illusion of change in the figure of Tony Blair, the country’s first labor prime minister since the seventies. And he is relatively speaking a young person and he’s a hunk. And so

Laci (00:18:13):

He also, relatively speaking,

Matt (00:18:15):

Yeah, he embodies this feeling that they, at the time called Cool Britannia, this feeling of optimism, of renewal of British patriotism and British pride in the fact that people around the world, like the shit we make right now, music, Oasis and Blur, and this house music scene in the London Clubs, movies like Trainspotting and Four Weddings in a Funeral. Princess Diana is one of the most famous people in the world, and nothing is bigger indeed than the Spice Girls who could only have taken over at this specific moment in history when everybody was just ready to celebrate British stuff. And the Spice World movie is very British. I was kind of impressed with how much they allowed a lot of British specificity to be there. But this is the environment that the Spice Girls explode in.

Laci (00:19:04):

So they formed in 1994 because a father and a son put out an ad in a paper looking for something to counter the popular boy bands at the time, 400 girls auditioned and four were chosen. Victoria Adams, Melanie Brown, Melanie Koma, and Michelle Stevenson. 1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 4. Yes. But Melanie Chisel. Yeah. Wow. There’s three. I’m just now

Matt (00:19:33):

There’s two. Melanie Cs. Yeah,

Laci (00:19:35):

That’s two many.

Matt (00:19:36):

There’s first Melanie C who got replaced with the second one. Who was the one who lasted?

Laci (00:19:41):

Did you want to do this? My mom, because she couldn’t be present because she had tonsillitis. But after, okay. That’s why I got confused. After Melanie Koma was let go, she was replaced with the next Melanie C and she was like go. I think because she just wasn’t as dedicated, something like that. They moved all the girls into a three bedroom house in Berkshire, and they spent most of the entire year of 1994 practicing songs written for them by Bob Abe’s long time associate, John Freckle and who care, I guess we care According to Stevenson, the songs were aimed at a very young audience and none were later used by the Spice Girls. Interesting. Okay. So they just practiced being banned and getting harmonic. They

Matt (00:20:34):

Get harmonic.

Laci (00:20:35):

They had a vote vocal coach at the time and dancing and a dance choreographer. And let’s see, for some reason they needed, sorry, there was so much. There’s no way for me to really summarize this without it still being a lot of reading. And I’m not a strong reader.

Matt (00:20:55):

It’s a lot, but I think it’s a very, very interesting story.

Laci (00:20:58):

Well, for some reason, Emma Burton gets brought on five months into this situation. I don’t know if it’s because they needed a fifth member or because someone, I think they just needed five. Let’s see, in 1995, they leave heart management because they don’t feel like they’re listening to their ideas. And so apparently they allegedly stole the master recordings of their discography from the management offices and went on over to Simon Fuller. Now they’re called Spice and they get signed with virgin records. By this point, industry buzz around the spice around spice had grown to around to major recording labels.

Matt (00:21:43):

Well, what’s kind of unique here is that the way that boy and girl bands are put together is they’re put together in a very artificial way. A manager’s does exactly what happens here. Put out a notice. We want girls, hundreds of girls audition. They pick the five. They’re like, now you girls are best friends live in a house together and I control your lives for the next 20 years. And often there’s horrible tales of sexual abuse going on among both girl and boy bands. The difference here is these girls actually are talented, become legitimate friends. And then because of this quirk where this management company never signed them to a deal because it’s like we want you to have to work to get the deal. We’re doing you a favor by doing all of this for you. And if we give you a deal, that means we really believe in you, but they realize we have something here and say, we’re not signing. We’re going to go find a real manager.

Laci (00:22:32):

And

Matt (00:22:33):

From then on, they’re in charge of their careers.

Laci (00:22:35):

But I thought it was interesting that they fire Simon Fuller and then steal his phone because they wanted all of us contacts and stuff, or that Jerry stole his phone. Jerry, I think might be the interesting glue in this band that made them maybe a little more stronger, a little bit more. And you can pick up that in the movie. She’s kind of the voice. She’s a little bit more of the badass and it seems like she’s stole the

Matt (00:22:57):

Yeah, and you pointed out how much older is she than the other? She’s like three years older than

Laci (00:23:01):

The rest, and she just kind of seems like she knows her worth. And she’s the most out there with her outfit choices. It seems like what she’s wearing, she’s picked it out. Not like, oh, she’s the least creative fucking nickname. Ginger, you have red hair. So she just got to be whatever she wanted and she decided on bombshell Ginger doesn’t mean bombshell.

Matt (00:23:23):

Yeah. Simon Fuller is this powerhouse manager and later went on to start. I

Laci (00:23:28):

Know who he is.

Matt (00:23:30):

I’m explaining to the,

Laci (00:23:32):

Everyone knows who he is from the fucking they do. Everyone knows Simon from fucking, that’s

Matt (00:23:37):

Simon Callow or Cowell. That’s Simon Cowell from America’s.

Laci (00:23:41):

You have no proof of that

Matt (00:23:42):

American Idol.

Laci (00:23:43):

They’re not the same fucking

Matt (00:23:45):

No. But this guy also is huge in Britain’s got talent in reality show competition

Laci (00:23:49):

Towards That’s why. That’s why because Britain’s got talent. American Idol is just a knockoff of that. And when America’s got talent,

Matt (00:23:56):

Damn

Laci (00:23:57):

It.

Matt (00:23:57):

Okay. Yes. You were so sure. I was like, I don’t think people have heard of this guy.

Laci (00:24:01):

I you’ve heard of him, but not,

Matt (00:24:02):

Yeah, I

Laci (00:24:03):

Think he’s the other one.

Matt (00:24:05):

And yes, he very closely managed their career. They were his personal project, this movie he was totally in charge of until they fired him, mid production, although his brother is the screenwriter and basically seems like the shadow director of the movie. And then it seems like they brought him back later in their career. So they record the first single wannabe in the summer of 96. They release it, it’s a giant hit. Then they do say you’ll be there. Then they do two become one, and then they release their debut album. So the singles Pres precede the album. They release the album, then the singles get released in America. Then the album in America in 97, later in 97 Spice World, the movie comes out Spice World, the album comes out. That’s their second album slash soundtrack to the movie. And then by the next year, Jerry leaves the band. And that’s that. I mean, as far as them being the biggest band in the world, because they still go on without her.

Laci (00:24:55):

They do tour without a right. But yeah, as soon as there’s a crack, and then it’s not long before it’s this complete hiatus because how can you have a baby and be in this band? Your body can’t change at all.

Matt (00:25:09):

And it seems like for fans, they’re like, well, they fired their manager, but maybe the manager was the one keeping the ship running. Or there’s a long history of managers who band members hate, but they’re like, but that manager, he kept this on. He managed the different egos in the band of the Beatles. Famously their manager died and the band kind of cracked after that.

Laci (00:25:27):

I mean, you could say that they’re keeping it together, but that doesn’t mean it’s for the health of all of them. I think it’s really healthy that they did. They did this. They were a big firework show and they got a bunch of money. They were smart in how they did it and kept the money and got to do other things because of being a spice girl, but also got to have a normal life. I mean, I don’t know how normal, but it seems like they got to go on and do normal shit. None of ’em got a drug habit or none of them have a tragic story. That’s something.

Matt (00:26:00):

Yes. And because they had the business savvy Well, and the creative desire, they’re the songwriters. And when you write songs, you get so much more money than Nons songwriters and maintained ownership of their career. Yeah, they got very, very rich, very, very quickly and didn’t have to keep going. They did one more album in 2000 forever. I remember when that came out, I saw a commercial for it and I was like, what is this shit? They all look different now. What the fuck?

Laci (00:26:24):

See, you can’t do anything when you’re all, it’s, it’s such a personality that’s been carved out for you.

Matt (00:26:32):

Yeah, they did one reunion tour with the full lineup in oh eight and then did another reunion tour five years ago, but without Victoria Beckham. But I was looking at the calendar. Next year will be 30 years of Spice Girls, I think would be surprised if we see a Big Spice Girls tour.

Laci (00:26:52):

Sure.

Matt (00:26:53):

Put that on your radar, folks. I’m getting predictions correctly lately.

Laci (00:26:57):

This one isn’t that out there, Matt, but all right. Oh, but hot severance take. I’m wondering if I’m going to be proven right this Friday that Ms. Wong is their child, mark and Gemma’s kid.

Matt (00:27:13):

You could be. Why this Friday? Would you be proven? Right?

Laci (00:27:17):

Because the name of the episode is Attila and Attila means father. And at the end of the last episode, the last thing that Ms. Casey says to his Audi is Mark s is a good, and then the next episode’s name Father.

Matt (00:27:33):

Okay. All right.

Laci (00:27:33):

Unless hell, he’s pregnant. In which case, that’s fun. I like that better.

Matt (00:27:37):

Yeah, you could be right, but that would suck. My least favorite thing about the show is the Gemma thing. I’ve thought that since the first season. I totally forgot about that part.

Laci (00:27:46):

I’m with you

Matt (00:27:47):

Actually. And we then revisited the show. I had no memory of this kind of sucks. I don’t want his wife to be secretly alive

Laci (00:27:55):

With you. Guess We’ll see why it needed to be there. Sorry. We’re having severance talk in the middle of our Spice Girls episode, but they have so much in common.

Matt (00:28:04):

Here’s a reunion prediction I want to make. Okay.

Laci (00:28:09):

They bring their children and they all have little girls. They all kind of look like them, and they’re all around the same age.

Matt (00:28:14):

Hey, I mean,

Laci (00:28:15):

That’s baby spice, but all of them,

Matt (00:28:18):

The Eagles now, I think there’s one real eagle left, and now they just have the Eagle’s sons are taking over. Glen Fry’s son takes over, et cetera. Okay, I think I might’ve said this on the podcast before, but I feel really strongly about it now. So I talked about going to see Queen in 2019 Live. Queen had been touring forever since Freddie Mercury died. They just had different singers at this point. They had Adam Lambert Nirvana when they got inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Obviously Kurt Cobain died in 1994. He was the singer and guitar player and the main reason that band exists. But Dave Grohl and Chris Nova Selleck, the other two plus their touring guitarist, pat Smear reunited and had a rotating crew of lady singers. They had St. Vincent and Lord and Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth and Joan Jett.

Laci (00:29:06):

That was a smart way to play that shit.

Matt (00:29:08):

And they fans refer to that as Herana. Oh, they did it again recently for the La Wildfire benefits.

Laci (00:29:16):

Oh wow.

Matt (00:29:17):

They did the same group of women, except with Dave Crow’s daughter instead of Lord,

Laci (00:29:24):

I knew it was going to be Lord being replaced.

Matt (00:29:27):

And then at the SNL 50th anniversary last week, they got together again, but this time on guitar and lead vocals was Post Malone. And he sounds fine. He does a decent impression. Kurt Cobain. So I was thinking Nirvana with Post Malone. I think kids wear Nirvana shirts. It’s crazy. Nirvana shirts get sold at Walmart corn

Laci (00:29:53):

Shirts too.

Matt (00:29:53):

That too. But I think

Laci (00:29:55):

Nirvana is more ubiquitous though.

Matt (00:29:59):

I think we might be at the stage where they don’t actually know who Kurt Cobain is. And thus I don’t care. I’ll get to go see Nirvana in concert. And plus you have all the people in their thirties and forties with disposable income.

Laci (00:30:10):

What is your prediction that that’ll be a tour

Matt (00:30:13):

That they will tour Nirvana and Post Malone?

Laci (00:30:15):

I mean, it brings, it’s always good to cross do something that pulls in two different audiences and has a big Venn diagram middle of overlap.

Matt (00:30:27):

I thought that they would do this. I’ve been thinking, what if they did that for a while? But with Joan Jett or one of the others, I think the thing preventing it was Dave Grohl is super successful with his own band.

Laci (00:30:37):

I think you’re halfway,

Matt (00:30:37):

Halfway

Laci (00:30:38):

There. Go on.

Matt (00:30:40):

He’s got an expensive divorce. He

Laci (00:30:43):

Needs some money. Is it a secret? I would not be surprised if it’s a mixture, because you got to think if they’re bringing in Post Malone, post Malone’s also going to need to open with his songs too, for his audience. At least a few of them. So you’re going to wear him out. So Havana mixed with the Post Malone one because it was both successful and it brings in yet a third audience. Especially if you bring in someone like Joan Jet. So then you’re crossing decades.

Matt (00:31:08):

There you go.

Laci (00:31:09):

And she’s got time. I would think St. Vincent’s doing her own thing. She probably couldn’t do it. But what if it’s just her whole Nirvana festival? Then it’s all the people who do it. But then Lord gets no St. Vincent gets to play a set of her own shit, post Malone, his own shit, and then they come together.

Matt (00:31:32):

The only thing is these mega tours that tour arenas,

Laci (00:31:36):

You’re

Matt (00:31:36):

Not really going for a festival. You’re going for one band with a very elaborate stage show. You’re catering to 30 and 40 year olds

Laci (00:31:43):

Who

Matt (00:31:43):

Just want an hour and a half show they want to sit down and then leave at nine o’clock.

Laci (00:31:47):

So I guess I don’t mean festival, but a collection of the two things they did really well. So Havana and then Malone vna. Thea,

Matt (00:31:57):

Call us. There we go. Yes. I think the other thing that’s the hurdle is I think Courtney Love still owns Navy controlling shares of Nirvana or whatever. And she and Gabe role have always feuded. I don’t know where that stands. Let do a, but yeah, let Hole come along too. Fucking

Laci (00:32:13):

Like

Matt (00:32:13):

Hole. Do I want this to happen? No, I think it would suck, but I’m watching. It’ll be fun. If I’m right. Watch the space. We’re going to see it. Okay. So yeah, spice World, the movie. Okay. As Spice World. Yes. I swear as this movie depicts Hollywood producers, were pitching the Spice Girls Management for various ideas. What’s the Spice Girls movie going to be? Well, what if they live in a house and they have a mother? And this basically starts with the Spice Girls and Simon Fuller, and he’s like, girls, what do you want to do with your career? And they’re like, we want to be really big and we want to make a movie. So that’s the plan from the beginning. LeBron James wants to be Michael Jordan. That includes having to make a space jam.

Laci (00:33:00):

That’s actually really smart because they can get out ahead of stuff before they’re completely boxed in by what people think they are. And they can give their little quips and say their thoughts on what people have assigned to them and buy into the parts they want to, but then expand on where they want to as well. I think that’s actually a very smart move for them to get to have their own voice. So early on where performers that don’t speak much don’t get that

Matt (00:33:27):

People will decide for you.

Laci (00:33:29):

Yeah.

Matt (00:33:30):

So Simon Fuller’s brother, Kim Fuller was a TV writer who had written for the Tracy Oman show and Red Dwarf Simon told The Telegraph, or no, Kim Fuller told the Telegraph in 2018 in a retrospective on Spice World, Simon was taking them to the states and talking to people in Los Angeles trying to whip up interest for a movie. Disney signed as an option on them. But when the girls read the script, they didn’t like it. I got hold of it. It was conventional Disney fodder. The girls were fictionalized to a certain extent. There was a single mother, one of the girls was supporting an ill relative and they ended up being globally famous. The girls didn’t want to do it. I said, I’d write something on spec.

Laci (00:34:05):

Yeah, they absolutely disneyfied them. We know we need parent drama. It’s a Disney thing. We can’t just all be well adjusted and having a good time in our lives right now. And none of us are a whore. None of us are addicted to anything, and none of us is the bitch. What’s really refreshing is there’s not a mean one.

Matt (00:34:23):

Yeah. No, there’s not a mean one. But they still will allow them to be like petty and can touch other to shut up

Laci (00:34:30):

And stuff. But they’re friends and there are stereotyped, but they don’t make, there’s no villain. There’s no ganging up on anybody. You don’t get to see women like that in movies in pop culture. Not then. They had to have drama. That’s maybe what kind of leaves it a little bit flat in this movie is that there’s just not drama, not really nothing they don’t overcome because they’re such bad asses who take over

Matt (00:34:59):

And the drama never feels real or has any lingering consequences in the movie. Like, wow, they offended the Pope never brought up again. Wow. They had a thing with a boat. Who cares? So Kim Fuller wrote the script and then he brought on another screenwriter to help Jamie Curtis. Jamie Curtis said, in 2018, Kim had written a script, which was called Five. It was very much a TV script and reasonably straighter down the line as though it was three days in the life of the girls, a bit more in that hard days night sort of vein. Simon had very specific ideas about what he didn’t want the film to be. The mandate was bright and big and fun. So to direct, they hire Bob Spears, who was a veteran British TV comedy director, but he had no experience with feature films and he has a huge list of TV credits.

(00:35:43):

And I looked at this list of credits and did not recognize a single one of these shows. They’re all British shows. Kim Fuller said we wanted Bob Spears because Bob had done Faulty Towers. He was a good film director in TV land, and he’d done comic strip stuff. We said to him, look, they’re not going to learn the lines and they’re not going to be diligent about having rehearsals and they’re not going to be doing more than a few takes. They’ve barely acted. They’re not actors as such. We got on and he’d let me be on the set. So it seems like they hired this guy. They could push him around, and I would not say this movie’s especially well directed, but it’s functional. This guy, Bob Spear, he went on to direct the Christina Ricci, Doug, Doug vehicle, that darn cat.

(00:36:27):

And then he directed a movie called Kevin of the North and then died in 2008. So he’s not available to give his side of the story. But in another retrospective, the cinematographer on Spice World seemed to blame Bob Spears for not being out of his depths for being a first time director. And this whole thing got away from him. So they start filming in June, 1997, takes about two months, the budget is $25 million while it’s happening. They have a million things going on. The Spice Girls do. And this is just another one of the things they have to do. Oh, today we’re shooting for the movie. But everybody says they were so professional, nobody worked harder. They just couldn’t do things like learn lines or

Laci (00:37:11):

Do

Matt (00:37:11):

Blocking rehearsals and stuff like that. So the movie is mostly when you see them, it’s just, just energy. Just give me energy and just say some few things. We’re never going to linger along with any one of you. And they’re charming.

Laci (00:37:24):

Yeah, they’re fun. And the thing with Jerry, with her knowing things from books, I mean, that feels real. That feels like these are really their personalities. Some of it’s amplified. I mean, I don’t know how much Victoria is actually that. She actually was my favorite one to watch because she’s so unabashedly doesn’t want to do, doesn’t want to do anything she doesn’t want to do.

Matt (00:37:45):

Yeah, it’s funny. Yeah, she is good.

Laci (00:37:47):

I mean, she knows what she’s giving and she gives it

Matt (00:37:52):

The jerry thing with the reciting facts. See, that struck me as the opposite. It’s like, we got to give you something.

Laci (00:37:58):

I don’t think so. I think that, I mean, I read her as the powerhouse of it. I mean, I know Sporty Spice comes off as the, well, scary and sporty can kind of come off as the wearing pants and maybe it’d be the tough ones. But I definitely view Jerry as the mouth and the one that’s got the sense of justice and it’s scary is backing her up. And then the rest follow Victoria, the straggler in heels and doesn’t care that much.

Matt (00:38:29):

So they would film for hours and hours during the day and then went to their mobile studio to record their album at night. Like the movie ends with them performing Spice Up Your Life. And in reality, they wrote that song one day before they filmed the scene.

Laci (00:38:42):

I love that song. Well, it’s got problems as we turned to each other last night when one line came across and we’re like, oh, my

Matt (00:38:50):

Yellow Man and Tim Buck,

Laci (00:38:53):

God.

Matt (00:38:54):

So this movie gets released in 1997, December 26th, 1997. A 10-year-old Matt sees it in theaters, gets a little boner and gives the movie a thumbs up. But reviews are vicious. Here’s Roger Ebert’s Half Star review. The Spice Girls are easy to tell apart than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But that is small consolation. What can you say about five women whose principle distinguishing characteristic is that they have different names. They occupy Spice Girl as if they were watching it. They’re so detached. They can’t even successfully lip sync their own songs during a rehearsal scene. The director tells them with such truth that we may be hearing a secret message from the screenwriter that was absolutely perfect without being actually any good. Spice World is obviously intended as a ripoff of a hard Day’s night, which gave the Beatles to the movies they should have ripped off more everything they could get their hands on. The movie is a day in the life of musical group that has become an overnight success. And we see them rehearse, perform, hang out together, and deal with such desperately contrived supporting characters as a trash newspaper editor, paparazzi and a manipulative manager. All of these elements are inspired in one way or another by a hard day’s night. The huge difference, of course, is that the Beatles were talented. While, let’s face it, the Spice Girls could be duplicated by any five women under the age of 30 standing in line at Dunking Donuts.

Laci (00:40:07):

He can eat shit that’s so fucking sexist. I know these girls auditioned out of 400 girls and were picked. I know they weren’t picked for this to act, but they have fucking Don’t make me stand up for this movie. Charisma and Personality and a voice and the one that’s quiet. She uses it as her thing. That’s fucking cool. And for Sporty Spice to signal Gay or just to be that tomboy, that’s a big fucking deal. People weren’t doing that. White people,

Matt (00:40:46):

I agree that The Beatles are better, but yes, I’m more on your Yes, I think they’re great. I think these, but The

Laci (00:40:52):

Beatles got to do it after having been together way longer and getting more footing underneath them. They’d been practicing forever.

Matt (00:41:00):

If the Spice Girls had had more time, maybe they could have been as good. You’re right.

Laci (00:41:03):

I think so. And they’re asking them to do, now that I understand what they were doing, they’re just like, this is one thing on my schedule today. Pretend to be in this other place in this movie. Man, fuck that. All it really was supposed to be was like, get a little bit more of us. We can tell you a little bit more about our personality. Look, we’re fun. We actually are that, and that’s all it’s set out to do.

Matt (00:41:30):

I mean, having watched a Hard Day’s night, I can see where he is coming from in that. If the director of Spice World is like, we’re going to try to do an homage to a hard Day’s night, I don’t think an homage, but we’re not going,

Laci (00:41:41):

I think it’s this works. We’ll do that.

Matt (00:41:43):

There’s a lot. There’s the scene where they answer questions from the reporters and stuff. There’s a lot of one-to-ones. If you’re going to lean into it, maybe you need to work harder to understand what made a hard day’s night so great. And that probably also means you need an actually good director. Richard Lester was a great director. Bob Spear was not, but it is incredible. I just watched a Hard Day’s Night. It’s like they’re so good at acting. It’s crazy. They’re so great at delivering jokes and the spice girls are not

Laci (00:42:11):

Well, but maybe the person directing them insisted that they do a few dozen takes where it was known upfront like don’t ask them to do a lot, which that’s what makes me feel like, yeah, that was a framework for what they were going to do. And if there’s a one-to-one, then it’s because that was easy. This all seems like it was meant to be very disposable and just to resonate with who it was meant to resonate with. And it was clearly enough, it made money and it did what it was supposed to do. It made super fans out of big

Speaker 3 (00:42:43):

Fans,

Laci (00:42:44):

And it was always going to be short-lived, and it was not taking itself seriously. So why spend a ton of time on something if the world’s not going to take you seriously? The Beatles were already fucking taken seriously. The Beatles have a place forever.

Matt (00:42:57):

But one of the miracles about the Beatles is that on top of everything else, they also made an all time great movie. That’s crazy. And addition to being the greatest musical act of the 20th century, they made a great movie. Yeah, that’s probably too ambitious to

Laci (00:43:12):

Do. Well, and I’m sure their schedule was carved out to do that. And they were given the proper backup of credible directors. And I’m just saying, I don’t think the resources were spent on that in that way for the Spice Girls, I think it was on wardrobe and the bus, it wasn’t on, here’s an acting coach. They gave them vocal coaches and choreography lessons and stuff to build the band, but they didn’t give them anything to be actors.

Matt (00:43:43):

So credit The Beatles for hiring a director who they would then let be their actual boss, which clearly was not the case here. And that’s the history of Spice World. It was a moderate hit it double dig budget worldwide. But I think maybe they were hoping for an actual blockbuster, but it made tons of money on home video and stuff.

Laci (00:44:02):

Sometimes I think that I’ve got the cheat code to something comes easy to me and I’m like, I’ll just keep doing that. I’ll give half my effort because I did it really well this first time, and then I’ll put out that second thing and I’m not really going to give you an example of what I’m talking about. And then the second thing does nothing. It just turns out you can psych yourself up into thinking I could do things with less effort and they’re still good. It’s like that was probably an outlier. So you go to do that again and you’re like, alright, I should have put more effort into, so I could see them being like, man, we really got famous Quick. I bet we could be famous on the movies. And then you probably should have given your whole ass and not your half ass.

Matt (00:44:45):

I’d love to hear what your example is.

Laci (00:44:47):

I’ll tell you off air. Okay.

Matt (00:45:22):

All right. So the movie opens with them playing too much on top of the pops. Each Spice World gets a title card. It is funny that it’s like, do you see the name Mel b, Mel C? They give all of them. And then Richard E. Grant, Alan Cumming in Spice World. It’s funny that you remember this movie just opening up with Yeah. Tell you what I, but it opens with their

Speaker 3 (00:45:43):

Slow

Matt (00:45:45):

Ballad. They’re performing this on top of the pops in the crowd. We see Alan Cumming as the documentarian who’s working on a movie about them. This is one of so many threads going on in this

Laci (00:45:55):

Movie.

Matt (00:45:56):

The documentary, the manager, the Roger Moore, the paparazzi, the movie producers

Laci (00:46:00):

We’re trying to get a movie made, but we’re already having a documentary made. But it sounds like that is what they did. I mean, they have one hour of Girl Power. What is that? Is it a documentary of them on tour?

Matt (00:46:09):

Yeah, it’s like a DVD special feature, but yeah.

Laci (00:46:11):

Right. So it just sounds like they’re like, no, this feels chaotic because this is our life. And on top of that, we’ve got friends who are going into the phase of their lives where they’re having kids and doing normal things that Young twenties do. And we’re also trying to keep up with them. I think the chaos is intentional,

Matt (00:46:31):

But I love Alan Cumming, but I would say you could remove him from the movie completely. And the movie would not change one Iota

Laci (00:46:37):

Completely

Matt (00:46:37):

And not in a, he doesn’t affect the plot. He just makes no impact whatsoever. Richard E. Grant plays their manager Clifford though. He is very, very funny. He’s so funny. He’s what makes the movie work, and he is escorting them to their bus and they’re bantering and he’s like, oh, you Spice Girls. Oh. And they’re like, oh, Clifford, you love us? And he’s like, yeah, I love you. A wildebeest loves Five Lion and says, chewing on his legs.

Laci (00:47:02):

That sounds nice.

Matt (00:47:03):

And then they run into Elton John. The whole point of Elton John showing up is like, Hey, it’s Elton John.

Laci (00:47:09):

I take all the cameos out. At least Meet Loaf is a good actor. So I’m okay with him driving the bus. I just don’t need the Wing in the nod of That’s my song lyric. Just be in the movie. It’s already funny that you’re in the movie. Just stop breaking the fourth wall.

Matt (00:47:26):

The joke should not just be, look, it’s a cameo. It should be like meatloaf. It’s not that funny. But at least he makes a joke.

Laci (00:47:33):

Right? Well, and at least he has a role. Elton John only had time to walk by and give them a hug then just don’t use them.

Matt (00:47:39):

Right. Well, Elvis Costello appears, but his appearance is in service of a joke. That’s funny.

Laci (00:47:45):

Right, right. And it’s like if Elton John, all he could do is it would be much funnier if he just took the five minutes to take their ticket, if he was just the person taking tickets at the concert. Something really up beneath him really quick. It’s just funny. It’s an Easter egg.

Matt (00:48:01):

That would be funny.

Laci (00:48:01):

And he could be wearing, wearing all the studded things and glasses and fully Elton and just be like, ticket mate and then move on. But it’s like he put it in the writer that they have to celebrate me, kissed me and slapped me on the ass.

Matt (00:48:14):

But maybe the point is, he as this avatar of British fame is like, I’m acknowledging you my Spice Girl.

Laci (00:48:22):

And that is how I took it.

Matt (00:48:24):

So the spice girls go outside to walk to their bus, but first they have to pass a mob of children. But they’re good people. They sign as many autographs as they can, and gosh, they’d love to sign all of them.

Laci (00:48:34):

So they’re leaving top of the pops. This is what was confusing to me, that they’re about to do their first live concert. And I’m like, what were they just fucking doing?

Matt (00:48:44):

No, no. The movie doesn’t sell you at all on why it’s a big deal that they’re playing at the Albert Hall, but it’s just like, Hey, it’s a historic venue.

Laci (00:48:54):

And that’s what this movie’s building to

Matt (00:48:56):

Yes.

Laci (00:48:57):

Get ’em to the Greek.

Matt (00:48:58):

Yeah. It’s not actually their first concert they’ve done, that’s not what the movie’s saying. It’s just for some reason, this concert’s very important.

Laci (00:49:06):

Yeah, it is confusing. I was like, you already seen a girl band that’s been around for a minute, that’s got a ton of fans. What the fuck you’ve been doing birthday parties

Matt (00:49:16):

And whenever they’re like, we have to prepare. Oh, I’m so scared of the concert. Why

Laci (00:49:22):

You’re the Jackson five. All you’ve done since you’ve met is prepare.

Matt (00:49:26):

I’ve been watching this movie for 90 minutes and have seen you do nothing but play concerts. I don’t know, I think it says, I’m not a Londoner, but I think the Albert Hall is a big deal. There you go. And also this concert will be going out live all over the world.

Laci (00:49:41):

So yeah, if they could have explained a little bit better, like, Hey, there’s still a separation. You make it big here and then you branch out and the United States is the logical next step. So this is a big deal because we’re breaking into the United States. Smart. That would’ve been a smart thing to do because it would’ve made me feel seen as a kid like, Hey, come on over here. I say, yes, yes, I approve.

Matt (00:50:02):

Yeah, I like that They contain it and they make it about very British stuff.

Laci (00:50:07):

That’s fine too. But you’re right. I mean, this is where the good direction could have come in. Just at least let us understand why there’s tension.

Matt (00:50:14):

Sell me on the stakes. Yes. So they go onto their Spice Girls bus, and this bus is divided into five little areas, each matching their personalities. Sporty spice. She lifts weights, posh spice, she tries on dresses,

Laci (00:50:29):

Has a mirror.

Matt (00:50:30):

Ginger Spice reads a horoscope. But by the

Laci (00:50:33):

Way she reads, I think that’s, she’s the intellectual.

Matt (00:50:36):

She’s smart, but she’s reading a horoscope.

Laci (00:50:38):

Yeah, I think they probably, okay, don’t be too smart. Start with the soup it kind of thing.

Matt (00:50:43):

But what is even not just in this movie, what is scary? Spices being supposed to be

Laci (00:50:48):

So scary. Spice was named that because she is the most in your face, the most vocal. She likes to fuck with people whenever they’re being, she’s the one that’ll touch you. She’s the one that’ll like get it. Look this. You have an opinion. That’s why I think she comes off as the ginger. But I think behind closed doors, ginger is the mouthpiece for the girls. Scary is just kind of a spectacle. She’s fun. She has the big, she wears cheetah. She does her hair in a really kitschy way. She’s more theater. She, she’s more of a performer. And because of that, she’s scary. It’s a stupid fucking nickname. They didn’t give themselves nicknames.

Matt (00:51:26):

Baby Spice.

Laci (00:51:27):

That sounds disgusting. I wouldn’t put anything in my coffee called Baby.

Matt (00:51:30):

They’re not good nickname. Or at least the only one of these. You would want attributes that sort of represent, there’s five types of women, like how there’s

Laci (00:51:38):

Fashion, spice, fashionista, spice. At least be something more than, I’m just posh.

Matt (00:51:43):

But at least if you’re Sporty Spice, you’re like, yeah, I’m a sporty person myself. Or I’m a tomboy, or I’m gay, or whatever.

Laci (00:51:50):

That one makes the most sense.

Matt (00:51:51):

Yes, that’s the one that makes sense. The rest are, and Posh Spice makes a little sense. I like fine things

Laci (00:51:57):

Fine, but she’s mainly into fashion. And Victoria Beckham is a fashion icon and always has been since here. So it’s like dig a little bit more in her personality.

Matt (00:52:08):

But the other attributes are, I’m a baby.

Laci (00:52:11):

Well, okay, the pigtails are a choice, but so did Britney Spears and Yeah. I’m just trying to think of what else could you have called Baby Spice? That’s the thing, they’re so simple that it’s hard to beat it because there was no thought given. And the only actual spice is ginger. Ginger is at least a spice. You could have at least gone with thine Thine. Yeah.

Matt (00:52:38):

But it could be the case that the fact that it’s not specific is why it works, is because you can project anything onto this.

Laci (00:52:47):

Like wild spice, not fucking scary. Oh, the black one’s

Matt (00:52:50):

Scary. It’s scary. Yes. It’s fucking weird. So baby spice is constantly sucking on a sucker.

Laci (00:52:57):

Okay, Matt, every episode we have to deal with your fricking shit.

Matt (00:53:01):

It’s a real thing for me. I find it, it really hinders my ability to watch movies that, and this movie has a sucker throughout, and I had to keep looking away.

Laci (00:53:11):

You dealt with it though.

Matt (00:53:12):

I dealt with it

Laci (00:53:14):

As such a Spice Girl fan. I would think you’d realize that baby’s signature item is that.

Matt (00:53:20):

It’s interesting because as a 10-year-old, I guess I didn’t have this hangup. So this hangup developed between ages 10 and 37.

Laci (00:53:27):

No, I know when it developed at 15,

Matt (00:53:29):

You don’t know. She,

Laci (00:53:30):

Yes, I do know

Matt (00:53:31):

They get to their press conference where they’re announcing their historic performance, but don’t explain why it’s historic.

Laci (00:53:36):

It’s historical,

Matt (00:53:38):

And that’s that what they

Laci (00:53:40):

Do. That happened.

Matt (00:53:41):

We meet George Win and Mark McKinney as movie producers. They

Laci (00:53:45):

Just don’t give these guys anything to do. I mean, they work their parts fine, but it is confusing why we need both a movie being pitched and a documentary happening alongside everything else. It is just chaotic.

Matt (00:54:00):

Hey, we got to get to 90 minutes somehow. So they see the Spice Girls on TV and they’re like, Hey, the Spice Girls, we ought to put them in pictures, but can they act? Who cares if they can act? And so they’re like, but we need an idea for a Spice Girls movie. And Mark McKinney is like, here’s an idea. They’re the Spice Girls. There’s five of them, and there’re singers, and I love it. That’s it. It’s a meta joke about the movie itself.

Laci (00:54:26):

The movie is very meta,

Matt (00:54:28):

Including with here we meet Roger more as the chief, an unspecified man of authority who is some kind of boss of the Spice Girls and his evil lair. Now here, Laci is the joke. James Bond or Roger Moore played James Bond and his villains would have an evil layer where they pet a cat, but now he’s doing it

Laci (00:54:45):

Himself. What I know, because I’ve seen Austin Power

Matt (00:54:49):

And he does a lot of very confusing fake confusion quotes. He’s like, so I wrote one down, remember that now is the dangerous time. They’ve had a lot of success very quickly. So get ready for the backlash. When the speeding melon hits the wall, it’s Christmas for the Crows. Oh, that

Laci (00:55:06):

Actually makes sense. That actually makes sense.

Matt (00:55:07):

Oh, okay. And so Richard E. Grant is like, oh, okay, yeah, I don’t want a backlash. Do you want me to go after the paparazzi chief? I could stir things up. And as Roger Moore does this, he’s shaking a mixed drink and he says, there’s no need to stir. Get it.

Laci (00:55:25):

Yes, Matt.

Matt (00:55:26):

We get them rehearsing, say, you’ll be there. And this is a nice trick the movie has of here’s how we can play for time, have ’em sing, have ’em do a song.

Laci (00:55:34):

They do the entire fucking album or a mixture of the two, I guess.

Matt (00:55:39):

And to do something to make something out of, other than just watching them perform, they interject the documentary crew who are probably having the same questions the filmmakers are having. Like, so what do we do here? What

Laci (00:55:50):

Do I do? What am I doing? We’re just watching them sing now.

Matt (00:55:56):

But this all gets interrupted when their best friend arrives, Nicola

Laci (00:56:01):

Or Nicola, they’ve managed to make a friend while being, this is confusing. You guys are all new friends. So how do you all have a best friend that shared where she in the house? Was she

Matt (00:56:15):

An herb? This doesn’t exactly. Well, later, there’ll be a very, very long time ago when they were just coming up in this industry. But of course, in reality, yeah, this was like 19 months

Laci (00:56:29):

Ago. Anyway, I do think just this one friend just stands in for the fact that it’s hard when you’re this age and you have fame this fast. So you still have all these connections that are still very connected to you from only a short time ago who two years ago that was your best friend and now you have no time for them at all. So I think that that’s supposed to stand, it’s supposed to give some realistic glimpse into how they might be feeling about their personal life.

Matt (00:56:56):

Nicola is played by the Japanese British actress, Naoko Maori, who in the press at the time was called Rice Spice.

Laci (00:57:04):

Oh wow.

Matt (00:57:06):

Rice Spice the

Laci (00:57:08):

Fuck, man.

Matt (00:57:09):

So yeah, that British press man. So for some reason she’s like, yeah, I’m very pregnant and my boyfriend left me, but I’m overdue for having a baby. And they’re like, oh, babies. Can you imagine what we’d be like if we were mothers? Thus begins the first of many Muppet Baby style. Imagine this cutaways. We get a fantasy sequence. They’re all moms and they all have lots of kids, but live in a house together

Laci (00:57:35):

And just really relate to Sporty Spice because in every time they get a chance to, she has to play the heel. She’s the most embarrassing one in that cutaway where she’s on her exercise bike and she’s bigger than the others and she’s sweaty and whatever. And then when they do the montage where they all dress up as other famous people, she’s a boy twice. And it’s like, that is always the role I got too. I’m comic relief from a man. Everyone else gets to be sexy.

Matt (00:58:01):

You’re sexy,

Laci (00:58:02):

Whatever.

Matt (00:58:03):

And it’s kind of because you’re a man. I was watching a Spice Girls concert from 2019 that’s just available in its entirety on YouTube. The first comment I saw was Sporty spices back must hurt from carrying the band all the way since 1996

Laci (00:58:19):

Should, and you don’t think of her as the pretty one because of the way she dresses, but she’s fricking, she’s very

Matt (00:58:25):

Pretty.

Laci (00:58:27):

I’d say number two on the pretty charts.

Matt (00:58:30):

And I

Laci (00:58:31):

Don’t even know who number one is.

Matt (00:58:32):

And I mean, famously she’s the one who can sing whenever there’s a real singing. I know whenever there’s real singing on any of the songs, it’s her when she belts out things and then you start to notice, oh, they do this in every song,

Laci (00:58:43):

Every single song. But they do give everybody else something to do. But then Scary Spice is the second best. Ginger’s in the middle, and then you’ve got Baby and Pius the worst.

Matt (00:58:53):

I was impressed listening to their music at they Don’t have a Lead Singer and Five is a hard number to divide up equally. But they managed to do it. They do. You get, everybody gets 20% of each song.

Laci (00:59:05):

Well, and they all have just, they’ve really focused and worked on being really good at harmonizing. They all can take on each role that the other one does at any time if they need to. The only one that they can’t really replace is sporty, and that’s why they gave her the least to do. But the most impactful parts of the song, she gets the least time, but it’s the most memorable moments.

Matt (00:59:28):

But when I was a kid and obsessed with this, it never occurred to me that they weren’t all just all singing at the same time. It was just, I know there’s five of them, but it’s just like one singer.

Laci (00:59:35):

Really? Did you not see a music video?

Matt (00:59:38):

I don’t know. I didn’t think of things like that.

Laci (00:59:40):

Most of the time they are all singing at the same time. Maybe that’s

Matt (00:59:42):

Why. But it never occurred to me that there are different people who sing different parts

Laci (00:59:48):

If you, that’s just one voice, not all of them at ones.

Matt (00:59:52):

So we go to meet the paparazzi. Ew. And well, we have Kevin Axford is the editor of this tabloid Rag, the Daily Event, and he’s like, why do I keep saying Spice Girls on the cover of my paper? And his little lieutenant’s like, but you told us to print that story. And he’s like, yeah, I know, but we need a new angle. Who cares if the Spice Girls get to number one again? Who cares if they climb to the top of Mount Everest on an ostrich, or even if they find a cure for deja vu. And then the other guy says, not

Laci (01:00:21):

Me. They do it again. Don’t matter. We really going line for line on this fucking scene.

Matt (01:00:25):

I just wanted to say, but it’s the exact same footage. They don’t even have the actors repeat the line. They literally just use the footage over again. But also, I mean, that’s a kind of funny joke, but Cure for deja vu, is that really a problem we have in society?

Laci (01:00:39):

No, that’s also supposed to be funny.

Matt (01:00:41):

So he’s like, okay, the way this works is we build these acts up and then we need to tear them down. We’ve now entered the Tear Them Down section of the cycle. So Spice Girls Live Show canceled Spice Girls fall out, spice Girls split up, but how are we going to do it? And then all of a sudden this new evil guy shows up, Damien,

Laci (01:01:00):

It’s the guy from Charlie in the chocolate factory,

Matt (01:01:02):

He’s slug worth. And they’re like, Hey, how do we know you’re any good pal? And he’s like, well, here’s you it 7 45 this morning, picking your nose and here’s you behind the bike shed with Eileen Winters when you were 12. She says he’s good.

Laci (01:01:17):

And then he disappears. He’s really good.

Matt (01:01:19):

We get a scene of some movie pitches and it’s just like George went and Mark McKinney are just pitching to the manager, to Clifford to Richard D. Grant. And this is just like a parody of the kinds of ideas Disney had for a Spice Girls movie. They’re like the Melanie C could be an Olympic ski jumper.

Laci (01:01:37):

So now this is when they have some conversation about how they feel about how they’ve been classified, their names and stuff. And they do a little fashion montage of them all dressed as each other. Okay, this picture is fucking with me. It is very jarring to see them all wearing each other’s hair and outfits. There’s also a montage of them dressed as different famous people right from,

Matt (01:02:06):

Yeah, like

Laci (01:02:07):

This is a fashion movie, guys. This is definitely a reason I would’ve liked it and why I like Clueless and other and Jawbreaker and other movies, Rome Michelle High School reunion. The outfits are a big part of why this works for me.

Matt (01:02:21):

The reason they’re like, I’m tired. I feel very stifled by my moniker. So now I’ll try, lemme try something else on for size. I’ll be Marilyn Monroe, I’ll be Sandy from Greece. I’ll be, it’s Rita Hayworth or whatever. And then eventually they just start dressing like each other. Now did you notice who the photographer is?

Laci (01:02:38):

I don’t remember.

Matt (01:02:39):

It’s Dominic West McNulty from The Wire. Isn’t that something?

Laci (01:02:43):

Oh yeah. Yes. Okay. I knew that. I knew him when I saw him, but I did not know who he was.

Matt (01:02:49):

They have to go to this publicity party and their friend Nicola is there and she’s like, will you be all five of you? Be the godmother to my baby

Laci (01:02:58):

Cash?

Matt (01:02:59):

One of them is like, do godmothers get stretch marks? They start asking them questions in a hard day’s night. In a hard day’s night. There’s this famous scene where they’re just accosted by reporters in every question. They just give them a sarcastic asshole response and they’re doing it here. What do you think of boys? I think you should be able to order them like a pizza. But you do like boys, don’t you? Jerry is the Pope a Catholic?

Laci (01:03:24):

Right?

Matt (01:03:24):

And then immediately this turns into a tabloid scandal. The Spice Girls insult the Pope or whatever.

Laci (01:03:31):

They brought ’em up.

Matt (01:03:32):

But this too is a Beatles reference to the Beatles. The Beatles are bigger than Jesus. So Clifford, their manager, is like, here we go. The backlash is started. So he calls Roger Moore for advice, the running joke of the movies every time he calls Roger Moore for advice. Not only does he say a nonsense quote, he doesn’t help at all, but he keeps calling

Laci (01:03:50):

And he’s petting a different animal.

Matt (01:03:52):

Yes. Now he’s petting a bunny, a fucking bunny.

Laci (01:03:56):

Oh, callback.

Matt (01:03:57):

So they fly to Milan where they’re filming some sort of number where they’re carrying Gary Glitter’s song. I’m the leader of the Gang I am. And Gary Glitter had a cameo in the sequence, but it was deleted because after production of this movie, Gary Glitter was arrested for possessing massive amounts of child pornography and he has been in and out of prison ever since.

Laci (01:04:17):

Why out? Maybe just in

Matt (01:04:20):

He’d You served your sentence, you’re reformed now. Yes, I’m very reformed. Oh yes. I’m the leader of the gang. I am. And then just does it again. So they’re singing and then a bunch of men and tiny shorts and sailor hats start dancing around behind them and they’re like, what’s going on?

Laci (01:04:35):

No, this is not us. We are not a beefcake show. We won’t do it.

Matt (01:04:40):

It was interesting to see the Spice Girls in terms of just a few years later, how sexualized Britney Spears and her generation of girl singers were and the Spice Girls kind of,

Laci (01:04:53):

They didn’t need it

Matt (01:04:55):

And were moderately sex positive.

Laci (01:04:58):

There’s no love interest. It’s awesome. There’s not even any flirting. It is very unique that way that there’s five hot girls and I don’t even think anyone says, wow, you guys are pretty. No one even sexualizes them that way. No one’s inappropriate with them the whole time they’re in charge. And it’s like, this is odd. They’re kind of being, it’s like, wait, are they trying to handle them like kids? No, no. People are inappropriate with kids. It’s not that.

Matt (01:05:24):

Well, right here, there’s this joke where these individual dancers start talking with individual spice girls and you keep cutting to baby spice explaining. She’s listing all the stuff to animals she has, and you keep cutting away to Richard D. Grant arguing with the Italian guy and then cutting back to her and she’s like, and then I have a turtle and I have Bud Lightyear and I have Woody. And then finally they cut back and she’s like, so with all of that, I’m just not going to have room for you in my bed.

Laci (01:05:49):

Oh, okay.

Matt (01:05:49):

It’s like, oh, that’s kind of a funny joke. Okay. They compromise. They can reach a compromise with the Italians. The dancers will be fully dressed, but with assless chaps and that’s that.

Laci (01:06:00):

Okay, that’s the gag. But stuff

Matt (01:06:02):

Maybe the sequence would’ve made more sense with Gary Glitter in it.

Laci (01:06:06):

Good choice though.

Matt (01:06:07):

They go back to Britain and their toilets are all broken on the bus, so they have to get off for a wee in the Lu, the lu that

Laci (01:06:16):

Is the woods. So they’re just going through the woods with flashlights looking for a place to pee. It’s like all of it’s a place to pee. Just stop. As soon as there’s trees, you pee. Just wear it. You can’t find a toilet this way. But no, they need to have their et moment or whatever. And even people from other planets are trying to go to their concerts, but they can’t get tickets. I don’t know. This scene is like, okay, really stop. This is fucking madlibs. What’s happening? Why do we need this? This is not advancing the

Matt (01:06:43):

Plot. Well, things don’t just have to be there because they advance the plot.

Laci (01:06:47):

Oh, sorry Matt, thank you for telling me that.

Matt (01:06:49):

Theoretically, this is funny, but you don’t think it’s funny.

Laci (01:06:53):

No,

Matt (01:06:53):

No, no. Okay.

Laci (01:06:55):

I do think it’s an interesting alien creation. I was like, well, that’s more creative than it needed to be. I’ve never seen anything like this except for maybe in Munchkinland. I

Matt (01:07:05):

Think these were costumes that were in the set for some other production. They’re like, well, those will do.

Speaker 3 (01:07:11):

I guess

Matt (01:07:13):

They get back to their bus and they tell their manager, we saw aliens. And he is like, yeah, okay, listen, I told you all that you’d have the morning off tomorrow, but my stupid boss won’t let you. And then they’re like, well, we hate you, Clifford. We quit. Really? No, not really. We love you. Tomorrow they have to report for dance camp under the instruction of Mr. Step who’s very funny. He’s a flamboyant drill sergeant, played by Michael Berry Moore. And they’re confused because he’s a drill sergeant, but he’s acting very flamboyant and knows a ton about dance. But he’s also

Laci (01:07:45):

Mean doesn’t know anything about dance.

Matt (01:07:46):

Well, I don’t know anything about dance. So it seems like he knew what

Laci (01:07:48):

He was doing. No, the joke. No, the joke is that he can’t dance as well. That’s also part of it.

Matt (01:07:54):

Oh, I just wrote, he gets results.

Laci (01:07:55):

No, at no point does he teach him how to dance of any dance of any kind.

Matt (01:08:00):

The best teacher is the kind who you don’t even notice is teaching you. Are they good dancers? I don’t know. I can’t tell. No,

Laci (01:08:07):

They’re just decent. They all have rhythm. They all like to dance. Except for Victoria Beckham, you cannot dance. So I think they’re probably catering to their least talented persons. That’s why they’re dancing so simplistic. That’d be Victoria Beckham. Victoria. What was her name?

Matt (01:08:26):

Adams.

Laci (01:08:27):

Adams.

Matt (01:08:28):

There’s a pretty funny sequence where they’re all, they have to stay in this big haunted house for some reason. And Damien, the paparazzi sneaks in through the toilet, but they all hear him do it and they all get scared. So they end up in a bed together. They’re scared. I thought I kind of would like if the movie were just this, if it were just them, if it were literally Scoopy doo, the Spice Girls are in a haunted house, that would be a fun movie.

Laci (01:08:51):

Are you sure it’s a haunted house, Matt?

Matt (01:08:52):

No, I know. It’s not literally

Laci (01:08:53):

A haunted, no, that’s not what I’m asking, Matt. I’m saying, was it not supposed to be a stand-in for this is their house is they’re going home to go to sleep. Or this is later? I thought this was supposed to be like, because in real life they all stayed in a house in Berkshire.

Matt (01:09:07):

Is that what this is? No, I think this is their dance camp house.

Laci (01:09:09):

Oh, okay.

Matt (01:09:11):

And now they all get into the bed together and talk about their anxieties. What if we’re not good at the concert? We’re very scared of the concert. So then it ends up in the press, spice Girls worried about their concert. Oh no. I liked that. When Richard E. Grant sees this in the tabloids, he gets so mad. He starts strangling a stuffed animal pig. That was pretty funny.

Laci (01:09:37):

I laughed multiple times during this movie and it angered me every time.

Matt (01:09:44):

No, we get another movie pitch or this time it’s a TV pitch. It’s the Spice Force five. It’s a Charlie’s Angels thing where they’re Charlie’s Angels.

Laci (01:09:52):

Fox Force five was in Pulp Fiction.

Matt (01:09:55):

So they just did that. They’re like, oh, that’s nice. That’s fun.

Laci (01:09:58):

They can all put in an outfit. That’ll be good.

Matt (01:10:01):

Jerry Ginger Spice is a master of disguise. She goes into a phone booth and travels, transforms into Bob Hoskins.

Laci (01:10:06):

That’s funny.

Matt (01:10:07):

And he’s like,

Laci (01:10:07):

Roger,

Matt (01:10:08):

Because the movie needs to have conflict. They are rehearsing for their big show at the Albert Hall and the Spice Girls are like, we don’t want to rehearse. We want to have fun. They’re like, girls don’t thousands of people depend on you. And they’re like, some things are more important. What could be more important? Things like friendship and self-respect. And so they all get mad for no reason and then all goes to their separate ways.

Laci (01:10:33):

They’re all tired. I mean, I think that’d been a much more interesting thing if they could have just made it about how this is really exhausting.

Matt (01:10:39):

But that’s not, that’s never treated seriously.

Laci (01:10:43):

I know.

Matt (01:10:44):

And then the manager is like, I think I may have just started the Brick up of the Spice Girls.

Laci (01:10:48):

You do.

Matt (01:10:49):

And then he screams in agony and the stage lights all come on behind him. It’s funny.

Laci (01:10:54):

Now they have their flashback. They’re all remembering why are they even doing this? What was it all for? And then thinking back to how hard it was when they were just first starting out, just five girls at a cafe writing songs and making the poor owner listen to them. It’s just like, that’s not how you started. You guys had a platform as soon as you came together, it was built for you. You just had to work at your steps and you’re singing it in your writing.

Matt (01:11:25):

This is the actual demo that they recorded though.

Laci (01:11:28):

I know. It just looks like they’re like pounding the streets, showing off their act, trying to get some respect. That’s not what happened. But anyway, I guess it is still fun after a whirlwind thing to think back to what it was like before and to appreciate it, re-appreciate it again. It is crazy that this happened and we weren’t always famous and it had its good things and its bad things. And now we’re the Spice Girls

Matt (01:11:57):

And they play the Want to Be demo. And in this version of the song, in the real version of the song, it’s just one person says, tell you what I want, what really want. Then another person responds in the demo, which I then listened to on Spotify to confirm this. It is Scary. Spice says, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really want. And then the four respond. I’ll tell you what I thought. I like that better. I that better. That’s more fun. I am always in favor of group singing though. So now it’s been a very difficult two minutes for the Spice Girl as they have broken up. But they all come back together spontaneously.

Laci (01:12:30):

They’re just tired

Matt (01:12:32):

In my memory. They broke up. I remembered the scene with Sporty Spice with her soccer ball on a stoop, and she’s very sad. My band broke up,

Speaker 4 (01:12:40):

But I love this ball.

Matt (01:12:42):

At least my ball will stay with me. They go to this chips shop or whatever, this is

Laci (01:12:49):

The chippy

Matt (01:12:50):

Where Charlie used to sell them sandwiches and bean pudding

(01:12:54):

And they’re like, you’re here too. Oh, I’m here. So they’re back together and they decide to go get some food. So they go eat some bean pudding by the tams and they start to reminisce. They’re like, we used to worry about where our next mail will come from. Now we worry about where our next single will trot. Oh, when it will all be over. So there’s a fantasy sequence with a judge played by Stevens Fry, and he’s like, you Spice Girls are charged with producing a record that is by no means as kicking as your previous record. And what’s funny is they all look really guilty and dejected as he says all of this. He says, you’re sentenced to 20 years of appearing on cheesy chat shows talking about how you used to be famous. Well, that’s horrible to imagine. But they’re like, one of the problems is just not in touch with our friends anymore. Like Nicola, hey, let’s take her out tonight.

Laci (01:13:47):

This is when I get angry. I don’t care how fucking out of touch you are. No one thinks a past due pregnant person who’s past their fucking date of giving birth. We’d like to go to a club and stay out all night. It’s just so fucking stupid. It angers me at how illogical it is. It’s illogical on a fundamental place that is only distracting. It makes them look like fucking selfish assholes angers me. It’s not funny. It’s not

Matt (01:14:18):

Played. I would say that’s supposed to be the joke. But yeah, it’s not played like

Laci (01:14:21):

That’s the joke. It’s right. And then their poor little friends like, no, y’all go have fun. They just want to put them at a nightclub. And each of them take turns looking at her going, this is for you.

Matt (01:14:31):

It is not just that she’s pregnant, it’s that she’s like a weak pastor dude.

Laci (01:14:35):

Right. In

Matt (01:14:36):

Pain. You can’t be more pregnant

Laci (01:14:37):

And the most tired you could imagine being except for right after you give birth. So a nightclub all night long, what the fuck?

Matt (01:14:46):

But the Spice Girls are having fun dancing at this club now, in reality, they would’ve been literally molested by a mob of people if they went out into a club. But they’re just allowed to dance in the club. And this club is playing their song, which I think, I don’t know shit about dance music, but I think the London Club scene would not have been playing Spice Girls song.

Speaker 4 (01:15:03):

Oh really? Yeah.

Matt (01:15:06):

There is that funny moment where Clifford and his associate Deborah meet at a bar and they’re like, fame fame’s a bitch. Fame is such a fickle thing. And then the bartender takes their order and it’s Elvis Costello. And this lady, Deborah says, wait a minute. And Elvis Costello says yes. And he’s like, she’s like, could you make me a double?

Laci (01:15:24):

So when recognized, no.

Matt (01:15:27):

So meatloaf drives them to the hospital. Their friend Nicola has gone into labor at the dance

Laci (01:15:32):

Club. Can you imagine who could have seen that?

Matt (01:15:34):

And this labor, it lasts a long time and they have to go to their concert at the Royal Abort Hall, but they refuse to leave their poor lonely friend. And as they wait, another family in the hospital and she’s like, Hey, spice Girls. Hey, yeah, my name’s David. Come see for a minute. My son is in a coma. Could

Laci (01:15:50):

You go talk to him? No, my son is unconscious.

Matt (01:15:53):

Thank you, Laci.

Laci (01:15:54):

Well, it’s different.

Matt (01:15:55):

My son is unconscious.

Laci (01:15:56):

He’s in the emergency room, unconscious, not he’s been in a coma.

Matt (01:16:00):

Could you go talk to him? They’re like, yeah, sure. So they go and they’re like, hello, hello. Little unconscious boy. I don’t know what to do. Should I take my top off? And then he opens his eyes.

Laci (01:16:12):

Hubba Hubba.

Matt (01:16:12):

Yep. They keep getting phone calls from their managers saying, please come do the concert. Please don’t be broken up. Please come to the concert. They’re like, we’re not coming until there’s a baby. And this is about friendship and girl power, but you would never understand you fucking coward. But then the baby is born. Yes,

Laci (01:16:30):

Yay. Just in time. And they’ve been up all fucking night. That’s a perfect way to do a concert.

Matt (01:16:35):

So George went and his producing pal, they have more pitches now for Clifford and they start narrating things that can happen in the movie. And as they narrate them, the things start to happen. In the movie, for example, they come in contact with the evil paparazzi guy, but the power of girl power wins him over. And as George went, says, there won’t be a dry seed in the house. I’m white already. They get into their bus, but meatloaf isn’t there. So Victoria drives and it’s a bus chase through Trafalgar Square, past Buckingham Palace. They wave at the Queen. Hey William. Hi Charlie. But suddenly they get onto the roof for some reason and then fall back down. Then they hit the Tower bridge, but it’s going up. So they have to make a jump like speed.

Laci (01:17:21):

It’s a funny gag. It is a funny, they say they don’t have the budget, so they show just a

Matt (01:17:24):

Sounds expensive.

Laci (01:17:25):

Just a car and a fake Bri. It’s funny.

Matt (01:17:27):

It’s a toy. And just when you think if they’re all safe, they discover the bomb. Why a bomb? Fucking nevermind. Okay, they get to the concert in time,

Laci (01:17:38):

Yay. But they don’t burst through the door. You think they’re going to? But then they do

Matt (01:17:42):

Because they’ve been detained by a copper and there’s been this thread throughout the movie that Baby spice can get away with anything because she’s a baby. I’m a baby. And she gives her her I’m a baby smile and it works. And he is like, go on, you Spice Girls. Yay. Well, there’s just one more joke that I really like Richard E. Grant. Before the Spice Girls have triumphantly returned, he’s like, fuck, I killed the Spice Girls. I ruined everything. Okay, here’s the plan. We’re going to turn off the house lights, the fog machines, start the shit. Everything’s going to look epic and I’m going to go out and hang myself.

Laci (01:18:18):

That’s a dark show for a kids movie.

Matt (01:18:21):

But then the Spice Girls burst through the room and Alan Cumming says, shit, we just lost a good ending to our documentary. The girls get up on stage and sing their brand new song, spice Stop Your Life and everyone’s dancing. The producers, the manager, the Copper,

Laci (01:18:35):

The Aliens,

Matt (01:18:35):

The Aliens. Yes. Meatloaf, Roger Moore. That’s all happening. That’s the movie. That’s Spice World.

Laci (01:18:40):

They did it. Everyone. They did it. They think they’re going to be okay for another year and a half.

Matt (01:18:45):

Not even that nine

Laci (01:18:47):

Months.

Matt (01:18:48):

They had six months maybe left. Okay, well by the barest of Bare Margins, I’m going to give this three stars. I’m going to give it a recommend. Part of it is Sky is bottom, expectations, whatever the opposite of Sky High is. Volcano bottom expectations. And just laughing enough times and thinking, Richard E. Grant is really funny.

Laci (01:19:35):

I was just so bored. I was so bored. It

Matt (01:19:37):

Was boring.

Laci (01:19:37):

But I mean, through talking about it, I realized how many unique things it did and how unique they allowed them to be and what an interesting group dynamic they have in a way that I don’t think I’ve seen before. But it’s not enough to entertain me for an hour and a half.

Matt (01:19:56):

My evaluation is just like of all universes where the Spice Girls make a movie. It’s like, yeah, I mean this might be as good as you could possibly expect to make a movie in two months with non-professional actors and in the midst of also doing all the other things. You made a surprisingly functional and funny movie,

Laci (01:20:15):

But no one asked you to do it so you didn’t have to exist. So make it later to revive your career. I don’t know. Set aside some time to actually do it. It seems like a cash grab. It seemed like it kind of worked. It worked for me at the time and I cannot believe how disposable it was. I mean, I held on to nothing. That’s odd.

Matt (01:20:41):

Yeah. You weren’t quoting me

Laci (01:20:42):

Along with the movie. No. It was completely erased from my mind.

Matt (01:20:46):

So what do you give it?

Laci (01:20:48):

Oh two. Wow.

Matt (01:20:51):

Rare is the movie that I like more than Laci. Okay, well that was what in a 150th episode it’s been. Thank you for sticking with Load Bearing Beams. I know every single one of you has been listening since day one.

Laci (01:21:05):

We should have done Showgirls

Matt (01:21:06):

When we talked about Star Wars and Dirty Dancing. We should have done show. Well now you tell me.

Laci (01:21:12):

You didn’t ask me no

Matt (01:21:15):

Here.

Laci (01:21:15):

You went over my head

Matt (01:21:16):

To quote you bitch. But next week, what are we doing?

Laci (01:21:21):

I don’t fucking know. What are we doing?

Matt (01:21:23):

Yeah, this is because Laci’s getting the week off next week. Special Oscar special’s to a conference. I was about to say concert the Spice Girls

Laci (01:21:32):

Concert. Yeah. No, I’m going to go work a conference. Going to go work my ass off. So yeah, I won’t be doing the special.

Matt (01:21:38):

Yeah. So I am talking to a bunch cavalcade of superstar guests to preview the major categories in the upcoming Oscars. And this will be out February 28th, 2025. If you don’t know anything about the Oscars, we’ll tell you, we’ll

Laci (01:21:54):

Fill you in.

Matt (01:21:55):

Laci might make a few cameo appearances though. You’ll still get your fix.

Laci (01:21:58):

I don’t

Matt (01:22:00):

Want to, don’t you don’t want to do any of

Laci (01:22:01):

This.

Matt (01:22:03):

But on our Patreon next week, one hour of Girl Power. Now that we’ve talked about the Spice Girls, I’m thinking maybe we should do something else. I

Laci (01:22:11):

Know, me too. What about Metallica? Some kind of monster Who’s going to notice?

Matt (01:22:18):

No one’s going to notice. Okay. Maybe it will be some kind of anger except the life. That sounds good.

Laci (01:22:23):

Yeah, that sounds we deserve it.

Matt (01:22:25):

I was so excited about the Spice Girls a week ago.

Laci (01:22:27):

I was too, and they’re perfectly lovely, but the movie drained me. I did not, there’s nothing, it did not spark anything for me to get pumped to talk about.

Matt (01:22:38):

And they just don’t have that many songs.

Laci (01:22:40):

They really don’t. And they all kind of sound alike.

Matt (01:22:44):

Like five good songs at Sorry, everybody.

Laci (01:22:48):

We’re sorry.

Matt (01:22:49):

We’re sorry

Laci (01:22:50):

We were fans and still like them as people

Matt (01:22:54):

Say, you’ll be there. Best Spice Girl Song say you’ll be there. Would you agree?

Laci (01:22:59):

I wouldn’t disagree, Matt. I wouldn’t disagree.

Matt (01:23:01):

How many of those songs could you play on guitar for somebody and they would go My heart to your brother and he would say, oh my

Laci (01:23:08):

Heart, I can’t play anything on guitar. So Zero.

Matt (01:23:13):

We’re on YouTube Load Bearing Beans Pod. We have the Severance Recap Show, which you can watch every Sunday. It’s

Laci (01:23:19):

Well received by those who hear it, give it a shot.

Matt (01:23:23):

It is well received. Probably more popular than anything else we’ve ever done. TV More popular than movies, I don’t know. But you could follow me on letterbox at Matt Stokes nine and follow Laci on Letterbox at Load Bearing Laci. And you can hear Rural Route Nine’s music. That is my band. And Wade and Patrick, if you’re listening, we will cover say you’ll be there one day. I’m putting my foot down

Laci (01:23:46):

Because you’re going to spice up your life.

Matt (01:23:48):

Yes.

Laci (01:23:48):

Okay, I love you, goodbyeeeeeeeee!